Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Being comfortable in my own skin...ALL of it....

Monday provided me with a pretty good work out at the gym and I stayed under my calorie range, hydration was the game for the day and over all I am happy with everything that happened for the day where my health is concerned. I mentioned that I was going to do my 15/15/15 routine and I did but I changed it up a bit, I did my 15 mins on the bike, I did my 15 mins on the arc and I did my 15 on the treadmill but instead of walking at various inclines I warmed up at 3.0 mph for 3 mins and then did intervals running for 2 minutes then walking for 2 minutes and I did that for 20 minutes, the intervals near the end were less than 2 minutes each but it was a good work out none the less and something new to me so I was pleased with it.

Last Wednesday when I was at the gym with Wify I tried running on the treadmill for the first time and it wasn't as bad as I thought and is what prompted me to try it yesterday, and I almost chickened out and just walked. Looking for a treadmill that was stuck in a corner or behind a pillar was the plan but as I was walking away from the weight area I thought "why hide in a corner to run?" so I walked to the treadmill front and center of the gym and was right in plain sight, running is still something that I am not fully comfortable with even with a compression shirt on and I did not have it with me, but I did have my hoodie and that sufficed. My original thoughts of all eyes on the fat dude momentarily came back when I began running but quickly faded as Black train Jack blared in my head phones and I slipped into that I really don't give a.... mode.

It is still hard to not be in that frame of mind at times when you once weighed over 500 pounds, its a hard feeling to shake, you know, the one where it feels like everyone in the world is staring at you. Even now at around 330 pounds and physically able to do pretty much anything that I want to I am still a big boy, I am still not what you would call a physically fit individual if you were judging on looks alone and perhaps not even if it was my abilities that were being evaluated but none of that really matters. Doing what I need to do is what I need to do and that's it, letting what someone else thinks stop me would be my loss and that isn't something that I am ready to accept, does that mean that I won't wear my hoodie to hide the jiggle? nuh uh! its hoodie all the way! but I won't hide in a corner to run either. I have all winter to wear my hoodie to the gym when I run and hopefully by the spring I will have lost a significant amount of weight, at least be under 300 pounds which is a goal of mine.

Getting to under 300 pounds has sort of been back burnered for a while because I am as I said doing pretty much anything that I want to and my weight is not limiting me in any way currently, which is probably untrue but coming from where I have it sure does feel like I am unlimited. Talking to Wify a couple nights ago I told her how this weight that I am right now is where I am comfortable, its what is familiar to me so the hard push to lose lose lose! isn't there, I mean I am working out, I am eating right but its almost just slightly above maintenance levels because I give myself a lot of slack with the calories lately, I am able to walk/run/bike further than ever so I am seeing progress there instead of weight numbers. This morning I weighed in at 336.4 pounds which is 8 pounds higher than my lowest weight and where I have been hovering for the last couple weeks since my surgery and now that the cat is out of the bag its time to get back into a downward swing with the weight so a challenge will be set.

I want to hit 300 pounds or below before April 2nd 2010, that number is a very achievable amount of weight as it will mean that need to lose 2 pounds per week on average from this Friday until April 2nd. Because I am the way that I am I want to try to get below that number before then and I am planning on upping the intensity at the gym, I will still do my same two routines but I will up the speed, distance and weight in which I am doing these things and hopefully it will kick the weight loss into high gear, or at least a higher gear than I am in right now. Unlike the last challenge I will not be having a surgery to mess up the final result so Iwill add it to the side bar and add a weigh in each week until April 2nd, I am trying to think of something that I will have to do if I reach the goal, surpass the goal or do not make the goal like maybe donate to JDRF a certain dollar amount per pound under or over or whatever, if any of you fine people have any good ideas please drop it in the comment section.

There you have it, another post, a new challenge and now you owe yourself a big ol glass of H2O so hop on up and get it, you have sat on your butt long enough reading this post. Of course thanks for the support and for following along and tune in tomorrow to find out what happens in the next episode of as the fat guy turns..

As Ever


  1. Tony, sometimes us ladies aren't comfortable running in the gym either, what with all the oogling going on but for the most part, I just zone out and go for it! Glad to see you are challenging yourself because, you know, you are the person you need to please first.

  2. Tony,
    I love that you decided to hang out in full sight of everyone instead of hiding in a corner or behind a pillar. Way to go!!
    I know how you feel about feeling comfortable where you are and not feeling so highly motivated to go lower. I think at this point you have to stop going by feel so much and just make specific goals, as you seem to have already done.
    I weigh about 155 lbs, but am only just over 5 feet. I am very solid though, but want to lose at least 25 lbs (if I keep my muscle and I have quite a bit) It's hard because it's so easy to lose sight of goals that don't feel so pressing. We're kind of in the same place.
    Good luck. I'll be rooting for you as I try to go lower too.
    The other thing is, you have some so far and with your surgery, I wouldn't really worry that you've lost some drive or anything. You actually, on further thought, sound like you're still doing very well! :)