Realizing

Ok, so I am still learning what I need to do for this calorie counting thing, more and more people are saying that for someone my size that 1300 just is not enough calories for a day, and the more I read the more I am seeing lots of the same thing, I am upping the weekday calories to 1500 as this seems to be the number I see as the lowest number most say that I should be considering (many say 1600), and if I am being honest, I don't know if the fact that I actually got scared when I started researching a weight loss surgery or if I am just determined this time but the hunger that I feel is very minimal at this point. I want to hit this thing hard and thats why I decided on 1500 (I would honestly like to keep it at 1300 but too many things say not to) . I do know that I cannot give up until I drop this weight and look forward to learning as much as I can to do that, obviously I failed Diet 101 thus far in my life.

Today I had upped the calories to 1500 as I was going to do 1300 weekday 1500 weekend so I had a larger than normal breakfast and made myself a 6oz chicken breast and 2/3 cup cooked white rice for lunch and was full before I finished, what was left on the plate was just over 1oz of the chicken so I put it back in the fridge and removed the cals from the lunch total on my Excel sheet. I want this to be a lifestyle change and not just a "diet" so I am trying to eat as healthy as I can without becoming completely deprived of good hearty meals.

I said it before and I am going to say it again, I don't know if my hunger/willpower has been replaced with determination or fear but this has been the easiest time that I have had with a diet that I can ever remember, and believe me I have done it before and I know its only been a week now but it seems way easy to this point. maybe its that "oh Damn!" feeling that I got when I realized that I was researching the side effects of a weight loss surgery, or maybe the fear I felt when I saw "death" as a side effect of the surgeries, or maybe I have just become determined by reading about all of it and have just had enough.


sometimes if ya just take a look at yourself you'll know your doing it wrong


My father and I once had a conversation about why little fish attack big fish and can get away with it, and we had come to the conclusion that a fish cannot see its body so doesn't realize how small it is, and that maybe if it saw itself in a mirror it would realize. I feel like a fish that has just swam by a mirror and realized how big it was. Anyways just an intermission for a Sunday afternoon. and as always, Thanks for reading

As Ever
Me