Monday, April 14, 2014

What we've got here is failure to communicate.

My mind says forward all engines captain yet my body refuses to comply with the order, whats a guy to do. Being negative is not how I dropped 230 pounds and is a huge part of why I have not posted lately, hows that saying go? if ya ain't got nothing nice to say? something like that.

Things OUT of my control dictate the gray matter and this is not how it should be but how does one separate the things that cause stress and the things that need to be done while making them work together if not in harmony just simply get out of one anothers way? If I knew we would be in a different place. 



With spring finally arriving in New England I realize that my hoodie is no longer a hiding place for the extra large version of myself any more and like a ton of bricks I am pissed, upset and feeling let down by myself all together. Yes its easy to say "start now" but alas here in lies my problem, I start at least 3 times per week because stress fucks with my noggin in ways that I wish it did not and like I said what to do when you are putting fires out constantly or dealing with complete frustration from more than one direction? I wish I knew. 

The old me... which was the new me.. who has now become the guy I use to be is so close in memory that being this guy that I am now seems foreign yet at the same time he is who is here at the moment. Now that I have thoroughly confused you, basically I am pissed and its time to do something about it because the guy that was doing 25 mile rides on his bike hasn't been around for a while, that guy who hiked all week, I haven't seen him in a bit and I miss him so looking for him is going to be a priority for me now. 

Less than inspiring? down? blah? perhaps thats how this post will be interpreted by anyone who takes the time to read it, maybe it will be seen as a guy whose had enough and is attempting to change a situation again in hopes that it sticks, I'm unsure as its literally just thoughts written as they came. This blog helped me drop 230 pounds once, maybe it can help me drop what I've gained back, at any rate, its worth a try. 

Thats all Igot for now, I'll try and post more often so check it out.

As Ever
Me... or is it.

3 comments:

  1. I wrote a post on regain not that long ago, maybe you'll find some value in it. But it's clear to me that working on the noggin on a daily basis is of the utmost importance. Isolation I believe is one of the biggest causes of regain. Hang in there

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  2. you can do this, one little step at a time. dont look back to what was or what has happened - it is done. you are where you are and thats ok. now be kind to yourself stop all the harsh words to yourself - all the critisism. How about just starting with moving 35 mins a day- walk to start. and log food and eat clean. a day at a time. You can do this. its not easy or nice coming back but you CAN DO IT. sending good vibes your way. be kind to you.hugs

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  3. I just think it is awesome that you are putting yourself our there. It is hard not to beat up on yourself when you fall down, but you are still in the race. There are so many on the sidelines. You are not where you were, and you do not have to go back there. The biggest question I ask myself everyday is what am I willing to do today. In this one day how can I make myself healthier, how can I add to my life. Today is the only day we have. I don't mean that to sound like some pep talk. I am walking this journey with you. I started in July of last year at 511. I am now at 445. One day at a time.

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