Talking like a fat person...

Todays post is a little later than usual for a weigh in day post, My Mother flew in from California for a visit so I have been tied up but I did want to get on and post up the progress for the week, I hopped on the scale this morning and it said 389.4lbs and I am happy with the number, thats a 4 pound drop for the week and the exercise has paid off. speaking of exercise I have not ridden the bike since Tuesday, but I have gone on a few walks including one this morning (about 1/2 mile just to let my daughter get a ride in on her new bike) but I plan on riding the bike today so I will update the new deficit tracking section on the page after I do that. my intake has been very good this week and I am averaging 1630 calories per day so I am happy about that.

This Suzuki GSX400 weighs in at 389 pounds.

This SD Mini PPCg weighs in at 145 pounds which is what I have lost so far.

This week has been a good one where weight loss is concerned, I got my juju back, I am back on the bike and things are headed in a good direction and I firmly believe that keeping a positive attitude about losing the weight and submitting to the fact that it HAS to be a lifestyle change and NOT a diet is key in my success to date. I have in the past had people tell me that I am doing this whole weight loss thing wrong, mostly in the area of my intake calorie amounts, I was told that I am not eating enough and that I will not lose weight eating 1500 calories per day despite a doctor telling me this is what I should do, that was 100 pounds ago. here I am 145 pound less than I was 8 months ago and still there are naysayers and disbelievers around, all I can do is smile at the fact that I have lost 145 pounds and counting. If I were failing at this weight loss thing I could see where someone could want to pop in with an opinion and maybe steer a fella in the right direction but how do you tell someone that has lost 145 pounds on his own without any surgery or pills or anything at all besides raw willpower and discipline that they are doing it wrong? weight loss is a matter of K.I.S.S (keep is simple stupid) eat less, move more, stay hydrated and in control and waddya know? 145 pounds gone, yes it is that simple.

I think when people get over weight that they start making excuses for why they cannot lose weight, or start the blame game to try and justify why they are heavy and unmotivated, it makes me think of something my wife has said recently in normal every day chat when the subject has come up she says "thats talking like a fat person" (she has a friend that is happy about her weight loss and yet somehow annoyed that she is doing so well) and what she meant when she said talking like a fat person is that when you are fat (yeah I will use the word fat we ain't all PC around here) you tend to make excuses for why you should be able to eat the way you do and still lose weight, yet these are the same people that are ALWAYS on a "diet" of some sort and never seem to hit their goals. "all I need to do is drink more water" welp then why don't ya? "I can drink as much diet mountain dew as I want, it is after all diet right?" ummm nope, "but I just had a tiny bite, so I won't count it" good luck with that!, "I just need to stick to it for 2 whole weeks and I will lose it" really? that easy? have at it then! and I speak from experience with some of that! but no more is that me or the way that I think and that is why this is working for me, here I am losing weight regularly and I feel great, who wouldda thunk? Nothing tastes as good as thin feels, I AM going to find out if thats a true statement, even though I already know the answer.

Stop talking like a fat person!

As Ever
Me

Rode hard and put away wet.

First things first, last night around 12:30 am as I walked through the kitchen to use the bathroom the bag of Jax on the table called to me and I grabbed a handful out of the bag and munched them down, upon leaving the bathroom I grabbed another handful and thought to myself "why are you taking these" but alas by the time I had come up with an answer good enough to make me want to put them back they were gone and orange finger tips were mine, then I thought "wow that was a silly move mister worked out like a demon today" so I decided that I will add the calories to my todays intake number since technically I did eat them after mid night so thats the confession for the day, its all about accountability so there you have it.



Onto the exercise, I started out the day with the thought that I would try and get 2 rides in on the bike, one in the afternoon and one in the evening and roughly around one or two pm I rode for 25 minutes and went into a calisthenics routine afterwards and was feeling good, then I went out with wify and we ended up walking around for about an hour or two so my afternoon had movement for sure, then it was back to the house for dinner and after dinner I asked "hey wanna go for a walk?" sure thing she stated and off we went, it was not an epic walk but just about 1.7 miles and I came home and thought "now I don't have to ride the bike a second time" yet 20 minutes later there I was on the bike pedaling away for another 20 minute ride so all in all it was a pretty active day exercise wise and this morning I have that rode hard and put away wet feeling going on and I am a little sore all over.

Intake came in at 1690 calories not including the late night er..um... ok I will call a duck a duck, Binge, and was pretty decent as far as what I ate as well and it was spread out through out the day pretty good, take a look at the menu for yourself.

08/27/08

Breakfast
8:30 AM
2 Multi-grain english muffins 200
1 serving Turkey pepperoni 70
2 wedges laughing cow 70
sliced tomato 10

Lunch
12:30 PM
1oz jax 140

2:30 PM
4 slices light Italian bread 160
2oz low fat Mozz cheese 160
1 serving turkey pepperoni 70
light parm cheese 10
pizza sauce 30
jalapeno 5

Dinner
6:30 PM
2 cups home made soup 300
1 cup white rice 200
sour cream/salsa 25

8:45 PM
1 pear 90
1 peach 70

9:30 PM
1 dannon light and fit yogurt 80

Grand total of 1690 calories and then a late night snack which will be added to todays intake number and I will be on the bike for at least a 20 minute ride at some point today but I will be up late because my Mom is flying in from LA for a visit and her flight gets in at mid night so I don't want to over do it today so a single 20 minute ride will have to suffice for today and another post comes to an end.

Carry on...

As Ever
Me

Exercise, a recipe and deficit tracking has begun.

Today is the day after the second day that I am back in the exercise game and I will say that I am glad that I am back to doing it. I only got to ride once yesterday for 20 minutes, its just how it worked out and I almost did not do it but wify said "just do it you know you will regret it if you don't" so I took her advice and rode and then added 70 push ups and that was that. I have added a column on the left side of the page to show the deficit tracking and I don't know what I will shoot for this first week, I want to see what I end up with by the end of the week and then set a goal slightly above that for next week, I do think that I want to go for 3500 calories burned in a week but I don't want to jump in head first without an idea what that is. calories for the day were right where they should have been coming in at 1690 total, and I will continue on a 1700 per day goal for a while more and see where it goes. I also wanted to post a sort of recipe which is really nothing more than a pile of pizza like ingredients that I have been making lately, we call them pizza pockets round here and they came about because I remembered that we had a sandwich maker in the cabinet, I needed something for lunch and well yeah that was that, here is what you will need.

