No bullshit, just a post.

How do you grab control when a complete shut down of the system is whats on the plate? This is the question that plagues me as I write this sentence. Once upon a time there was a fat guy that had no clue what he weighed, he was unsure about his future because of the 534 pounds that hung from his bones like an over stuffed scarecrow and fear motivated him to do something about it. Two hundred twenty nine pounds later he was a bad ass weight loss success story and was in mind and body a changed person, nothing could stop him as he pushed mountains aside to gain access to his goals and that fella was me.

I have been dealt some fucked up cards in the past half of a year and they are taking their toll on my health as far as weight loss and physical progression goes, the scale says so and my nonchalant attitude towards planning my intake for the days agrees. In addition to those cards there is a new and wonderful little girl in my life which is taking up much of my time as a stay at home dad. This makes working out as I should harder than it has been since starting down this road and I am finding it hard to work around that. I make no excuses for my lack of attention to my health plan that has worked for me up to this point but I can admit that I am having a hard time finding the strength to execute as the plan requires me to do in order for it to be a success.

I know what I need to do, in fact I have written it all down and have a recipe book to pull from ever meal that I need to create, cook and eat so that my body is fueled correctly. I know how to workout and in fact I crave it but with my current stress levels and lack of what I would call free time to get out there and bust ass, I am as I stated struggling to get back in the game as it were. Am I still riding my bike? Absofuckinloutly! that is something that I won't stop doing as its one of the things in life where I find pure joy but I am not in fact riding enough. I haven't ridden during the week in months, My only riding takes place on the weekend with a riding buddy and that's approximately 20 to 25 miles at a go which is as I said not enough.

My exercise will fall into place, I made sure of that by buying some lights for my bike which extends the times when I can ride but the exercise is not as important as one trying to lose weight might think. I believe that diet is the crucial part of weight loss/physical gain and I am not doing my part, I know this and yet grabbing it by its throat to throw it to the ground has eluded me in the past more than a few months. My weight is up, some might say significantly some might argue that its not all that significant, its more than just a couple pounds but I am still close to 200 pounds lost as I type this as a reference point and I am going to make this post the beginning of the end, the end of this not paying attention to my intake thing that's happening right now.

I posted last on June 23rd, the way that the rest of that day which will forever be significant to me...week... month has progressed is largely to blame for my HUGE lack of focus because at the time of that post I had been on track and was down about 30 pounds. The plan is to again try to post as often as possible on my blog, finding time to post will be a tad on the rough side but this blog is a huge part of why my weight loss to date has been successful, my tenacity and raw willpower plays a big part too but honestly I find that posting for anyone to see where I am at with my success/failures helps to keep me motivated.

Thanks for the email, facebook messages and comments, they help more than you know.

This post a tad random? perhaps.... but a post none the less and it begins again...

As Ever
Me