Thursday, June 23, 2011

You fat fuck you...

So where were we? that's right I was a fat guy losing weight, a Dad taking care of the small herd of children that have amassed in my house and someone that was putting it all out there for the world to see in the name of accountability via this blog. I am not limited to any of those titles but as far as whats on the surface those are up there, I have over the last few years dropped more than 200 pounds and kept most of it off for the entire time BUT I am going to admit something that I was none too happy nor proud of. In April I began to notice that some of my clothes were snugging up...ok lets just call it what it was, shit stopped fitting and I hadn't been on the scale in quite some time so it was in fact the right time for a reality check. On April 28th I decided to see what I weighed, the dim blue light lit the dark kitchen as a zero flashed across the display signaling that she was indeed ready to ruin my evening. My feet made contact with the cool unforgiving black plastic that makes up the platform of my scale as the digital dots danced around in a circle where she would stop nobody knows and bamn! 370.4 flashed onto the display.... what the shit?!

I had not seen a number that high since October of 2008! which was 10 months into my weight loss, to say that I was and am disappointed in myself is an understatement, the word failure comes to mind. There is a lot that goes on in my life which does not make the blog, some of those things keep me from making me the most important thing in my life and it is what it is, with that said I do need to keep an eye on myself and my health. That night I got Pissed, upset, and as I mentioned disappointed with myself, so I decided that enough of the bullshit and doing what I need to do must be a big part of my life and must remain a big part and since that day I have been on point with my intake. In the beginning of April a 10 mile ride just about killed my legs and ass, I am happy to say that I am back up to 25 mile trail rides on my newly upgraded with a new and improved bottom bracket and crankset bicycle. My calories are as I said on point while getting in loads of veggies and whole foods, oh I have also dropped 31...yes Thirty one pounds in the last 56 days aka since that night when I stepped on the scale.

Learning to balance all that life has to throw at us with the hardest thing that I have had to face all at the same time is just a part of the game that needs to be dealt with, making an excuse is just that an fail. Sure I have a shit ton of other fires burning that need attention but without handling the fire that is me the rest will burn out of control without me here planted with my feet on this planet. Finding time to do what I do is a priority, there will be times when it slips, there will be times when a workout is just not a possibility but if I let myself to slip back into the abyss that was my life at 534 pounds I will have let every single person in my life down including myself and that I will not allow.

Oh yeah...and those shirts that were snug? yep they fit again..

I am making every effort to get posting more regular like but time is at a premium these days, so don't be shy, drop a comment I am not so proud to not admit they help...

As Ever


  1. Inspiring; it helps to know that others slip up too; it makes ME feel more human and knowing that you bucked up and started to lose again is giving me inspiration at a point I was desperate for it. THANK YOU!

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  3. Your honesty and lay-it-all-out-there attitude is what keeps people reading. Thanks for sharing your journey and helping the rest of us along our own.

  4. i love that you are so real about what happens and aren't afraid to admit when things don't go well - it's as important, if not more, than when they go the way they should. All of us have to deal with the peripheral stuff that life throws at us (and believe me, i've had more than my share in the past year), but to be there for your family in the long run, you HAVE to make yourself a priority. Keep up the hard work and i look forward to seeing more blogs from you in the future!!

  5. We are forever moving up or down that slippery slope of Mastering a Healthy life style, each and every one of us! Thank you for this honest and humbling post. We fall down we get up....

    You are up again and climbing to the to the will finish this!

    Your kids will have a dad, your wife a husband, and you....well you will live a much richer life!

    Keep it going!!

  6. It's a constant daily battle we have to fight, glad to hear you're still fighting. I'm sure having a new baby hasn't been easy either because your time isn't your own anymore. Glad to see you back though. I do think posting helps for sure. I think putting that number out there on a regular basis helps too. Hope the scale continues to move down for you.

  7. So glad to see you blogging again!!
    It has helped me recommit to my health
    as well. Thanks for keeping it real, seriously,
    Thank You so much!!!

  8. Hey man,
    I got myself into the same situation and managed to undo a lot of the positive work I had done. Glad to see you were able to catch yourself and get back on track. I am at the point of starting fresh again and hope I can be as successful as you've been. Keep it up!

  9. I'm there too, Tony...I've crept back upward. But I can battle back and you have already shown us that it can be done!

    You were a tough-talking mentor to me when I was starting out and you are doing it again. Thanks for the inspiration. Now, kick some ass and get down below 300.

    I challenge you to get there before November 1st. That is 10 pounds per month. I'm sure you have other goals and timelines in mind, but I thought I'd offer one up just for fun.

    Big Clyde

  10. Hey ZM, I befriended you on Facebook last month and discussed my own weight loss with you. I'm getting a lot of questions on how I'm doing it, so, by your inspiration, I'm starting my own blog. I'll definitely be linking to your blog, so hopefully I can get a few more readers peeking in on you.


  11. Something I heard recently that has become my mantra...Don't let a slip become a fall. It works so well in this area of our lives. When you first were on your way down in pounds years ago...I remember you and I weighed about the same...I was holding steady at 384...I thought "I need to get with this guy who has already lost almost 150 pounds he is ROCKING the weight loss"...but I stayed at 384 while you worked your way down to I will just say you were trying to come back up to meet me (and stopped shy to give me someone to chase down the scale)...I started trying in April to drop pounds...slipped during June but am back on it...down to 352 as of last weekend...hoping to get 350 this weekend maybe a little less...Would love to have an update from you to see where you are now! My wife and I were curious about how Botzz was doing because you have been a real inspiration to both of us in our journey to be healthier for our children too. Good luck and keep us posted!

  12. Thinking of you this evening. Hope you're ok, my friend.