Sandwich maker
Light Italian bread (4 slices)
Low fat Mozzarella cheese (2oz)
Light pizza sauce (2-3 T)
Turkey pepperoni (30g)
Sliced jalapeño (4-5 slices)
Light parm cheese (just a shake)
Garlic powder
Black pepper
Olive oil cooking spray

This has got to be the simplest thing in the world and is pretty self explanatory as to what happens next but here goes, and I do have a piling order. start by spreading the sauce on all four slices of bread and then shake a small amount of garlic powder and the light parm cheese on each slice of sauced bread. Next put about half of the shredded mozz cheese onto two of the slices of bread and then chop the jalapeños up and spread them evenly over the same slices with the cheese, next layer the Turkey pepperoni evenly over the cheese and then add another small shake of parm cheese and black pepper, finish it off with the remaining mozz cheese and top it off with the other slices of sauced bread. give the sammy maker a very very light spray of the olive oil cooking spray, place the 2 sandwiches into the sammy maker wait until the green light comes on indicating that they are cooked and bamn! spicy Jalapeño and pepperoni pizza pockets and all for a total of 435 calories. My wife substitutes mushrooms for the jalapeño and you can basically use your favorite kind of pizza toppings, these are very customizable and 2 sandwiches make 4 pockets which is very filling to me as a meal.

I will try and get on the bike today for two 20 minute rides for a total of 40 minutes of cardio, and I will do as many push ups as my wrist allows, I did not mention this but for whatever reason the push ups are making my left wrist a bit tender so I am watching that. I am approaching one of my goals which is to have lost 150 pounds, as of last Fridays weigh in I have lost 141 pounds and as of this morning its a bit more than that and my body is really starting to show the weight loss, in positive as well as negative ways. the positive is obvious, I am thinner, I am more healthy and I am back in a big way, now the negatives I am not so enthusiastic about and the issue of loose skin is becoming more apparent lately, I can't help but worry about how it will be remedied when the time comes. it looks like surgery is really the only way to fix it and its not a procedure covered by insurance (unless problems come of it) and its way expensive, so this weighs on me a bit with my recent visits to the mirror where I am seeing some of the damage that I have done with the weight gain. Oh well thats a fight for another day I think and all I can do is to keep doing what I am doing and maybe it will tighten up a bit more as time goes by, and for todays post in the words of porky pig, Thats all folks!

As Ever
Me

He's Back!!!

I'm Back!!! I took a ride on the stationary bike last night to test my lungs out and 20 minutes later I was sweating and happy that I was back on the bike, the first couple minutes I was thinking that I may have lost my love for it but then something kicked in and I was pedaling away and 20 minutes seemed to come too fast and I was done, so I hopped off and did 30 push ups in sets of ten just to get back into it and I woke up this morning and am full of energy. so the plan is to get on the bike again this afternoon and possibly again later tonight because I split the rides up as to save my nether region from the long exposure to the crushing sensation that riding a bike for long periods of time can have and I would like to do 40 minutes. I am also going to start deficit tracking calories burned and will start off with a goal of 3500 calories burned in a week, I found an online calculator that allows me to put in my weight and which exercise was done and it estimates the calories that were burned for any given exercise or movement so I will use that to count what I have burned, I have not decided whether I will post the amount calories burned once per week, perhaps on weigh in day or if I will do it daily in my every day posts.

Intake for Sunday was good coming in at 1628, so actually a little bit lower than it should be but close enough for me to say it was a good day. my average calories for the week came in at 1583 which is again a bit low but not so bad that I am worried about it and I think considering the week I have had I did well. I am looking forward to a good loss this week and I think that by putting the exercise back in place and watching the intake that I will have just that, I am putting last week behind me and am back in full swing and all systems go.

in conclusion, I suspect that I will have a good drop in weight this week and I want to predict a 5 pound loss come Friday because of putting the exercise back in place but I will not be disappointed if I don't get that number, and thats that for todays post. Tune in tomorrow kids for another exciting episode of as the fat guy turns.

As Ever
Me

Not just a diet

Sunday afternoon has come and as I sit here I am thinking about just how much weight I have lost in these almost 8 months, 141 pounds as of Friday has been shed from my body and I am physically able to do things that I could not do just last winter, lives have been changed 100% since starting on this regimen of eating better and moving more and mine is the one most drastically changed. I eat a total of 1700 calories per day, I exercise on a daily basis a lot of the time it is more than once per day and I am hardly sitting still for more than a few minutes during any given day, jumping up to do a few sets of push ups randomly or running up the stairs to use the bathroom upstairs instead of the one that is 10 feet from me. I snack on baby carrots and an array of fruit along with sugar free Popsicles now when I feel hungry, and go for a walk when I need to relax or hop on my stationary bike and get lost in some good music. Let us now flash back to last summer, and we will talk about some of my habits from that time in my life. 1700 calories might have been the total calories of a single meal which was in a string of the same type of meals. exercise for me was to walk up the stairs to go to bed and 10 of 10 times you could find me sitting on the couch with a clicker in my hand and a half of a bag of something sitting next to me, whether it be a big bag of BBQ chips, or a bag of Doritos. a push up? in my wildest dreams maybe and the back pain that would come with all of it was just the icing on the cake, and speaking of cake there was lots of that around as well, I am reminded of a line from fight club where Edward Nortons character says "this is your life and its ending one second at a time" that was me before I decided to change my life and control what went into my body and what I did for myself in the area of health and nutrition and living a healthy lifestyle. This works for me because it is not treated as a "diet" it is not something that will be a temporary fix or the next thing that I tried to do in 2008, it is a lifestyle change plain and simple.

Stronger now than I have been in nine or more years, mentally as well as physically I can say that statement with one hundred percent certainty that it is true, nothing will stop me from reaching the goal that I have set for myself.

You met me at a very strange time in my life.

As Ever
Me

Weighing in once again I have lost a whole pocket bike.

Friday is here and the time of week to record my weight has arrived, I won't keep you in suspense and I won't try and dazzle you with anything more than the number this week which is smaller than I thought it would be but I have a theory on why, but before I get to that I have lost one pound this week and I weighed in at 393 pounds upon waking today. onto the theory, I have had an extremely stressful week (not related to weight loss so I won't bore you with the details) on Monday I weighed 390 pounds and thats when the stress came into the picture as well, I have not been hydrating myself like I normally do and lack of exercise is definitely a factor and I have not been eating every few hours, its been more like 6 hours between meals and they have been larger and not so healthy but the fact that I was 390 on Monday means that I was actually seeing losses and when the stress reared its ugly head I gained back 3 pounds but I believe that some of it is because I drank heavily last night to try and make up some of the fluid that I know I have been missing out on but it is what it is and 393 is the number that shall be recorded. Am I happy about the one pound? sure, its a pound thats not on me any more, am I satisfied with it? no I am not, I know that I could have had more of a loss but life happens and such is the way of the world. so thats the way the cookie crumbles this week and a one pound loss is realized for the week, I am not happy about it and I am not upset about it I am sort of feeling neutral.

This 2006 Yamaha R6 weighs in at 393 lbs

This X18 Pocket bike weighs in at 141 pounds which is the amount of weight I have lost so far.

