I've been thinking about blogging again

A lot has happened since I began this blog back in 2008 and now, I lost a ton of weight probably literally as well as figuratively from then to now, kids have grown up and there was even a point in which I considered a weight loss surgery (yes I put on some weight that had been lost) and here I am. I am currently heavier then I want to be and it dawned on me, hey! I wrote a blog, how about you go back and read some of it! so I have and thought I'd pop up a quick post and see if anyone was still paying attention. Truth is that these posts were always for me and the fact that some of you fine people jumped aboard and cheered me on was a bonus that I didn't think would happen in the caliber that it did and I thank you all for that! but back to me, When I was writing in this blog on a daily basis it gave me a direction to follow, an accountability factor that I almost had to adhere to else I would feel the wrath of the internet in messages and comments.

The long short of it if that's even how you say it is that I am heavier than I want to be and I decided to do something about it again, 11 years ago a Dad decided enough was enough and I dropped more than 200 pounds on my own... Scratch that because it wasn't on my own, it was with the help of a community that grew from a blog started by a fat dude along with a shit ton of hard work and  the shit ton of work is on my shoulders but this blog did in fact help me lose the weight back then and Maybe I need to include it in my 2019 run for the title and see where that gets me.

With all of that said, keep an eye out for your favorite fat dude who got a taste of the healthy life looking to make a come back. I'm not going to start off with how much weight I put back on, its not as high as when I started in 08, just know that its significant enough that it will take work again and I need to put in that work, so it begins again.

As Ever
Me

At the core of it.. weight loss for the guy I use to know

Sometimes we lose sight of things and others its like we snatch it up by it's throat and handle it immediately, then other times circumstances dictate where the boat goes and it gets me thinking...

I am who I am, and I know I stole that from Popeye but its the truth so I'll use it, but my point is that no matter the circumstances I am who I am. The environment can change and at times environments can change us but at out core we remain. I am the same guy who dropped 229 pounds like it was my job but I have gained a significant amount of that back, and lost it again then gained it back... again, and this cycle is ridiculously unfortunate and infuriating all at the same time. 

I'm capable of eating within my calories, I am capable of exercising (perhaps not up the point that I want to but I can) yet I find myself doing the opposite more times than not lately and well yeah.. I told my wife "After the 1st its on like Donkey Kong baby, I'm losing it again" now I find myself eating less but not counting like I should and I am definitely not exercising as I should be but why?

I compare weight loss/healthy living to a train rolling down the tracks and if you look above you'll see the banner reflects that as its been there almost since conception of this blog. A train takes a lot to get it rolling, chugging along sputtering and spitting making lots of noise, bellowing smoke and dragging the immense weight of itself down the tracks. Slowly but surely it gains momentum, picking up speed and it gets easier for the train to keep rolling until its up to speed and chugging along almost effortlessly, efficiently and I dare you to stop it. 

The thing about trains is that if it does derail its typically disastrous, freight all over the place, rail cars smashed and crashed and all of the momentum is lost. Talking about derailed, I started off with Popeye.. So, my point is that I am the guy that lost all that weight, I am that guy who sputtered and chugged along the tracks and I did it, I was as healthy as I have ever been in my life and well, you guessed it, derailed but I'm thinking that just because I was derailed doesn't mean that I am done for yet I think I've been looking at it that way because of all of the I will use pain for a summery kind of word as to a big part of my lack of momentum again. but I think its time, time to say to hell with it and get back on that horse because the alternative hasn't been so fun. 

At my core I am that guy, the one who loves his bikes, the guy who can hike all day and be happy about it, the very same guy who teamed up on his friend reprimanding him for eating "cloned beef" thats me and I'm tired of wearing this other guy suit and ignoring who I am at my core....

Lets get this train rolling again. 

As Ever

Me

Weigh in time and another menu.

Another day of counting down and today I weighed in so I will be reporting y losses here again as well. Lets get to the menu. 

Breakfast
2 servings pops cereal        240
8 oz 1% milk        110
       
1 Banana        110
1 T peanut butter        100
       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160
 
Lunch (if you want to call it that)           
3oz chicken breast        150
       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160
       
baked lays        120
       
Dinner
Bubba veggie burgers x 2        240
2 light hamburger rolls        160
2 slices American cheese        110
1oz baked chips        140
   
2 Dannon light Greek yogurts        160

Total 1960 calories for the day.

Not bad even though I went over again, I am losing weight so I am not worried about going over the 1800 calories just yet, if I start slowing down on the losses I will tighten up the ship and get strict.

As for the weight loss this week? another 4 pounds down from last week and if this trend keeps going I will lose faster than my goal date can get here and I'm just fine with that.

Thats all I got.

As Ever

Me

Calorie days

Another menu, another day and another pound lost (I hope) Yesterday was a bit of a struggle for some reason, I felt hungry at the end of the night but made it. I did go over by 160 calories partially because I grabbed a Greek yogurt from the fridge and didn't realize it was not a light yogurt until I took a bite and I didn't want to waste it so it is what it is.

