Today marks the fifth year to the day since I started writing this blog, when I began this journey I was a 534 pound man that had not many options as far as what he could do physically and things felt pretty hopeless when weight loss was the subject matter. I had worked my way down to a low weight of 305 pounds "new low its weigh in day" in May of 2010 and then leveled off at around 320 pounds and stayed there for a bit while I honed my bicycle riding skills while falling in love with cycling once again. The yoyo game which many of us call weight loss/dieting began sneaking into my way of life as I got more comfortable, this is something that I noticed so I took measures to counteract it. I ate mostly whole foods, stuck to my low calorie high nutrition eating plan which was working but I came up to roughly 330 pounds as cycling became a huge part of my life everything was awesome in my world as far as health went.
I have mentioned in this blog in the past that there are some stress points in my day to day that I cannot do anything about and will not talk about in this blog but have worked through them the best that I could, most of the time I am able to keep my Diet/Health/Workouts out of the way but many times its a turning point for me and I found myself "stress eating" because of it. Yes yes, get over it fat boy, figure it out and work around it... if only it were that easy. June 2011 I was doing awesome again, that unstoppable kind of awesome, my weight had stablized around 330 pounds again and I was on a warpath to get under that mythical line in the sand that I had drawn so long ago..299 pounds. An extremely stressful day became so much worse when I learned that I had lost my mother, I was in California less than 24 hours later to be with family and handle all that comes with that and held my own with staying mostly strict while there.
Slowly but surely I put weight back on, the loss of my Mom impacted me as it would anyone but what it meant for me was weight was coming back on and I did not know how to get back into a mindset that would allow me to be successful with my health program. The day that I learned about my mom I weighed 339 pounds and had written this post "you fat fuck" earlier in that day and was on a roll with getting my shit back together as far as my health went. Today as I write this I am unsure what I weigh because my scale in the house is broken and I haven't cared to replace it yet but I am fairly certain that I have crossed out of the 300's even if only by a couple pounds. The fact that I allowed myself to slip back so far after beating the hell out of myself and getting down as far as 305 pounds pisses me off to no end.
For the past few weeks I have been getting myself back into the better eating thing once again and while I feel better as I said I need to get a new scale before I know an exact weight to see just how far I allowed myself to slide backwards. I cannot and will not blame anything or anyone but myself for the backslide and have to remember that I am human and will screw up, we all do but making my way back down the path and reaching a healthy weight that lets me live how I want to live must be a priority for me. As hectic as my life has become I am going to try to write here as often as I possibly can as I believe this blog was a major part of my previous success, having a place to draw on my own words and feelings as things change is an awesome tool for anyone.
I am planning on posting my weight as soon as I have it and going back to my oldschool style of posting a weight with objects that weigh what I have lost each week etc, any of my old readers will understand this but the visuals are amazing motivators!
Five years ago I decided to change my life for the better and I have by leaps and bounds, this is just another chapter in that story and I hope that you will follow along and cheer me on or tell me to buck up and get a workout in, either way here we go...
As Ever
Me
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.
ReplyDeletePut yourself first now. You are writing the next chapter - make it a good one.
I'm sorry about your Mom. I know after my dad died in 2006 it was a downward spiral for me for a while. Please keep writing! I enjoy reading your blogs. I know that you'll be able to get back in your groove. Just keep going.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences on the loss of your dear mom, it is one of the toughest losses of all. I look forward to reading your ever-inspirational updates as you post them! Always loved the scenic pics from your bike rides as well, keep them coming as soon as you're out and about again. Great to hear that you're back on track again!
ReplyDeleteHI Zeus- long time reader just new name. Glad to see your back. I'm sorry you've hit a rough road but this too shall pass. You be back on top in no time. :)
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your mom. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. Please know that even with some weight gain, you've already come so far and you are an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your mom. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. Please know that even with some weight gained back, you've already come so far and you are really an inspiration! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteYou have dealt with a huge loss. So sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom. Now it's time to take care of you.
ReplyDeleteNew reader here, excited to see your journey's next leg begin. I was 540 at my heaviest, so I can definitely relate to a lot of what you've posted. Very sorry for your loss of your mom but proud to see you get your head together to get back in this "game."
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ReplyDeleteI found you through Tony and I want to say thank you. I lost my mother this past year and put back on everything I had lost. Reading this, I wanted to cry because someone else had been there too and is there now. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I'm at welcomingweightloss.com if you ever want to say hi.