You will notice that my menu is well, shitty from yesterday I had 3 meals and a tiny pear that I picked off of a tree and dinner was an Italian BMT from Subway and I did have Mayo on it, I just didn't care because its what I wanted at the time. I also had some chocolate but when I say that I mean a new phone, I picked up a new LG Chocolate 3 phone and am getting use to how it works this morning and since its a new gadget I wanted to mention it. I have been pulled in two thousand directions in the past few days and its hard to get intake into my body when I need to so its been just trying to eat when I can and make it count calorie wise, the total is 1690 calories but as you will see its 3 lump meals and that random pear, here is a look at my dismal menu from yesterday.

08/22/08

Breakfast
8:00 AM
2 cups raisin bran 380
1 cup 1% milk 110

Lunch
12:30 PM
1 can progrsso soup 120
1oz Tortilla chips 140

6:00 PM
tiny pear 40

Dinner
7:00 PM
Subway Italian bmt 900

Over all things are still going in a positive direction and I am staying on track where calories are concerned its just the execution that I am worried about, in the past few days I have eaten fried chicken strips and fries at Friendly's, an Italian BMT with mayo and cheese and lots of peanut butter and jelly and home made pizza pockets, to say that my intake is flawed this week would be putting it lightly but as i said life happens and all ya can do is what ya can do and thats what I have been doing. I have been home barely and it could have been much worse in the form of McDonalds or the likes but I chose to grab the quick meal from home most times and I always kept track of the calories, I know that when this stress blows over I will hit it it hard again and get some real numbers flying again where my weight is concerned and get a rhythm back, so Until next time thats that.

As Ever
Me

Day something...

Another week is coming to a close and I have not exercised this week at all because of this cold that I am getting over, I have had a very hectic week and have not been how do I say "on the ball" with this whole weight loss thing, I am not saying that I have fell off of the wagon or anything its just not been the best of weeks for me all around and its translating into bad meal choices and off schedule timing on when said meals are eaten. this week I have had days where the calories were as low as 1200 and then yesterday I went over by 40 coming in at 1740 total calories and my dinner was eaten at 9:30 pm last night, I have to try and concentrate on getting my meals back on track and I may try a short ride on the bike this afternoon to see how my lungs handle it.

Physically I feel extremely strong lately, I cannot explain it other than saying I feel like I can do anything, I walk and feel the urge to run to where ever it is that I am going, a few nights ago I jumped up the stairs in my house one at a time just because, I carry my daughter on my shoulder EVERYWHERE we go and not only because she asks me but because I treat it as burning more calories, after all carrying 35 pounds up on my shoulders while I walk for 40 minutes has to count for something right? and then just yesterday I was walking through a parking lot and a car started backing up towards me and my first thought was to step up on the bumper and up and over the trunk, now whether that would have worked or not if the driver had not seen me is left unknown but the fact is that I know that I could have if need be and just 8 months ago it was not a possibility blows my mind. so this pleases me to say the least, I feel like I have my old self back and its only getting better by the day. here is my menu from Wednesday.

08/20/08

Breakfast
10:30 AM
1 T peanut butter 95
1 T jelly 50
2 slices whole wheat bread 140

Lunch
12:00 PM
1 zone bar 200

2:30 PM
chicken strips/french fries (friendly's) 750

5:00 PM
1 fudge pop 70

Dinner
9:30 PM
4 slices light Italian bread 160
2oz low fat Mozz cheese 160
1 serving turkey pepperoni 70
light parm cheese 10
pizza sauce 30
jalapeño 5

Grand total of 1740 calories for the day and that lunch at Friendly's probably was not the best choice in the world as far as nutrition and health go but it hit the spot in a hectic day an is not really what caused me to go over calories (damn fudge pop) so I am cool with the choice to have it. over all I am still on track and can't wait to start working out again and as I stated earlier I may try to ride the bike today and I have tentative plan to go to the park later today so a hike may be the result of that little outing, we shall see. Tomorrow is another weigh in and I am looking forward to see what kind of loss I pull off this week, I know there is a loss I just don't know where it will settle to by the morning. Thank you for reading and be sure to tune in tomorrow same bat time same bat channel for the results to this weeks weigh in.

As Ever
Me

Juju { You can have this. }

I sometimes think about the struggles we as heavy people go through and the fact that in society heavy people are generally looked down on because of their size and the stigma that goes with that, and what I mean is that if a 500 pound man is walking through a mall people make comments about that man and do it so blatantly as to say it out loud and within earshot of said person and thats ok with most people because it is the fat guys fault that he is fat, isn't it? even if it is their fault who is the other anonymous person to say so in a rude public manner? I will admit to being on the end of some of those comments here and there through life and some of the time they are let go, mostly when its a kid or something because thats not exactly malicious behavior as much as its just something different through child's eyes but when its an adult that says it? or a teenage kid? I have been known to turn towards them and ask them to repeat it to my face and ya know what, I have never had someone take me up on the offer, and yet this behavior is accepted by most people and no one blinks an eye to actions like that.

I am now at a size where I just look like a huge guy more than a huge fat guy and that is what I can relate to, I have always been a big guy and now that I am at a closer to normal weight, even though 394 lbs is not a "normal size" and more like Gorilla sized, it is closer and my being six foot five helps with that as well. I have "got my cockiness back" says my wife, she has been joking with me lately calling me "vain" and what not and I just think to myself "isn't that part of the point?" BUT in my defense I am not vain, just got my juju back I think. I look in a mirror now and see me looking back and when I look at old photos of me when I was 500 plus pounds I honestly think "wow who is that guy" and I can remember looking in mirrors and thinking well if I cut my beard this way I will look less fat, stretching my face in odd directions to make my face look thinner in essence convincing myself that it was just a bit of weight and things along those lines, and now I look in the mirror and just smile.

where is he going with this? I don't even know where I am going with this post, lately when I start typing out a post I just let my mind wander and 40 minutes later between putting fires out with the kiddos and making lunch or breakfast a post is here I click publish and poof another entry. what have we learned today kids? fat people are just regular people just like you who are not over weight, sometimes when you point and laugh the Gorilla turns around and charges the cage and scares the excrement out of you, and I am not vain, confident? sure, vain? nah. Thanks for reading along and I wish you success along your weight loss journey.

As Ever
Me

Weight loss Easy? That doesn't work here..

Sunday morning and I am finally feeling a bit better than I have been, actually yesterday I felt pretty good too, good enough that we went out and did some shopping for the wedding that I have to go to next weekend and I sort of hit a milestone that I had not expected at all and honestly haven't thought about. As we were walking around wify said "lets check out the mens section, who knows they may have something for ya" and me being me and not being able to shop in a "regular store" since I was about oh I don't know 18? I thought sure we can look but nothing will fit and off we went to the mens section where I ended up buying a button up shirt! this may not seem like something of a big deal to someone that can shop in normal stores but I cannot remember the last time that I walked into a store and bought anything clothing related right off of the shelf, it has either been in a "big and tall" shop or ordered out of a catalog so this is kind of a big deal to me. I am right on the size line with my pants as well, I am comfortably in a size 46 waist and most stores stop at 44 waist so I am close to being able to buy some new jeans at a "regular store" as well. the store we were in had jeans in my size but it was just not the style that I wear so I passed on the jeans for now but I bought something in a regular store! so I am a little bit excited about that.

