Monday, February 10, 2014

Day 1, an inch at a time... Kicking and screaming if I must.

Baby steps.. that's what they say right? This oh woe is me shit doesn't look good on me so I've decided that I am going to try and pull that old me.. err or is it the new me? or maybe the new old me, well whatever it is hes coming back out in the front of the line. Its hard, I won't lie but when has it been easy? so if I drag myself an inch at a time eventually that will be a foot, then a mile then.... 

I am tired of this shit, I am tired of being tired and I am aggravated with myself for allowing the back pedaling with my health and weight, in that order because with good health comes the weight loss. I was once a completely sedentary 500 pound man, I became an extremely active 300 pound super hero and I have slowly but surely inched my way back up to over 400 pounds and inactive. No fucking way am I going to let myself stay here, I deserve better and like I said, if I have to drag my ass an inch at a time so be it. 

There will be slips, there will be days that I don't feel the way I feel as I write this but working through those times is what I need to relearn to do because if I don't I let people down and not just myself. When I started this blog I was completely lost, it was an experiment as much as a desperate man forcing a change so that death was not peeking into his windows every night and this time around I have a little more experience and I have to apply that to my daily so that we're back where we need to be.

Today I decided that this would be my Day 1.

Today I am recommitting myself to myself.

Today I take back what I worked so hard to get and what I deserve to have. 

This train is no longer idle, please step aside, I would hate to run over any innocent bystanders.. 

As Ever


  1. I do know how you feel!!I have been on the same "train".I get so angry with myself and can't figure out why I can't get that same sense of comittment I had a few months ago.I have read your blogs and am so happy to read this onbe today.I will be checking back often!!You can do this !You are strong!!

  2. Zeus!!! YES!! You're not alone, my friend. You're never alone. You deserve more, you deserve good, you deserve it all! Thrilled to read this from you.
    Strength, my friend--strength!

  3. I've been following since your beginning, and if I remember correctly the old new you would have posted regarding day 2 and day 3 by now. Do it, man! I know you can! Would another pint of ice cream in the freezer, not to be touched in a year, help? Maybe just for old time sake?

    FWIW... I still check for entries a few times a week, even if it's been months since we've heard from you. Thanks

  4. Fantastic! You can do this- a day at a time! WELL DONE!!

  5. heck yea man! pratice makes perfect they always say! 1st round was pratice now its get serious time!

  6. Just discovered your blog today, look forward to going back and reading about your success and failures. I see so many similarities to my own story. Hope your still on track since this post 10 days ago. Good luck and look forward to reading about your triumphant return. Rick

  7. Thank you for sharing your story and being so honest. I can relate in so many ways. I had lost 192 pounds, was treated like a rock star for doing that and then slowly started gaining it back. So I'm in the same boat in terms of trying to turn that all around while digging in my heels not to give up. Hoping the best for you!

  8. Please don't give up! This is a life-long journey with ups (unfortunately!) and downs. You know how much better you felt when you were MOVING! So get up and go, meatball! I'll be watching for an update . . . Deb (as anonymous 'cause I'm one of those retro paranoid geeks that doesn't have an account on every media out there :-)

  9. Just found your blog (from a search on toppings for tortilla pizzas of all things) and have been reading through your entries. Glad to hear you are back on the train, I wish you the best! Hope you continue to update, I am enjoying reading.

  10. C'mon, please post. You have shown so much strength in the past, whatever is stopping you now can be overcome.

  11. Just found your blog. How is it going?
    Look, our society does not make it easy to be healthy. You'd think it does, because we have health clubs, healthy food is plentiful, and we have tons of information at our fingertips. But our culture is one of convenience. From convenience foods to a lot of sedentary forms of entertainment (t.v., internet, phones, video games, etc.), it really takes both mental and physical effort to lead a healthy life!
    But it is so worth it!
    Keep fighting the good fight :)
    Take care.

  12. Stay strong, man! Stay strong.

    Angel -

  13. Good luck! Would be a shame to waste all the effort you put in to lose all that weight! I'm sure you can do it!

  14. Dude! I'm right where you are! Starting again. Check me out