Breakfast
2 slices light rye bread        100
.5 oz cheese        55
4oz ham        130
       
2 light Italian bread        80
2oz turkey pepperoni        140
1oz American cheese        110
               
Lunch       
2 servings pops cereal        240
8 oz 1% milk        110
       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160
       
Dinner
2 La Tortilla factory wraps        200
2oz Light cheddar        90
1/4 cup black beans        55
onion/salsa       40
3 oz ground turkey        120
2 T light sour cream        40
1/4 cup white rice        50

Oikos Greek yogurt        150
       
4 Brazil nuts        90

Total calories 1960

Still trucking along and I am hoping (there's that word again) that I see a loss on the scale come Friday, either way, I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing and see where the wheel ends up. 

As Ever

Me

No Gimmicks, just the plain and simple of it.

Another day, another post with my calories, its funny actually that this is sort of how I started off writing this blog back at the beginning of 2008, by posting my calories and menu then some random words about said things and here we are again. I do not believe in "Breakfast food" and "Dinner food" etc so you'll see I had a ham and cheese on rye for breakfast, calories in fitting into my allowances is what its about.

Breakfast
2 slices light rye bread        100
.5 oz cheese        55
4oz ham        130
       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160

Lunch       
2 servings pops cereal        240
8 oz 1% milk        110
       
1 Banana        110
1 T peanut butter        100

Dinner      
1 C white rice        200
8oz turky keilbasi        360
       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160
       
4 Brazil nuts        90

Total 1815

In addition to the calories I drink 1 gallon of green tea per day and a minimum of another half gallon of straight H2O which is more times than  not another gallon of water so I won't post my fluid intakes unless it was low for a particular day, Simple right? it is what it is and I have a goal to reach by August 1st, its on.

As Ever
Me

Day something, calorie record.

 Something not totally new, Posting my daily intake. I have been doing fairly for a bit so I wanted to share the menus from my days, for now it will be simplistic with my intake but perhaps I will start writing again, we shall see.

I allow myself 1800 calories per day currently


Breakfast
2 servings pops cereal        240
8 oz 1% milk        110

Snack    
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160

Lunch     
Applebees Steakhouse Bruschette Sirloin        530
a few sweet potato fries from wifes plate of fries        150
     
Dinner
3 light mozz cheese sticks        180
olive oil        40
2 La Tortilla factory wraps        220
pizza sauce        30
diced peppers/onions       20
parm cheese        20
1/2 oz pepperoni        40

Evening snack       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160

Total intake for 5-25-15 is 1900 calories.         

I am weighing myself again and perhaps that will start making appearances here on the blog again too.

As Ever
Me

The girl in the red dress.

I decided to log into the blog after someone that I have known since childhood said to me "I read your blog and I'm waiting for an update" I had no idea that people I knew actually read this blog because I tried to keep it as out of that loop as possible but here goes, an update. 

When I say there is a lot going on in my personal life I am understating, which honestly sounds like an excuse to me but as I have stated before I am indeed a stress/emotional eater which I'm working on but for now it wins that fight more times than not and I find myself lit from the front by a refrigerator light at times. My success with dropping weight paired with this whole regain bullshit that I've allowed myself to slide back into just because focusing on me is rougher these days has got to stop and I've "restarted" so many times in the last 2 years that I could be the poster boy for yo yo dieting at this point. There are days when I'm all like "Bring it on, I am the god of hellfire and everything health bows to me bitches! I got this" Then there are times that I feel more like Eore from Winnie the pooh and it goes to shit, I suppose I'm not alone in that kind of thing but damn its gotta let up sometimes... or. 

The day that this person I've known forever stated that she reads my blog I met a friend of hers and I didn't say anything at the time but this friend of hers forced me to think about this whole walk down the yellow brick road to health I've been on in a different way, the way I use to see it. Talking to this person reminded me that the attitude in which you approach a situation is possibly more important than than the process itself in a way. Though we only spoke briefly, I learned that she had lost 90 pounds and was a kettlebell instructor, her attitude and positive outlook stuck with me more than she probably realized in that moment. Over the last week I have been reflecting on a lot of things and decided that its time to take my body and health back from the negativity that currently holds the keys with an attitude change.

Life is too short and we never know what cards we will be dealt at any given moment, sometimes we get pocket aces, win the huge pot then happily ever after and other times we lose the farm, the key is that whatever we are handed that we stay the course. A blip on the radar in the grand scheme, a short conversation with a person who I know not much about other than she was really positive and dealt with some weight loss/health tuning of her own forced a week of reflecting on my part and here I am, with an update.

My excel sheet was dusted off and the salter scale is on the counter, I am heading out to the grocery store for some fresh stuff to eat after I click publish, Its time to find that guy who use to be as positive as that girl in the red dress again.

Thats all I got for today.

As Ever
Me 

As simply as I can say it..