Ok ok enough about the shirt, my intake from Saturday was very odd because we ended up out and not really in a position to get food when we should have made time and I ended up eating only 1275 calories with 85 of them coming in around mid night in the form of an orange, I don't feel hungry or anything today and I partially blame being under the weather for not having an appetite as well as the wrong place at the wrong time and not being able to get a meal in when I should have. Intake is pretty good otherwise and I am still happy with my losses and rate of loss and all of that and believe that raising my calories a bit has helped kick my metabolism into gear again.




I was thinking about how I stay driven and motivated during this entire time where I have been losing the weight and getting healthy and it dawned on me that I really don't know how I am staying driven, I don't have a go to plan or a panic switch that I hit when the going gets tough, I just keep doing what I am doing no matter the circumstances and it seems to be what has worked up until this point. I do think that having my lovely wife by my side with the same health goals in mind helps a lot, she is there to remind me when I am about to make a mistake and grab that bag of beef jerky off the rack at the store or to remind me that I wanted to ride the bike a second time on a certain day so having her there as support definitely helps but I think what keeps me on track the most is the fact that I know what I have to do and there I just about nothing that I can think of that is more important than that to me right now because if I do not correct it I might not be here to see the rest of what is important for very long, that and the fact that I believe once you can slip into a state of mind where knowing that you don't NEED the pizza or knowing that you do not NEED to eat those extra fries with dinner it becomes easier and easier by the day, and the exercise becomes an addiction, at least it has for me in the past couple months, I have been not feeling well for the past few days and I am going nuts because I want to ride the bike or go for a walk..something! anything! just sitting here is not cool! with all of that said I think it comes down to being in that State of mind and knowing no matter what, you have to stay on track because it is what must be done and failure is NOT an option, at least thats how I look at it. so maybe I stay driven because I know that I made a decision to lose the weight and I am the type of person that when I make a decision to do something I feel that I need to have the follow through to complete the task, or maybe I reflect back to the first day in my adult life that I actually felt fear when I read that a WLS came with the chance of death and until that point had came to the conclusion that it was my only option to lose weight, I don't know for sure. what I do know for sure is that I have to lose this weight, I have to be around for my wife and kiddos and I have to be around to see all of the things to come in this life and at 534 pounds I feared it wasn't going to last much longer, here I sit at 394 pounds typing out an entry on a blog that I started almost out of desperation and maybe just to put it out there even if only to strangers that I was in fact more than one quarter of a ton in weight and hoped to be embarrassed into submission, I don't know, all I knew is that something had to be done and here I am doing it. does that explain how I stay driven? again I don't know but its what came out when I asked myself that question so I guess maybe it is. There is no easy way to do this, there is no miracle pill and wishing won't make it happen either. the bottom line is that a lot of hard work and a lot of discipline will need to be found and put to use if success is to be found and staying driven is all a part of that, am I driven? Yes I am.

As Ever
Me

weighing in and a couple more pounds gone.

Upon waking this morning I feel worse than I did yesterday, I will say that first. But onto business, I hopped on the scale and it said 394.4 pounds twice so I will call it 394 and a loss of 2 pounds this week and at that I am a bit surprised I must admit. I have done no exercise as I said in my last post and upped my calorie to 1700 this week and somehow pulled off a 2 pound drop all while being sick for the past 5 days so I am happy about that. one thing I am going to for a day or two to attempt to get better faster is eat a few oranges and not count them in my 1700 calories if I can help it, maybe some orange juice as well as its always seemed to help me get better faster in the past and being sick isn't fun and worth the extra intake.

This Ducati S2R 1000 weighs in at 394 pounds.

Natalie Coughlin weighs in at 137 pounds which is not what I have lost so far I have lost 140 pounds so lets just pretend that she had a big lunch and is 140 here, mostly because I couldn't find someone or something more interesting that did weigh 140 pounds.

My intake came in at 1550 calories yesterday mostly because I wasn't feeling well and didn't feel like eating and the fact that we had a later than usual dinner so I called it a day and did not make up the last 150 calories, no worries. and with that I give you yesterdays menu.

08/15/08

Breakfast
9:00 AM
2 cups shredded wheat 380
1 cup 1% milk 110

Lunch
12:30 PM
3 slices light rye bread 120
4oz deli turkey breast 110
1 T Miracle whip 35
dill pickle 10

3:00 PM
1 hebrew national hot dog 45
1 slice light rye 40
relish/mustard 20

Dinner
6:45 PM
8oz ground turkey 320
2 80 cal rolls 160
6oz sweet potato fries 150
ketchup 20
condiments 30

Grand total of 1550 calories and a 2 pound loss this week, I'll take it, and other than being sick I guess its not been too bad a week where my weight loss is concerned but I am missing the exercise part of the equation which is not something you would have heard me mutter just seven months ago but at the same time maybe my body needed a rest and is why I am sick currently, who knows? not me, but as soon as this congestion and sore throat is gone I will be back outside hiking and riding my bike in the evenings again. This weeks 2 pound loss is great and I am constantly chipping away at the extra weight, I am looking forward to lighter days.

As Ever
Me

Did I mention that I am sick?

The title says it all, I am sick as a dog, sore throat, cough, stuffy head and feeling tired as anything and I have just been sitting around trying to feel better hence the lack of posts in the past few days. I have done zero exercise since the walk at my MIL house mentioned in my last post but I decided to keep the calories at 1700 per day anyways just because I honestly believe that I need the extra intake. things intake related are on track I did have one day where I went over by 32 calories because a beer was needed and I am not even worrying about going over by 32 on one day, I have stayed off of the scale so I am not sure how it will look in the morning, I am hoping for a loss of course but with the week that I had I am not expecting anything and I know that the smaller guy inside me will tear his way out because it is already happening, even as I type this.

Natalie Cauglin.

I have been watching as much of the Olympics as I can and told my wife that I want to start swimming, swimming being what is keeping me interested in watching right now. My wife was a competitive swimmer from age 6 to 18 and it has always impressed me with the way she swims, when wify is in the water is when she looks the strongest to me and well if I am being honest its hot, so I think part of my interest stems from that as well, in fact I will admit to having a bit of a lets call it a crush on one of the swimmers this year Natalie Coughlin and someone brought it to my attention that there is a resemblance between my wife and her and I wonder if thats where it comes from, but enough about that. I think a lot of people watch something like the Olympics and get motivated and its doing just that to me because I know that I will start swimming soon enough, one because its a great way to get Cardio into a day, two I am not really what you would call a strong swimmer, I can swim just not as good as I would like and three it is something that wify could/would get into more if it were to happen. so to sum that up I am enjoying watching the Olympics this year and I am actually getting motivation from it so though I am sick I am enjoying myself.

