Friday, September 27, 2013

Stepping on the scale, sometimes its so rewarding.

After a week of walking and eating the correct foods my weight has come down again and I am feeling good again. I say feeling good "again" because no matter what I do when my body is not getting what it needs in the way of exercise and intake I never feel as good as when I am eating correctly and moving more. 

I'll keep this post simple and to the point as I want to get out for a walk before it rains, I am down to 397.0 pounds this morning, yesterday morning it was lower but I had a late dinner and barely any sleep last night and it shows on the scale this morning. 397.0 means that I am down 2.6 pounds from last Friday, I'll take it! If I can continue to drop an average of 2.5 pounds per week I will be 330 pounds by my goal date of April 1st and I hope I can get it off faster than that but I do think that 2.5 pounds per week is an achievable goal.

 Making my way back down to a healthier weight, Feeling good again and with some discipline and hard work I will get there again. 

That's all I got for today as my walk calls. 

As Ever

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

It's your process, fuck the rest.

Walking, riding, eating right and staying hydrated, welcome to my life right now. This is the way it needs to be, I enjoy life like this better than any other way so that makes being a stress eater very frustrating. I see motivational sayings posted all over the internet and facebook etc and I think most of them are pretty silly mostly because I think every person struggling with weight loss though sharing THAT common denominator is in a different place.

5?? pounds.

I can state "The decision is yours! You have the fork in your hand! just put it down!" and some of the people will completely relate and say "hell yeah!" while others will want to say it and feel that way but truth be told they are not at that stage in their process. I find that weight loss and better health is less one dimensional than that and one day to the next can be completely different experiences not from different people but from the same person. When I am on point I feel unstoppable, I am a weight loss superstar dammit and this fat will not continue to loiter around on my front step and that's the end of it, but when a bad day peeks in well yeah. When I am off its a struggle, I mean every minute of the day, Staying true to the process is not easy in those moments and no matter how much I want or need to stay dead solid on track something inside is trying to get me to fail at that task.

I know life, if you want to call it that at more than 500 pounds, I know life at 300 pounds and I know life at 400 knowing how the other two feel after being there so recently and frustration is dug in deep on all levels. When I was 500 pounds I thought there was no fixing it on my own, I felt like it was a hopeless venture and I would be stuck there forever so I tried. That adventure brought me all the way down to 300 pounds, I got invites from talk shows to appear on them and I even went to the Dr Oz show because of it, I have made friends because of the weight loss, I rode my bikes constantly became very active and felt amazing. Then less than a couple years ago I lost my mother, I was 330 pounds on that day and I know because I posted a blog post here and got the call immediately after I posted and days like that tend to stick out in a persons mind. Some other "stresses" dominated my life and I put on at least 100 pounds over the last year and a half or so, currently I am just under 400 pounds after losing at my best estimate about 30 pounds.

320 lbs

Losing weight and better health is not a one size fits all kind of thing, BUT in general if you eat less (and healthy foods) and move more the weight should come off even if its not as fast as you would like. I am extremely motivated and pig headed once I get something in my head and for the life of me I could not drop any weight in the last almost two years no matter how hard I tried or pretended to try or or or.... 

I think that its awesome that blogger X, Y and Z are at that point in their process that they can tout how easy it is as long as you put the fork down or how YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF WHAT YOU EAT! rah rah sis boom bah! awesome... but.. Something I have learned is that no matter who we are, we all struggle with the same problem in very different ways and that is why there is no "miracle pill" that works or will ever work. 

 320 lbs

I am at a point in my process where I can see things from so many angles all at the same time and I almost feel like this is what I needed on a personal level to get and keep the weight off permanently, you know, to see 500, 300 and then start coming back up again so that in a way its like that whole not missing something till its gone thing. I am just under 400 pounds, I need to get back down to a maximum of 300 pounds and I almost feel like I needed to taste that freedom so that I can appreciate it the way that I should have when I was there the first time around. 

Walking with my children, riding my bike with my daughter, riding my bike alone on a trail covered in dead leaves on a cool Autumn day, appreciating everything that I can do effortlessly because I am not carrying the equivalent of another human being on my bones  are just some of the things that I enjoy about not being super obese. 

305 lbs, I need to get back here like NOW!

This post is purely written for me, I contemplated not posting it to the blog but I use the blog to reflect back at moments and how I felt at a given moment so it shall be posted. Take from it what you want to, take nothing at all if that works for you but remember we are all walking a road that is filled with obstacles, we all struggle and though the end results that we all seek may be the same, the road taken is rarely even close to the same.  

Stay focused, Stay as positive as the moment permits and with a ton of hard work I believe that we can all meet at the end of that road and share our stories of how we got there with one another. 

That's all I got. 

As Ever

Friday, September 20, 2013

Weighing in on weighing in. A less profound but more factual post from your favorite fat man.

So a couple weeks ago I weighed in at 403.6 pounds on my scale that only goes up to 400 pounds so I questioned its accuracy from the start but at the same time seeing a number was good for the mind. After that day I didn't get another weight to show up so my questioning it was warranted but since I am a gotta see the numbers kind of fella my lovely wife went out and got us a new scale that  goes to 450 pounds... eeeeeek! I never thought a scale that robust would be needed again but alas, here we are.