In life, sometimes we are not sure where to start, many times it seems so daunting that we fail before we start, other times we dwell on what use to be but it will always remain the same no matter at what junction we stand.

You must start from the point at which you currently stand, not because its the best idea, not because someone else said so and not because the mood strikes you on any particular day.

But because it is where you stand and there is no other starting point.

What's holding YOU back?

Now to take my own advice.....

As Ever

Me

Those things that make you think about those other things..

So, the poison ivy is clearing up and opening day for trout has passed as did the big Easter dinner I made, things are looking up. This blog has given me a place to drop my thoughts when I feel the need to, it had given me a couple friends I would have not had otherwise and I have not posted as much as I might have shouldda in past months but here we go. 

This is how my day ended on opening day 2014, just amazing.

Opening day fishing was a disaster and only saved by the company that I had and one of the most amazing sunsets I have ever had the joy of laying eyes on to end my day, so in short it was a beautiful disaster. My daughter and I set out to fill the freezer with trout and at the end of the day all said and done we had a single 15 inch rainbow trout to show for our efforts and I owed her a buck for catching the first and what turned out to be the only fish of the day. Something that also made the day not so awesome was the fact that I broke the end off of one of my poles by rolling the window up on it... twice... so now my 7 foot pole is a tad shorter.

 It was a snack eating kind of day as I didn't have a solid meal all day Saturday besides breakfast but I was not minding calories at all so it made not much difference either way. Sunday on the other hand was a different story all together and the feast that I made for my family was pretty amazing... calorie filled for sure, but amazing. 

I had been doing well with my calories until about a week ago then I slacked, Today is a new day and I am not going to dwell on the fact that I have not eaten the best in the past week or so, it is what it is and its time to move on. I have to realize that I can do what I can do and worrying about things out of my control is not helping the ahem.. situation with my ass so I am trying to limit worrying but we all know how that goes. Over all I am feeling more positive about my weight situation but admittedly I do struggle a lot with dealing with the weight that I have regained and the mental that goes along with having succeeded in dropping what I did and turning myself around and now being in a 2 steps forward 3 steps back place in this journey. 

Once upon a time there was a fat guy that was not able to live the life that I am living right now, once upon a time I was living a life doing things that I cannot do at this moment and living in the now of life has got to become the way of me. The first time around I was a guy never having known how it felt to be healthy, this time around I know how it feels to be healthy and able to do what I please when I please and I am still unsure which is worse but in THIS moment, its worse having known and I'll use that to drive me forward into te life that I am trying to take back.  

Thats all I got

As Ever
Me

Mike Tyson is effecting my weight loss.

How does a person who lost 230 pounds, became the man that he knew he was and completely turned his physical around gain more than 100 pounds back get into a groove that will again allow him to drop back into Superman status? This is my quandary.

I ask myself constantly how did I do it? how did I drop 230 pounds the first go around? most importantly how can I do it again? I walk, I eat decent (I'll admit I am not doing my part 100% where eating goes) but it seems that lately no matter what I do, no matter how hard I work the weight does not come off. I was doing yard work Tuesday and felt awesome because well, my yard looks amazing in the spring and I was getting what I have always considered "free exercise" by doing the work. fast forward to last night and I am itchy... My nemesis has returned, yep Poison Ivy, I must have missed that I pulled some roots up that were hairy and bamn! my fragile skin which cries at night thinking about poison ivy came in contact and this morning I look like I went 12 rounds with the young Mike Tyson.

I decide that going to my doc is the better option considering that the hospital is where I typically end up when meeting Poison Ivy in dark alleys if not a quick run to the mob doc for some medical help. I walk in, get weighed, blood pressure etc etc everything that happens with a visit to the doc and the nurse says "He will be right in" so I wait. The Doc walks in, says hello "been a while" yep sure has, "looks like ya got some poison ivy there huh?" yep sure do, "what are we going to do about that weight Tony?" I laughed because I had just told my wife who dropped me off that he would ask me. I said "lets get this taken care of and then we can talk" to which he replies, "yeah, you're getting a shot and a script like every time, now your weight"  and I think to myself "awesome" ...

After a short talk describing how I can;t seem to drop weight any more he wanted to do some blood work for my thyroid and I am reminded that My father takes meds for Thyroid, my grandmother had problems with hers as did my aunt... hmmmmm why didn't I think of that? because it seemed like an excuse when I DID think about it. I have an appointment in a month to talk about whatever the blood tests say and I somehow feel good that I am doing something proactive about this problem that I have. 

My blood pressure was ok, heart rate ok, everything seemed ok besides the statement where the doc said "you're 73 pounds more than the last time I saw you" ..... ouch. I got a shot for the ivy, got some prednisone and a cream for the itching so hopefully this "boxers look" that I have right now leaves me sooner than later and I feel hopeful where my weight loss is concerned again as its been a while since that was the case.

Maybe getting poison ivy was a blessing in disguise, I don't know but I do know that that hopeful feeling is deadening the itching a bit, so I'll take it. 

Thats all I got.

As Ever
Me