I have to admit that I have a bit of cabin fever because of being sick and I am just pining away to go out on a hike or a long walk or something and its been beautiful here in New England the past few days so its doubly frustrating to be under the weather. I mentioned that I was going to start deficit tracking this week but with the not being able to workout I was not able to start it but as soon as this cold or whatever this is passes I will jump right in there. did I mention that I am going nuts for a hike or something? oh yeah I did...

I plan on weighing in tomorrow morning and getting a weigh in post up fairly early so look for that and I hope to have a loss or at least stay the same as last week but I would not be surprised at a small gain just because I upped the calories and the exercise was non existent this week, we shall see, Thanks for reading along while I drop a whole person from my body.

As Ever
Me

How about a magic trick?

Lately I find myself thinking about how things were 7 months ago and earlier when I weighed 138 pounds more than I do now and the things that I couldn't do then back then, and more so I think about the things that I can do now compared to that time in my life. over the weekend as I took a walk with wify and the kiddos I found myself thinking back to last summer and how I could not make a 1/4 mile walk to see a broken bridge, and I have mentioned that day in this blog before but I feel that it is one of the moments in my life that made me really think about just how over weight I was so it sticks in my thoughts, anyways we were walking around a lake that is close to my Mother in laws house and ended up walking for two and a quarter miles so just about two miles further than that attempted bridge walk last summer and it dawned on me what I had accomplished, here I am walking more than 2 miles and I have zero back pain, I am not out of breath and the only thing that was a slight annoyance was a small spot on my foot where my sneaker was rubbing because I had on old socks that have thinned a bit and then Sunday we had a sitter and decided to go see a movie, we went to see The Dark Knight (which was a great movie) BUT the worry that I had was the theater seats, I had never been to this place and was worried that they would not have the seats where the arm rest lifts up so I was thinking about how this may just be a very uncomfortable couple hours worth of fidgeting around trying to enjoy the movie and when we got there indeed the seats arm rests did not lift up "here we go" I thought to myself as I ran up (yes I ran up the stairs) to the back row, sit down and wow I thought its not the most comfy thing in the world and I will admit that I was wiggling around a bit but I was able to sit in the non movable arm rest style theater seats which to many people may seem like a so what kind of thing but I honestly can't remember the last time I was able to go to a movie that did not have the arm rests that lift so this is a good thing. I have come a long way in the past few months and it was a lot of hard work and a lot of retraining myself to not look at food as anything more than fuel for my body, with the occasional treat of course but thats the key to losing weight I am finding, it is a very simple formula of eating enough to fuel your body without leaving an excessive reserve, who wouldda thunk?

Ok now for that movie and only because it was so good I feel like a review is in order, I will admit that I went in thinking it was going to be a good movie because all of what I have heard and I heard a lot of people all say that it was a good flick but Man! it was awesome. Heath Ledger was amazing in it and thats the part that I thought was all hype before going to see it for myself, I thought that because of his death that he was being hyped, now that I have seen it myself I can say that he did an excellent job in that role and I was already a fan of his because of the movie "A Knights Tale" its sort of one of the movies that makes me think of my wife because we both love that movie so much. from his magic trick in the beginning of The Dark Knight straight on up until a Nurse with a silencer He really did have the crazy motherfuc... role nailed down perfectly, I absolutely loved him in this flick it is truly a loss to the world of movies that he passed. I highly recommend that if you didn't see this movie that you do so.

How about a magic trick? Ta-daa!

Intake for the weekend was a bit meh, but over all I think it was not too bad I did have some take out Chinese food on Saturday (General Tso's chicken with white rice) which I do not know how many calories was in it but I don't care either, its not a terribly bad thing to have a treat now and again and thats how I look at that meal, I did have 815 calories to spare at dinner so if I went over I couldn't imagine it was by much. Sunday I hit 1700 calories on the nose, well I shouldn't say "on the nose" because I am not exactly sure how many calories were in the pop corn I had at the movies, My wife and I shared a medium popcorn during the movie and I ate about 1/3 of that (small) medium bag and we guessed it at about 200 calories after looking up a few calorie websites, so take my "on the nose" with a grain of salt. here is a look at that menu.

08/11/08

Breakfast
11:00 AM
2 cups of honey bunches of oats 320
1 cup of 1% milk 110

1:00 PM
less than half of med movie popcorn 200

Lunch
4:00 PM
2 multi-grain english muffins 200
2 wedges laughing cow cheese 70
1 serving turkey pepperoni 70
sliced tomato 15

Dinner
6:30 PM
5.5oz roast chicken breast 275
3/4 cup white rice 150
1/2 cup black beans 100
light sour cream 20

8:00 PM
1 apple 100

9:00 PM
1 fudge pop 70

Grand total of 1700 calories for Sunday and theres another day down in the trip to the half, I also wanted to mention that I am going to give deficit tracking a go, I figure with all of the exercise that I am trying to get into my days that I may as well track it and see what I am burning, it may just push me to do a bit more work which can only be a good thing so it shall be so, I will start counting today and see what I end up with by the end of the week and then set a goal for myself for next week and see how I do with it, maybe it will be something that helps me or maybe it will be something that I discard after looking at it for this week we will see. Thanks for reading and all that jazz.

As Ever
Me

Weighing in and Olympics take over the television

Today is the day that the Olympics start as well as the day that I weigh in, when I woke up I went straight to the scale and hopped on and I have a loss this week of 3 pounds, its actually more than that but I only count whole numbers usually last week I weighed 399 and this morning the scale said 396.o for the first number and then 395.4 and then 395.6 so I will call it 396 for the weight this week so a 3 pound drop from last week and I have finally kicked 399 to the curb for the first time in 2 weeks and I have to admit I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders no pun intended. this is with me upping my intake by 200 calories per day and exercising more consistently and I hope to see another drop for next week but thats getting ahead of myself and I am just glad to see 399 gone for now.

This GS500F weighs in at 396 lbs

and This chunk of meteor weighs in at 138 lbs which is how much I have lost so far

Intake was good for Thursday coming in at 1653 total calories and I had to eat a Zone bar around 8pm to get all of them in but I don't mind that as Zone bars taste awesome. and I did get some movement in on my stationary bike, I rode for 25 minute in the am and then again last night for another 20 minutes so 45 total minutes and it looks like rain again for today so the bike will be how I get my workout in today as well and I want to have it completed before the Olympics start tonight o that I can relax while watching the opening ceremony. here is the menu for Thursday.

08/07/08

Breakfast
8:30 AM
2 slices whole wheat bread 140
1 T peanut butter 95
1 T Grape jam 50

10:30 AM
1 pear 85

Lunch
1:00 PM
Tuna/pasta smart ones meal 250
1.5 oz pretzel sticks/mustard 163
dannon light and fit yogurt 60

3:15 PM
1 pear 85

Dinner
5:45 PM
2 cups home made soup 300
2 multi-grain english muffins 200
1/2 T Smart balance spread 25

8:30 PM
1 caramel zone bar 200

Over all I am pleased with my progress in the last 7 months and will continue on with the current plan of 1700 calories for another week, and if I lose again next week 1700 will become the normal intake amount and I will keep the exercise where it is because I can 100% feel myself getting stronger by the day where my endurance is concerned, and that wraps up another weigh in day and 3 more pounds gone. Thank you for following along and as always kids, tune in again same bat time same bat channel to find out how the good fight goes.

