Thursday, April 29, 2010

A walk through time, and a ton of pictures.

Once upon a time in the 70's a little boy was born, he was the most beautiful kid that had ever been born up until that point in history, Ok so I may be embellishing on that bit about being the most beautiful but trust me he was a darling. Anyways, there was a kid, he was a happy kid from all angles of seeing him, he played outside and he went fishing with his dad quite often, nothing abnormal about him, he fit in but perhaps there is more to this than we think after seeing this photo.
A normal kid in every way and honestly looking back at some photos, he was not what I would call a "fat kid" at all but from early on the label was attached and since they are my memories I know that he felt like the fat kid. Playing with his brother and his cousins that felt more like a brother and sister than cousins was on the menu every day, he was a very spiffy dresser and wore all of the latest fashions for the time, He set the trends and looking at this next image you can see what I mean, He just wanted to walk through the world minding his own business at this point.

There was this amazing concoction that kept popping into his life each year called cake and he was amazed, it was so good, so chocolaty so.....not really but man! lots of this kid sitting in front of chocolate cakes in the old albums, perhaps I was destined to carry the label though my life.

I did mention that he was a spiffy dresser right? but still not exactly what you might call a fat kid, and whats with the serious look on his face all the time? I remember this time in my life, I want to guess that I was about 4 or 5 here and there wasn't a bad thing that I could say about it, did we have lots of money? nope, did we live in a high end neighborhood? quite the opposite actually and everything in my world was playing with and picking on the little fella in this picture with me, what else are big brothers for?

Time for school, this is the first day of kindergarten, that's my brother in the purple get up, the blond is my cousin and of course me. Cowboy boots and a happy days lunch box I was ready to begin the first day, of course after this picture was taken I reportedly balled my eyes out because I didn't want to go to school. This is where some of my earliest memories of that "F" word come into my life, I haven't a clue when it was first said but I know that it impacted me more than anyone knew.

After the school system chewed me up and spit me out this is what we ended up with, long hair, a dense look on my face and the beginnings of a 1980's porno mustache. The leather jacket that I have on in the image is the one that I wore in high school and apparently didn't fit me quite properly at this point but that wasn't stopping me from wearing it. This was probably a year or two after high school and looking at it now I don't wonder so much about how I wasn't a ladies man back then, honestly I was in a good place in my head at this point. I was big, I had the hair of an 80's hair band front man though it was the 90's but I was not really limited, I did what I wanted to for the most part and I wasn't much different in size when I met Wify, though I had cut my hair and grown a goatee by then. The jacket was custom made for me my sophomore year so I don't know what the size would be and the shirt is about 3xl at this point.

The happy couple, This is a few years after we met, she is heavier, I am way heavier and my back injury had already occurred and I obviously had blown up by this point. Sporting a 5xl shirt at this Christmas party lets just say that I was not shaking my ass out on the dance floor though I was begged to and that is something that I can add to the regret pile. I missed out on so much because of the extra weight that I could write 50 posts on the subject and not even come close to touching on half of it, I do have some pictures of Wify and her girlfriends shaking their asses at this same party but for fear of getting clubbed to death I won't post any of those up. I can remember dancing a single slow dance at this shindig and half way through the song I was soaked in sweat and my back was on fire, it sucked ass to have to lean on Wify so hard and it was only the one song and I felt like shit for it but as per usual just made a face and an excuse to go sit back down. This was not a fun time in my life regardless of the big smile on my face in the below picture, making excuse after excuse to not do things when I really did want to do it all, it is what it is and I ain't ever going back to it.

A mountain on a mountain, This picture was taken in Texas and that's Mexico in the background, I don't remember what the little scenic spot we were on was called but I was at my pinnacle where weight goes and I wouldn't doubt if I was heavier than 534 in this picture. That is a 6XL shirt that is snuggly fitting on my rotund body there and I can remember taking this photo and upon seeing it thought "wow I look good here lets frame this one" and in fact there is a set of frames in my house right now with pictures from this trip that wify put together and I now look at them and can see just how big I actually was compared to now. I am happy that I have images like these to remind me where I was at one point in my life because taking a look at them lets me know just how hard I've worked to get myself back down to a healthier weight and I know that I won't ever go back.

This one is of my brother and myself at my cousins wedding, I don't remember the year but its earlier than the picture above, that jacket that I am wearing is if I remember right a 72 long and was special ordered. Now if you didn't do the math that's 6 feet around, I stand 6'5'' and my brother is 6'4 1/2'' and you can see our height in this picture now imagine my jacket is just 5 inches short of being that big around if it were unbuttoned. its the same jacket that I have on in THIS compare shot when I was down 165 pounds and I am planning on either selling it at a DEEP discount to someone or finding someone to just donate it to because I know how hard getting clothing like that is.

If you have read this blog you have probably seen this image, this is when I was 200 pounds lost and I am 25 pounds lighter now than in this picture, I have gone from literally round to sort of round in a matter of 2 years. From 500 plus pounds and back again I know that I will never be in that position again where I HAVE to say that I can't have a dance with the woman that I love, I will never have to tell my kids that I can't go do an activity with them because I just can't make it up that tiny little hill or walk that far, I won't do it.

No real point to this whole walk though time other than I was going through some old photos and thought I would pop them up with some words. Tomorrow I weigh in officially for the blog and that weight will go onto the side bar, I don't think that it will be a new low but crazier things have happened and I am kind of close enough that its a possibility so make sure to pop on in to see how I did. This afternoon I am back to the gym and hopefully it will kick start me into a workout frenzy that gets me rolling in the right direction on the scale again, either way I am glad to be going back.

This post has been brought to you by the number 10

As Ever


  1. Great post, that had me nodding my head in recognition of the feelings and realisations all the way through. The key is rising above the regrets and the "I wish I'd...'s and feeling thankful and proud and humbled by the fact that you finally got your head together and got your life back in the process. Whenever I feel a sense of regret about all the moments I've squandered from childhood onwards because I was - or thought I was - too fat or too self-conscious to do something that I really wanted to do, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and often it's the people who have been to the bottom and back who realise just how precious life is, and that you have to savour every moment of it, and not hold back when it comes to loving and being loved.

    The next stage of your life is going to be such a blast!

  2. Its great to see where we've come from and know that despite where we got to, we know that we can always go a different direction. Cheers on your new direction!

  3. Great post Tony, really enjoyable!

  4. Great post. Loved seeing all the pictures.

    Happened to wonder over here from another blog and thought I would check things out. Like what I see so now I'm following you. Look forward to reading your blog in the future.

    If you get a chance swing by my blog and say hello.