In the beginning of the week I weighed 404.6 pounds and this morning I busted through that 400 pound barrier and weighed in at 399.6 pounds. I will give it another week before I celebrate getting out of the 400's but damn I gotta say its a weight lifted off of my shoulders and I mean quite literally along with the figurative part of that statement. 

I have been walking daily 1.8 miles on my "short walk" and a more average 2.3 miles but at least twice per week I do my "long walk" which is 3.2 miles. My calorie intake is @ 1800 per day currently and will remain there until I stop dropping weight. Evening rides with my daughter have slowed down since she started school again but I am trying to get them going again before it gets too cold for her to ride. 

I am feeling like myself again, focused, on point, determined and disciplined with everything that I do. Food is once again merely fuel for my body instead of a "treat" or something to "reward" myself with  and I am embarrassed along with aggravated at myself for allowing things not exactly in my control to beat me back into an unhealthy way of living. 

I am determined to get back down to my low weight and beyond..

As Ever

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Getting back into a groove, Yep I sure am.

Feeling pretty amazing lately has got me thinking about how much I have missed out on because I let myself slip back into some old habits and is solidifying this decision to take control again. One of the best things about this is that I am back on the bicycles again, I have racked up more miles in this past month than the entire whole of the year to the point when I started riding again and I have to admit, it feels good. 

We got out for a ride with some friends on Sunday despite the horrific humidity that day we all had a blast! we rode we hiked then we rode and hiked some more, it was nothing intense, I mean we moved at the speed of a set of 8 year olds most of the time but it was an awesome day none the less. I took the K2 out, my daughter on her little pink Trek and we headed out with our riding partners for some pedal time. My daughter was sort of training the other girl because she is new to two wheels and my daughter has been learning the "rules of the road" for the past month or so. She understands no darting into the road, stay to the right, "on your left" when passing someone, announcing your presence to others on the trails with a foot drag or a bell as to not startle them into running into her etc etc and her friend well.. 

 My daughters ride and the K2 above.

 Our riding partners "cruisers" a pair of electras, This is my friend with the Jamis 29er's Cruiser bike.

After the first hour or so both of the girls were staying where they needed to be but my daughters friend still needed to be guided so her father and I gave verbal ques while my daughter kept on being an example. After about 4 hours of riding and hiking around we decided it was time to call it quits as our friends needed to run some errands at home so we loaded everything up and off w went home. 

This last month or so of me being back where I need to be with diet and exercise has been petty awesome, I am feeling good again and my weight is dropping. Getting out for rides and my daily walks with my other daughter are alone reason enough to keep on doing it let alone the awesome that is going into me daily. 

I am setting some goals for myself with where I want to be and I am still growing the beard until I hit 334 pounds again which.. I am happy that colder weather is coming for that one. To recap on the beard thing, I told my wife that I was not shaving my beard until I got back down to where I was in June of 2011, That was 334 pounds so until I get there I have this beard that seems to catch everything that comes close to my face. I would like to be 350 pounds by Christmas but if I am not there yet oh well and I will continue on, as far as the goal setting I am keeping them light even though there are a few but I am keeping them light because something that I learned is that as long as the quality of life is there the rest will fall into place and thats what its all about for me at this point. 

I hope ya enjoyed some of the pictures from our Sunday ride and I am trying to post a lot more often now so come on back and check in with me more! also if you are a twitter user you can follow me @Zeusmeatball if you care to or send me a friend request on facebook (link is top left of this page)  and with that, another post is done. 

As Ever

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Flying blind on a rocket cycle...

I have been doing this with the Bodymedia arm band for 22 days now, I have been sticking to walking and eating right for about a week past that and though I know that I am doing everything right I had no gauge because my scale checks out at 400 pounds. Frustrating much? damn right it is, working my ass off but not knowing where the progress or lack of progress is is a little annoying. The 1980 flick Flash Gordon (one of my favorite flicks) came to mind, there is a line in that movie where he says that hes flying blind on a rocket cycle when talking to Prince Vultan and its how I've felt.

Until this morning...

Hopped onto the scale this morning and the little spinning circles were going to stop on "E" again so I barely looked at down but when it stopped t was not an E, no it was not, not today it was a 403.6. So I got on again and waddaya know, 403.6 again and with that I have something to go off to measure progress without looking into the mirror and thinking "I look a little less puffy" so I am pleased with this event this morning. I am taken back to a post from when I started dropping weight in the beginning of 2008 and its funny how clear I remember writing that post. I did not have a scale back then and when I finally got one that would hold me I was 511 pounds, I remember being happy that I was 511 pounds and I mentioned in the post how excited I was and its again how I feel this morning.

I am very much addicted to checking my weight when I am on, Hey! I like to know my progress what can I say? so knowing that I am today weighing in at 403.6 pounds I have a start point, a line in the sand if you will and its time to start crushing it again... hey hey no fat jokes! I crush lots of things but this weight is coming down and the plan is to get it back down to 300 then reevaluate from there. 

I will continue to do what I am doing because its obviously working, I am back on the scale, I feel better than I have in a year and thats enough. I am doing my part now my body needs to keep on letting go of the weight and we will get back to where we need to be and I can get on with not being as giant as I am/was again.

Today I will go on my walk, today I will go on my evening bike ride with my daughter and today I will eat within my calorie limits, see ya back at 300 pounds!

That's all I got for today

As Ever