As Ever
Me

Day CCXXX

Deciding to up my calories to 1700 per day because I am exercising more regularly as well as more intensely still has me thinking about my weight and how it is not coming off all too fast the last few weeks. I am not concerned really just more interested in whats happening and what has changed to make the weight drop slower than it has been, and only because it seems to be sudden. I have been doing well with the switch over to 1700 calories but still feel like I am eating just to make up those calories but thats ok I don't mind too much.

I hope to see a drop in weight this week as I am tired of seeing 399 pop up there each morning, and I need to see a difference for the work I have been putting in lately. I got a 25 minute ride on the bike in Wed followed with 60 push ups and called it a day, we are expecting Thunder storms this afternoon so it looks like it will most likely be a bike ride today unless weather holds out and then I may go to the park with the kiddos. intake for yesterday was pretty much right where I wanted it besides the fact that I was more than 100 calories lower than my 1700 target coming in at 1595 for the day and here is that menu.

08/07/08

Breakfast
8:30 AM
raisin english muffin 90
1 T Grape Jam 50

10:30 AM
6oz sweet potato fries 150
ketchup 20

12:45 PM
1 Caramel zone bar 200

Lunch
2:00 PM
1 can of tuna 150
2 80 calorie rolls 160
1 T Miracle whip 35
1 dill pickle 10

Dinner
5:45 PM
2 Gortons fish fillets 340
3/4 cup white rice 150
2 servings brussel sprouts 90
salsa/light sour cream 30
ketchup 20

8:30 PM
1 apple 100

Grand total of 1595 calories and thats good enough for me. This morning I hopped on the scale and it did show a slight loss and I am hoping that it stays for tomorrows weigh in but I am not counting my chickens before they hatch and will hold off on sighing that sigh of relief that I dropped below the mystical number of 399 that has attached itself to my scale until it has done so in a permanent way. I will try and eat a little light today but stay within calories in order to try and coax the scale down a bit this week and what I mean by eat light is lighter foods, lots of veggies and I think I will make soup for dinner which will be fitting if the rain comes rolling through. and with that another entry on Ye old blog is here and I thank you for reading along and I especially want to thank everyone that has left supportive comments for me. so Thanks.

As Ever
Me

Now a word from our sponsor...a post from Wify

So like I said I had asked my wife to write a post a couple weeks ago and she has been working on it for a while now and she finished it so I thought I would post it up here for anyone that cared to read it. some of what she wrote is personal but when I asked her to write it I told myself no matter what she writes thats the post, she said to me when she gave it to me "just edit out what you don't like" but I don't want to do that because this is what she wrote and I don't like censorship. so here it is exactly as she wrote it.

As Ever
Me


I was never one caught up on looks. I learned at an early age, even a really cute guy can be jerk. So what was the point? It became apparent to me, appearance didn’t mean anything. Unlike my highly competitive step-sister, who made it very clear she didn’t agree with my appearance, or my friend’s appearances. My opinion of her pretty face helped prove my point.

If I had to think about it, High School is where I would start. You know when the hips start to grow and the curves become appealing to most. I swam 20 hours a week, plus competition on the weekends. I weighed in at 160 lbs, with a 28 inch waist, and did I mention curves? Though my mother did her best to provide a balanced dinner, I lived half the time at my father’s house, where I split a box of pasta with my step-sister every night. My breakfasts were bagels, and my lunches were French Fries. I drank soda day in and day out, and candy bars and ice cream were my favorites.

After High School, swimming stopped. I gained 10 lbs. Being poor probably prevented me from gaining 30. I don’t think I realized until then, that you can survive off of Ramen Noodles! Those days moved quickly. I don’t remember much of it. But I remember the scale going up.

I fell in love with my husband on the phone. I was tired of B.S. and really just wanted someone to talk with. Finding someone to listen is easy. But finding someone to talk to…that’s different. And he and I had it! At this point I weighed 180 lbs. I was slowly gaining weight, but I wasn’t concerned. I knew he was a big guy. I kind of liked that. I felt safe around him. I don’t think being a big guy was the only factor. He really cared about me, and I knew if I was in trouble, he would be there for me. (Not that I was the kind of girl that got in trouble a lot ha ha).

It wasn’t long into our relationship, when Tony hurt his back. We were still learning who we were together. We were still splitting our bills 50/50. We still didn’t have a refrigerator in our apartment! The injury definitely rocked the boat. By this time, I was weighing in at 190 lbs. The stress we both carried during the worse of his injury, pushed us to find comfort in food. Treats were common. Pasta was more common because it was cheap, and if we ate it all, we wouldn’t have to put in the cooler with ice in it. Burger King was a regular meal, since at that time they were selling $0.99 cheeseburgers. I wasn’t too concerned about my weight. That Christmas, we were able to buy a video camera (and we finally had a refrigerator). One day that spring, we went to the park and Tony was video taping the kids playing on the playground. He got me going down the slide with our son, which I felt the slide was a little tight, but thought, oh well. I was wearing overalls, which I used to love wearing with a tight shirt; I always thought I looked super cute as a tom-boy with a girl flare. He also got a couple shots of me walking away. Then about half way through the video, he zoomed in on another woman’s butt. Normally, I wouldn’t care. Normally, I would have slapped his arm and moved on. Normally, I would have found a way to get him back! But not this time. I just remember how fat I looked in my clothes, and how big and retarded I looked going down that slide, and how much bigger my butt was compared to that other woman. I ran outside and cried. I don’t know if he knew, but I was hurt. I was mad that I had gained so much weight. And I was confused about how it even happened. My eating habits have been the same as they always were. But here I was hitting 200 lbs!

Our wedding day was quickly approaching. We both tried Aitkin’s Diet. It worked! (for awhile) I remember Tony walking into his aunt’s house and wiggling his pants off because they were too big. We were all so happy to be losing weight. I don’t remember my weight, but I think by the time we got married I weighed 190lbs. By the time we got home, I gained it ALL back. Tony got sick one day and felt he needed the carbs, and Aitkin’s was out the door.

