Today is one day shy of when I got a number for my weight, tomorrow will be a week but I did say that I would post my weight for today on this post so I will. I will be honest I am not feeling motivated today and its partially why the post is a little later than usual, now don't read into that unmotivated thing as I am not liking what the scale said its a loss I am ecstatic about that! When I said that very same thing to Wify she said "just start typing" so thats what I am doing.
I wanted to start off by saying that when people say weight is just a number I think that's as my grandfather would say Horse pucky, Seeing 400.4 pounds on the display instead of 3XX does not translate well in ones head. I am down 3 pounds this week from last Saturday and a loss is a loss in my book so I am happy with that, was I expecting? hoping? for more? absofuckinloutly I was but hey it is what it is. My biggest issue that I am experiencing right now is the way that I feel physically because I have to tell you 400 lbs is eons away from 350 pounds and 350 pounds is light years away from 305, I suspect that this trend keeps on going but since I have no first hand knowledge it remains an assumption for now.
BMW F800S comes in at 400 pounds like yours truly
Having gone from 534 pounds down to 305 pounds with a decent stay around 330 pounds and now back up to 400 pounds I have a good idea of how each feels on my body with very recent experiences to compare. I have to say that life is different at 330 vs 400 in so many ways and I am bothered that I allowed myself to get back up this far but it is what it is and the time to power back down to 300 has arrived.
This is my favorite view..
When I weigh 300 pounds I feel unstoppable and for the most part I am, 25 mile ride on a whim? just need enough time to air up the tires, ya say you want to hike the 5 mile loop which is mostly uphill? let me grab my boots and backpack is the way it goes. Now at 400 pounds my bike collects dust partially because I don't want to break it which is mostly a silly thought but at the same time holds some validity and a hike? shhhure as long as its the short flatter route I am game and this bothers me more than any number on the scale because hiking and riding my bicycles is my escape, my "me time" and having had the choice to do anything I wanted to physically just under a year ago and now limitations are slowly entering in again just isn't sitting well with me.
Speaking of hikes.. I was just over 300 pounds in this image sitting at an overlook at a favorite hiking spot.
There are two choices for me and my health, I can say fuck it and hop in the truck, take a ride to McNasty for a Mcrib or I can pull my big boy pants up and full on get my shit back together and get my ass back into shape. Obviously the latter is the direction that I am heading in but the thing that keeps popping into my head is where I was not so long ago riding my bikes pretty much ALL OF THE TIME and I gotta tell ya the taste that it leaves in my mouth is not a good one.
I allowed myself to gain this extra weight back, I allowed myself to slip backwards and I am the one that needs to fix it, I will not fail and I will not complain, its my life and if I want it back I need to be the one to snatch the weakness up by the throat and shake the life out of it.
And that right there is what came out when I took the advice to "just start typing..."
No one can stop me but me...