ReplyDeleteCongradulations on your journey. I'm so sorry that you lost your mom, it sounds like she meant a lot to you. What would she wish for you? As a mother, my guess would be that she would want you to be happy and content with your life. People mean well with comments like "a moment on the lips is forever on the hips". Unfortunately it's no help. Each person has their own reason for what happened to make them gain the weight (stress, babies, not walking, parties) but we often forget how free and flexible our life and bodies were before the gain. I'm 55 now and have to loose weight for the 3rd time in my life. First was being pregnant and second was an injury to my lower back. I stopped driviing and took the bus instead and stairs instead of the elevators. Last I stopped eating pastries for breakfast. Less than a year later I went from a size 16 to a 5. My situation was unique because I was living in a huge city in the far east and taught ESL 6 days a week. I would come back to base for my son's games and practice in between classes. All of my classes were in apt buildings that were at least 20 floors. Point is I kept very busy. The 3rd time I gained weight, my thyroid crashed. Now I'm a bored housewife and don't have a busy life. After 8 hours of sleep I felt as if I were up all night long. It takes years to gain weight and so it should take time to loose. Do it for yourself first. Most of us can attribute our gain to one or two types of foods. Some of us it's sweets others it's meat, breads or pasta. Start with just one of them and walk a min of 20 minutes a day. Your liver needs that much time to burn off whatever it does and so any extra time burns excess calories. For every 3500 calories you don't eat that is one pound of fat. That's a big gulp! I love ice tea with tons of lemons now, no sweetners. Lemon tea or lemons decrease appitite naturally. I know that doesn't help when you are eating because of stress.
ReplyDeleteYour friend who posted this blog is a good person to care about you getting support. Good friends are a blessing. I wish you the best and hope you live your life in a way that makes you happy and content.
Hi Tony. My name is Tim. I found your blog because I typed into Google "Lost 200 pounds." Because of you I was able to believe I can do it; I also found Tony Ponansky's page because of you. Thanks for putting yourself out there. I live in a small town and feel overwhelmed, like I am the only one who weighs over 450 lbs., but lately I have been making some changes and I think there is hope. I will be checking here now because I appreciate the truth and honesty. What is it about guys named Tony? Sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. Take care.
ReplyDeleteCame over via the Anti Jared. Just want to send you cyber support and let you know you have my prayers. It's a mental battle... this weight loss thing we do. You have made great strides. It doesn't matter how many times we fall....only that we get back up!
ReplyDeleteKristen
You know what? All it takes is to just keep coming back and doing it all over. I gained over the holidays - I am up again at the start of the year, but I am "back on" the healthy wagon - you can do it. I'm sorry about your Mom, losing a parent stinks!
ReplyDeleteHey man, some people just knock the weight off and can fight from a position of strength... for others like you and me, we have to take the small victories and hold onto them... you'll get back... I was at 342 in 2007, went to 304# and just couldn't break thru... next thing I know, it's the end of 2011 and I'm 353# and my kids are begging me to do something... today, I'm at 300.4#, I've been down to the mythical 299# and it is sweet... so I can tell you that it's worth the fight to get here... bring it on my friend... we are here for ya.
ReplyDeleteHey man, some people just knock the weight off and can fight from a position of strength... for others like you and me, we have to take the small victories and hold onto them... you'll get back... I was at 342 in 2007, went to 304# and just couldn't break thru... next thing I know, it's the end of 2011 and I'm 353# and my kids are begging me to do something... today, I'm at 300.4#, I've been down to the mythical 299# and it is sweet... so I can tell you that it's worth the fight to get here... bring it on my friend... we are here for ya.
ReplyDelete1826 days, huh? That's how long I've been reading your blog. I'm still here and I'm glad you are, too. We can do this.
ReplyDeleteI just found you through another blog, and I think you can do it again!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I'm sorry about your mother. I read first your older posts and saw your input on the first 95 pound loss and how your mom called you so happy. So, yes, you can do it!
I went through a big depression in 2009, after my oldest friend committed suicide. I gained a lot of weight, and later got into the gym because it felt like the best way to deal with depression instead of taking pills. I lost around 30 pounds then, but I got them back.
I'm taking the healthy approach this year and I do need it. I thought of writing a blog, but I'm not sure if I will have the power to do so. I know I need the motivation, but having it in "black and white", scares me a little. So, I got myself on the scale this morning: 342# highly overweight since I'm only 5'2... but at least is less than the 360 I was last year. I want to lose 10 pounds per month and keep them out. I'll follow a bit your choices from the beginning, since they worked for you. I come back again to visit you here... so keep it up! Take care. JB