You make excuses up as you go. Everyone says you gain weight after your married. The jewelers even tell you to buy a larger ring. Tony’s back injury soon became weight gain, and weight gain became his back injury. It was hard to determine the difference between the two. He couldn’t work out like he used to because his back hurt. His back hurt because he was gaining weight on top of his injury. His identity was getting lost. He would reminisce about hiking, and running, and working out with the boys. He had already decided those days were long gone. Decisions to go out were based on his comfort level. Restaurants were a big issue. Never mind the food had to be good, and portions large, but the seating arrangements had to be made. We barely went to the movies. And concerts, sporting events and the like were out of the question. Some days he would push through it. I remember one time, we went Trick or Treating with the kids on Halloween. The family wanted to walk to a nearby neighborhood to get the best candy. We discussed for probably 15 minutes whether we should drive or walk. Tony wanted to drive over. I backed him up, but the rest of the family wanted to walk. We ended up walking. About 2 blocks in, Tony was leaning on me for support. An extra block out was filled with dread because of an extra block back. One whole block didn’t have any Treats, and we felt like it was a huge waste. And though my memory isn’t that clear, I’m pretty sure that excursion had Tony laid up for a week after.

I tried to lose weight in the past 5 years. Weight Watchers, Exercise, counting calories (though the wrong way), and low/no carbs. I would fluctuate in weight, seeing some success, and then losing all hope by gaining it back. By the time I had our daughter, I weighed in at 249. What could I do? Every time I went to the store, a request for a “treat” was made, and I happily obliged. We worked together at getting fat. I bought a Ford Focus, and it soon became the plight of every outing we had. That was the only time I drove with Tony in the car, because it just wasn’t comfortable with the shifter digging into his leg. We stayed home often, finding comfort in TV, Rented Movies, and Video Games.

I started to push Tony to look into surgery. I felt it was his only hope. I had been hinting at it here and there, but the subject always got dropped. I was afraid for him (blatantly ignoring my own health issues) and I kept asking him to see a doctor, do some research, talk to some of our friends and family that have gone through it. Anything! I know it was getting to him. But I’m glad he found out the things he found out. It was a long process. Close to a year. He kept looking at all the different procedures, and all the side effects. He would come up with an excuse, saying “I don’t want to take vitamins all of my life.” And I would retort, “Do you want to take blood pressure medicine all your life?” Then he came across a side effect he couldn’t accept. Death. I felt like it was hopeless. Couldn’t he see, he was heading there anyways? It may not be this year, or the next. But if he kept gaining weight, things were not going to get better. A few more months went by, and a lot more research happened. And then he announced, on the eve of 2008, that he was going to count calories. I honestly don’t even think I heard him. I went out that night to get a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for both of us (each!) to ring in the New Year. I promptly sat down and ate mine. He put his away. The next morning, I made him his regular coffee with lots of milk and lots of sugar. He asked me how much of each I put in the coffee, and I didn’t understand the question. Then he said, “I’m counting calories, so I need to know.” I thought, “Oh, he really meant that?” So the next day, I joined him.

To say I have my husband back is an understatement. It’s more like; I have my boyfriend back since he’s more like when we met, then when we got married. He’s lost more than just weight. He’s lost a whole personality that was affecting the whole family. He lost the guy who just wanted to stay home and let life pass by. He lost the guy who felt a video game was easier than a trip to the park with the kids. He lost the guy who had very little control over his life. He has gained his self respect, energy, father-hood, and a happy married life.

I was thinking about how “we” have done this together. I’m down to 180 lbs and looking forward to losing more. I have supported him, tried different foods, done special grocery lists, and involved my parents so we can enjoy dinner over their house. We discuss bad weigh-in weeks and good weigh-in weeks and much more. Sometimes, though, I don’t see myself as someone who has done this with him. I view him more as my supporter. As if I were a client in a weight loss support group. I think many of you who read his blog daily has been affected by his knowledge and motivation. Imagine living with him! I’m thrilled with the changes our whole family has made, and look forward to new adventures every day.

Tuesday, Hiking a cat and a bag.

This morning the scale moved again if only slightly and an empty harbor may be to blame, and this is a good thing. so were feeling good today, and I went on a little easy hike yesterday after my last post and ended up at the park for two and a half hours between the hiking around and the stopping at playgrounds that are scattered throughout. I did some more sprinting on the uphill parts which was mostly just to see if I could do it at first but its sort of become something I do now and I think it adds a layer to the workout that doesn't have to be there but is good that it is. I did take a few photos of the area where I was but they are nothing especially spectacular as I was in a very thickly wooded area for the most part and was hiking the bottom of a huge hill so no real "sights" to photograph this time. here are a few of the pictures I that I did take, click any of them for a larger view.

This is where we entered the woods at the start of our hike.

There was a big foot sighting and I managed to snap this pic before he disappeared back into the woods, it looks like he needs a shave oh my.

This tree was lit up with sunlight and was the only one in the whole area that had sun and it looked cooler than the picture illustrates but there it is.

Same tree as above closer up.

Just a big mushroom.

A very tall pine tree, see I told ya nothing spectacular.

Intake for the day was ok but I do think I went over if only slightly, we ended up at my Mother in laws house where we had Subway for dinner but with the subways in came some Cheeto's and some wavy lays potato chips which I had a handful of I had 825 calories to spare and believe I went just slightly over with some dipping into the Cheeto's bag a time or two, all together not too shabby a day if I do say so. I would also like to mention that the cats out of the bag so to speak as far as me keeping this blog from people that I know personally, up until yesterday I had not let anyone that I know personally in on the fact that I write this blog but I was talking to my best friend yesterday and told him about it and he has the link now so hopefully he will read through a bit and see how it has been for me for the past few months, I can remember back when we were kids (it was probably late teens) and he had just lost a lot of weight and he said to me "being too skinny will always be better than being too fat" which when I mentioned it to him, he of course does not remember saying it, and back then I thought GTFOutta here man! no way I want to be some frail ass! but today if he had said that same statement I would have to agree with him and it was just one of those insignificant statements that people make that actually sticks with someone else, that someone else being me this time.

I wanted to mention that I had asked my wife to write a post that I can put up here from her point of view a while back and she accepted and tells me that she is working on it now so I will post that up when she finishes it and I think it will be interesting to see this whole thing through her eyes so I am looking forward to that, and thats all she wrote for this post and it seem like the day is off to a good start weather wise and maybe another hike is in order for this afternoon or maybe I will just hang out in the yard today and ride the bike instead for today, or maybe I will do both! we will see, Thanks for reading.

As Ever
Me

Day CCXVII

Monday morning and its beautiful outside, I find myself wondering why I am inside sitting at the lap top when I should be outside enjoying the day, ahh now I remember, because this blogging thang has been pinnacle in keeping me on track with my weight loss and plan for better health so here I sit for the time being. The weekend was decent but like my last post said I did not really get any exercise into either day barring some time walking around a mall with wify and the animals..er kids. we went to a few sporting goods stores and a few outdoors type stores looking at back packs and other random things because I want to start hiking on a more serious level, we have a lot of great places to hike in this state (the Appalachian trail for instance) and it would be a shame to not take full advantage if hiking is what I will do for exercise. I definitely need to work my way up to that trail because at almost 400 lbs I think that would be a rough one but I need to get use to walking with a back pack on again and will walk the easier more beaten paths for a good long while to recondition myself back to a strength and endurance level that will allow me to hike harder trails because right now though I am energized and eager I am very heavy and know that I am in no condition to take on a hard trail. I have hiked much of the Appalachian trail that runs through CT and into MA and NY when I was younger, some of it was when I was a boy scout (yes I was a boy scout) and some was in my very early 20's. so with that said you can see that I am finding joy in some of the things that once upon a time were things that I would do for fun.

