Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I found the miracle diet plan! You have to see this! Jujuberry 7.2!

Is your waist line much bigger than it should be? do you fear wearing corduroy in dry places for fear of starting a raging fire? do you swear that you hear the morsels of goodness speaking to you when you walk down the cookie isle in the supermarket? well then have I got the diet plan for you! You can lose up to 38 inches off of your waistline in just 3 days with our patented Jujuberry and iced meatball sports drink of the gods! yes I said it! YOU can be a success! and with our payment plan it will only cost you the low low price of $19.99 per month for the next four years! that's only about 65 cents per day folks! and here is our super duper muscle bound obscure spokesman Harvey McDullardsonfengenden with a comparison shot of himself from 1984 to prove that it works! if you order within the next 12 minutes we will throw in an accelerator elixir that will increase the potency of our product ten fold! absolutely FREE!!!! what are you waiting for? pick that phone up and call now to receive your completely bullshit box of products in just 7 to 14 business days! You too can look like Harvey McDullardsonfengenden in just 3 days! order now!

That...or you can put the box of cookies down, tear your ass away from in front of that magical plastic box full of wires and electronics and go for a walk.

As you can tell I am in a mood this morning and can't wait to leave for the gym this afternoon, I did well yesterday where intake is concerned and I ate 1700 calories on the nose. My hydration effort was 1 gallon of green tea and just under 1 gallon of Straight H2O and I did not get a chance to go to the gym as my daughter had the day off from school, my schedule is to have Wednesdays off but because I missed yesterday I will go today Thursday and Friday to make up for the non workout yesterday so it all evens out.

Here is a look at my menu from yesterday

8:00 AM
2 cups fruit and grain cereal 240
1 cup 1% milk 110

10:30 AM
1 banana 105
1 T peanut butter 95

1:30 PM
2 boiled eggs 140
multigrain bread 200
1 T miracle whip 50
tomato/pickle 30

4:30 PM
2 cups cookie crisp cereal 240
1 cup 1% milk 110

7:30 PM
6 inch turkey subway 280

8:15 PM
1 apple 100

That's all I got for today, remember to stay hydrated and Thanks for reading along, oh one last thing stop the madness with all of the excitable muscle bound 1980's dude extreme 100% bullshit diet plans that they try to sell us on the boob tube and pick up an apple, its the only thing that's gonna work people.

As Ever


  1. I just love your humor! Hope you have a great day at the gym.

  2. Amen to that! You are so right. Nothing good comes easy, you have to work your ass off for it!

  3. I should sue for stealing my after pic!

  4. THANKS!

    I just started Spark 2 days ago, and came upon your blog this morning on my way to the fridge. Your words are tremendously encouraging, and I just want to tell you, the person inside your body, no matter what weight, makes me thankful to be alive. I hope you have an excellent weekend.

  5. I so enjoy your post. Thanks for sharing the meal plan as this will help me tremendous!!