Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Juju { You can have this. }

I sometimes think about the struggles we as heavy people go through and the fact that in society heavy people are generally looked down on because of their size and the stigma that goes with that, and what I mean is that if a 500 pound man is walking through a mall people make comments about that man and do it so blatantly as to say it out loud and within earshot of said person and thats ok with most people because it is the fat guys fault that he is fat, isn't it? even if it is their fault who is the other anonymous person to say so in a rude public manner? I will admit to being on the end of some of those comments here and there through life and some of the time they are let go, mostly when its a kid or something because thats not exactly malicious behavior as much as its just something different through child's eyes but when its an adult that says it? or a teenage kid? I have been known to turn towards them and ask them to repeat it to my face and ya know what, I have never had someone take me up on the offer, and yet this behavior is accepted by most people and no one blinks an eye to actions like that.

I am now at a size where I just look like a huge guy more than a huge fat guy and that is what I can relate to, I have always been a big guy and now that I am at a closer to normal weight, even though 394 lbs is not a "normal size" and more like Gorilla sized, it is closer and my being six foot five helps with that as well. I have "got my cockiness back" says my wife, she has been joking with me lately calling me "vain" and what not and I just think to myself "isn't that part of the point?" BUT in my defense I am not vain, just got my juju back I think. I look in a mirror now and see me looking back and when I look at old photos of me when I was 500 plus pounds I honestly think "wow who is that guy" and I can remember looking in mirrors and thinking well if I cut my beard this way I will look less fat, stretching my face in odd directions to make my face look thinner in essence convincing myself that it was just a bit of weight and things along those lines, and now I look in the mirror and just smile.

where is he going with this? I don't even know where I am going with this post, lately when I start typing out a post I just let my mind wander and 40 minutes later between putting fires out with the kiddos and making lunch or breakfast a post is here I click publish and poof another entry. what have we learned today kids? fat people are just regular people just like you who are not over weight, sometimes when you point and laugh the Gorilla turns around and charges the cage and scares the excrement out of you, and I am not vain, confident? sure, vain? nah. Thanks for reading along and I wish you success along your weight loss journey.

As Ever


  1. You forgot to mention how you admire your arms, and hands, and feet, and neck. It's not just that pretty face of yours honey. It's ok though. I love ya and all the rippling muscles, and veins that pop out, and bones that are exposed now. :)


  2. LOL! That's so funny Wify!

    Don't worry I didn't disappear off the face of the earth! I've been more busy than any other time I can remember in my life. I've been reading along everyday...haven't missed a post yet, but tonight's just the first time I've been able to reply.

    Your attitude is so amazing. You just are. It's as simple as that...you are. What are you? You are you...and nothing more or less, just you. And like in a zen kind of way. You have found yourself my friend!

    Keep up the great work!

  3. I think I've always been able to tell you were a cocky kind of dude. In the beginning, just a little. More of a confidence that I truly admire, and think that everyone should have. Your parents did a good job with you! ;) Now, I know you are cocky! Not cocky in a "he's such a "jerk" kind of way, but cocky in a "he's got his s**t together, and he fears nobody.....and he probably smiles at himself in the mirror a lot." LOL!! :) It's a good thing, and I'm glad to hear you admit it!
    Wify: What you said totally cracks me up! Sounds so much like my husband - - or at least the way he was a while back, and not as much now. If he loses pounds, though, you'd think he'd climbed Mount Freakin' Everest! HAHA! Your man is inching his way closer and closer to being able to say that he has dismissed 150 pounds this year, and I think that is DEFINITELY something that is worth being a little extra-cocky over! I love how you guys are such great support for each other. I think the rest of us married folk out here should really strive to support each other the way you guys do.

  4. correction: "...If he loses FIVE pounds now, you'd think he'd climbed...."

    Sorry about that. Forgot the 5. :D