This is one of the packs I am considering, it was $79 if I am remembering correctly and has a spot for a lap top if I wanted to use it for things other than hiking so its dual purpose.

Intake for Sunday came in pretty much exactly where it needed to at 1695 calories for the day but like my previous post mentioned there was a medium Dairy queen chocolate cone in there so it was not the best day in the world for consumption. I would also like to mention that a large freight ship left the yard this morning and that is the first one in a while, small ferry's have left here and there but the freight ship was just sitting in customs, because the customs officers were too slow all of the cargo rotted and had to be flushed away, I blame that on the fact that I upped my fiber consumption starting on Friday and will continue to do so from now on because if the ships aren't flowing freely then the harbor gets all kinds of congested and we can't have that now can we?

Over all I am still going strong but still can't help feeling like the 1700 limit will cause a gain this week, and I know its a foolish stance to take but I can't help it. I know I will be over it in a day or two and I am pretty sure that I will not gain anything and I am pretty sure that I will continue to lose so thats the outlook that I will try and keep. Now that I have a post up for today it is time to go outside and enjoy the rest of my day, I think I may go for a short easy hike with the kiddos and I will bring my camera this time and be back later hopefully with some pictures from my walk about, and speaking of pictures, I did update the picture on the top left of the page to the most recent incarnation of myself. until next time, keep on keepin on and thanks for reading.

As Ever
Me

A Sunday night Summary of a boring weekend.

Another busy weekend kept me away from the computer but I wanted to get a post up for the weekend, I upped my calories to 1700 and if I am being honest I feel terrible about it, I feel like I am gorging myself and I know that I am not but I still feel as if I am. today along with a big breakfast, though late it was big I had a medium chocolate cone from Dairy queen and regretted it later on in the day but I am over it now. I feel like this whole weekend was sort of completely off track with the intake, I did not exercise at all besides walking around the mall all day yesterday and today we went on some errands bu nothing in the way of what I consider real exercise like hiking or bike riding etc, I will give this 1700 calorie thing a week or two but somehow I don't feel good about doing it.

On a different note my wife is noticing that I am my old confident self again since dropping the weight, I smiled at her this afternoon and she said to me "I think you smile when you look at me because you see your reflection in my eyes", She caught me off guard with the comment and we had a good laugh, I have to admit that I am feeling like my old self again lately but I had no clue that I was projecting that to anyone else. we also pulled out a few old photo albums and were flipping through them looking for pictures of when we met back 9 or so years ago to compare and we came to the conclusion that I am smaller than when I met my wife (or really close anyways) so I am just a tad bit more than ecstatic about that little discovery.

Make the decision, ignore the reality of the situation or understand it and make your own choices.

So to sum the post up, I feel like my old self again and my wife can see it, this is a great thing, just trust me on that one, and I feel like 1700 calories is too much and that I am gorging myself on the extra 200 calories, yes I know that where the gorging is concerned is a ridiculous statement and that I can likely eat more than that and still lose pounds BUT since I have been eating 1500 for the last 7 months it is a change and a change in an upward direction so it feels off is all, and I can't help but think about people that I have read about with eating disorders etc and can't help but understand a little how they can get there even though they weigh nothing but feel like they are eating too much. I have learned how to eat to live and not live to eat in the last 7 months and eating is nothing more than fueling my body so that it can live and keep me moving and not eating comes easy these days..but yeah, I can see where if someone let themselves get absorbed it could become a problem. No worries here thats not happening I just thought I would mention it because it was a thought I had earlier today. Thanks for reading my ramblings once again, and I want to leave you with this. weight loss is a decision it is nothing more and nothing less, thats not to say that its not difficult but it does come down to a decision to see the reality of the situation or choose to ignore it.

Will you choose the red pill or the blue?

As Ever
Me

weigh in day and changes needed maybe

So upon waking I know that the drop will not be big if any at all and I was right, I woke up today and am 399 lbs so no loss no gain which is better than a gain but not as good as a loss so I am neither happy nor sad about the weight today. I have to admit that I am a bit confused but I think I know exactly what I need to do as well, I have busted my ass this week exercise wise, 20-40 minutes per day on the bike and went hiking for 3 days this week and all but one was long hikes I ate well and stuck to plan for the most part and yet here I am weighing the same as I did last Friday? what gives? I think that with me stepping up the exercise I need more calories in my day, I only do 1500 calories per day right now but I have done that from day one and am down 134 lbs so I figured why mess with it but the last few weeks have been odd, I will lose 4-6 pounds one week and then stay even the next and this has been the case for about a month and a half so I do believe that its time to start playing with calories to see if I can jump start the losses again. I am a bit weary about doing this at this weight only because I have crossed that 400 pound threshold and I would hate to pop back above it even if only for a minute but I think I at least need to try upping the calories a bit just to see what happens, I guess I could always stop some of the exercise but I don't want to do that because the benefits of the exercise out weigh keeping the calories lower. with that said I will start eating 1700 calories on the days that I exercise and stick to 1500 calories on the days that I do not and see what that does for me.

Intake for Thursday was good coming in at 1425 calories and I found my new favorite treat, Popsicle brand sugar free ice pops, these were bought for my kids but I tried one last night and ended up having 3 because I had the calories, it was weigh in day today and I figured its just liquid, anyways the flavors are Tropical fruit and I can hardly taste that they are sugar free and they are only 15 calories each. over all I am happy with how things are going even though there is not a loss this week, I know that I have done my body some good this week with all of the movement that it has seen and I am getting stronger by the day, meaning my endurance is picking up and I mean way up from where I have been. the combination of losing 134 pounds, putting the right foods into my body and the fact that I actually exercise now is to blame for my current fitness level and it can only get better from here I suspect.

In conclusion I am a bit weary of upping my calories and I am moving into a territory that I have not ventured into since starting this weight loss regimen and that is upping my calories, I have stuck with 1500 calories throughout this entire time and it has worked so far but I think with the additional exercise that I should change things a bit and thats the plan so we shall see where I end up in a couple weeks. My only reservation is that I am 399 pounds and can possibly go back over the 400 mark by changing things around, but then again I can gain however the day goes so with that the new change will start today, I will eat 1700 calories starting now and hopefully the weight will start dropping and the boats will begin to launch again on a regular basis. I will not post a photo this week because I did not lose anything so it would be the same pic as last week, as always I thank you for reading and following along with me and my journey to a smaller fellow.

Editing to add that after looking back at my posts I was 399.8 and 400.0 pounds last week and this week was 399 on the nose this week so it is actually a 1 pound loss for the week.

As Ever
Me