112 days a reintroduction

It has been one hundred twelve days since I started this new way of life, I figured I would do a quick reintroduction post for anyone that has not seen the original.

I am a 30 something father of 2 children and husband to the most incredible woman on the planet. with that said I was also well above five hundred pounds just four months ago. It was rare that I was not the biggest guy in the crowd, I stand six foot five inches tall and have a large frame to go with the height and weight add the weight lifting from my late teens to early twenties and, well, You have a pretty large fellow. I never let it bother me and it did not keep me from doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. then about 7 years ago I suffered a back injury, a couple disks in my back were injured and I was basically immobilized for about a year and a half, I couldn't work and was basically miserable. the following 5 years I basically because of the lack of strength in my back and or the presence of pain gained a lot of weight, blowing up to the 500+ pound stature that I was until recently. I never even noticed that life was passing me by or that I was excluding myself from things that I would in the past do. maybe it was pride controlling how I was acting or maybe the fact that I did not want to admit that there was a problem, I don't know, But I do know there was a change in who I was. I recently (a year ago) moved back to my home state of CT from CA and started thinking about how things have changed in the past 7 years and was getting frustrated because I could see the change in myself more clear now since I was "back home" and my wife was growing more concerned with my weight by the day. so I started looking into a weight loss surgery and the more I read the less I liked the idea of having someone go into my body and cut things up and relocate things and force me to not eat as much as I had to have been to reach this size. then I read that death could be a side effect of the surgery, now I know that it could very well mean just because I would be going under for the procedure that there was a risk, I honestly did not look any further than that so I don't know where the risk comes in..I don't care. the mere suggestion that death was an option was enough to make me not want it, this was the first time in my adult life that I had felt fear and that is what has driven me to lose this weight. I have 2 children and a wife that loves me, death is not an option. besides, all that surgery would be for me is willpower at the edge of a scalpel. did I lack the willpower to not let myself die? was I really that weak? me? the guy that never let anything get to him or stop his forward motion? would I miss out on my daughter growing up only because I lacked the willpower to do something about it? No way, something clicked and the "old me" took over again, a decision was made.

112 days later and 83 lbs gone here I am. this is not a decision to lose a few pounds, this is not a decision "try" to lose weight. this is a decision by me to live and do what I have to do to see that my family has me around for a long time. and in the words of Forrest Gump. That's all I have to say about that.

As Ever
Me