Thursday, October 1, 2009

New boss same as the old boss?

Funny thing about being committed to something and the way that you feel over all because of it, I have been back in a frame of mind that will lead me down the path in the right direction again for one whole day and I already feel like my new old self again. I ate within my calorie range yesterday and I got out for a ride on my bike, a cold ride but a ride none the less. I also got enough sleep last night and that is most likely why I feel good today but a combination of all of the above is not beyond possibility either and its only 9:00 am and I am wanting to post on this blog so maybe I am back into the routine. I did come in low for calories yesterday with a total of 1370 for the whole day along with my typical gallon of green tea and about a half gallon of straight H2O so I am hydrating properly and obviously I didn't eat too much.

This is a photo from mid Jan 2008, I am not going back to that so again re-focused I have become.

I had a few distractions over the last month and the ones that could be taken away were all taken away yesterday and I will not revisit them as they are nothing important and were obviously enough to make me veer off the beaten path where my health is concerned. Some of the distractions are not so easy to remove so I am afraid that I am stuck with them for the duration, one of these distractions is the gallbladder surgery that I need to get and am putting off for no real good reason other than its not something that I want to do, all in due time I suppose.

Re-reading some of my old posts yesterday brought some things back into focus for me, while I am leaps and bounds past where I started off I am not out of the woods yet and reading the posts from the beginning of my trip again brought back some of the old feelings. I read the story of a guy that was honestly and wholeheartedly afraid that the time left on the planet was limited and unpredictable because of extra weight that was being carried around. I remember how it felt to walk up a flight of stairs and be completely out of breath for doing so and the embarrassment that came with that as well as the attempt to hide that fact from my wife by pretending to do something in the hall or walking to the bathroom to let the breathing come down a bit before actually walking into the bedroom. I read a post where I went for a walk to a playground "a couple of blocks away from our house" and I can remember feeling like I had just worked out for an hour because of that walk that was literally a block and a half away, for me at the time it was a big deal to be able to make that walk and I hid that from my wife as well. I am not that guy any more, I am not going to be the guy that lost 200 pounds and faded into the internet with that false accomplishment of almost making it out of being on the edge of a short life because of terrible health habits and I will not hide anything from my wife again because I am too embarrassed to admit that I have had a problem with eating.

I won't go back to the old way that I was living my life, I have come too far for that. Its amazing what looking at some side by side pictures and re-reading some old posts will do for getting a frame of mind back to the top of the pile.

Tomorrow is another day and another post shall be here for you to read with your morning Joe or tea, as always I thank you for following along with what I am doing.

As Ever


  1. Never Give Up.

    What better advice for us is there then that?

  2. You da man! Your transformation is amazing! Thank you for putting yourself out there. For having the heart and courage to share your journey with us-- the positive and the negative!

  3. Great post- I agree with you 100% I will never go back to the old me and I will never give up UNTIL I get to where I want to be :)

  4. Good Post!! It's got me thinking about some things. Your transformation is amazing.

  5. I have been quietly reading along to your blog for a couple months now. I'm glad you're re-focused and re-energized.

    It's a difficult and often daily struggle, but I'm confident we can both get there.