What we have here is a failure to communicate...

Weigh in has come again like every week but this time around its a little different, This week I did not stay on plan, this week I did not eat like I should have yesterday in particular and the scale shows that to me this morning. I have said it before and I will reiterate again that this blog is for accountability so honesty is what you will get when I say that it is my fault that there is no loss this week. The scale told me that I was not a good boy when I stepped on this morning and the display read 357.4 which is more than 5 pounds higher than last Friday. I have not exercised a single day this week past Saturday and ate enough yesterday to cover 3 days worth of calories, now that's just a estimate but if I were a betting man that would be my guess and the fact that in the last 2 days I have only drank about 1/2 gallon of fluid probably doesn't help either. Three nights this week I have had 5 or less hours of sleep per night as well, when all of these things are put together "you get what we had here last week".


Negativity breeds more of the same and Momma always said that if I didn't have anything nice to say than I should keep my mouth shut and that could explain why I haven't posted much this week. I know that its been a not so good week and I feel about the same way. In an older post I mentioned "Talking like a fat person" and I guess I have been doing that this week just a bit because I have been under some stress which is not weight loss related "Oh hey You have been under stress? its ok that you slipped then" No its not! Life happens, stress is part of that from time to time and I have not stayed focused under this stress. Turning to food because of stress is likely why most of us gain weight in the first place, that or getting married! yes that puts weight on as well for all of you single people reading this. Either way it should not be a reason to eat, it should not mean that game is off until the stresser exits stage left.

I am tired of juggling the same five pounds already and it is time to stop the madness and get below 350 pounds. I have been sick for more than a week and that had a hand but again its no excuse but I am feeling better so I am back on from this point on, not because I want to be but because I have to be. "Ain't ya scared? Ain't ya scared of dyin'?" Thats what started this all isn't it? 14 months ago I WAS scared of "dyin'" and just because I am comfortable in my own skin again doesn't mean that I can lose focus, it does not mean that the fat burning party is over and because I can slide into a booth now certainly does not mean its time to scream success, because I have a long way to go before I reach that finish line.

Today starts me back into my old ways, well my new old ways because my old old ways would mean that I keep eating, or something. I am tired of moving this dirt in and out of "Boss Kean's ditch" where this five pounds is concerned so its done today, I am back on track stress or no stress, sick or no sick because I have to. Thank you for following along and don't forget to drink that H2O which sounds hypocritical coming from the guy that drank a total of a half gallon of fluid in 2 days! but know that while I wrote this I consumed slightly less than a half gallon of green tea.

Keep on keepin on and all that.

As Ever
Me

Huh? who me? yeah you fat man!

We're back in business, Saturday I picked up a new laptop so I am nice and comfy having my own computer back with my own progs on them. Lets talk about the challenge that I posted up for a minute, Saturday I woke up and decided that I would ride the bike first thing and it looks like I owed for 22 comments worth of minutes so 44 minutes it was, add that to my normal 20 and its 64 minutes. I decided to break it into 2 sections to save my arse some pain so it was a 30 minute ride then some stretches for about 15 minutes and then back for the remaining minutes, 35 minutes later (I did an extra minute for kicks) I was done and we headed out for the day to get some shopping done, Thank you all that left me a comment!

Let us talk about some weight loss/health stuff, when last we saw Mister Meatball the ships were in port and not moving but every 3 days and that was not wearing well on me and I was praying that the blockage would end sooner than later and on Saturday I got my wish. My daughter had a stomach bug (its just slowing down now) last week and I got it, what that translates into is that someone blew the dam and there is now an express route through my body for everything that goes in, so if it ain't one thing. That pass through the straights is still open and now I find myself praying for a blockage! go figure.

A random shot of last nights dinner, Turkey burgers and sweet potato fries, hows that look?

Intake wise this past weekend was not good at all, let me splain. Friday was the beginning of this stomach deal that I have going on atm so I just ate what I could because I figured something was better than nothing and I ended up not counting calories at all, I ate what I normally eat on any given day I just did not log anything so there is a chance that I went over. Saturday we were out all day so I did not log anything again but I am fairly sure that I did not go over on calories either, it was a Subway for dinner kind of day and 1 gallon of green tea was consumed while we ran around. Sunday, ahhh Sunday, a week or two ago I was suppose to meet up with some old friends from high school and it didn't happen because of me being sick so we went out to dinner Sunday and it was cool getting together but the food was terrible for that day, only in calories because the steak I had at dinner was absolutely sinful. Breakfast on Saturday started out pretty normal with me having a bowl of Honey combs cereal (2 cups) with 1 cup of 1% milk, gold star for me. Then lunch was a foot long subway which is still not so bad besides the fact that I did not get my normal turkey with no cheese and a pound of veggies, instead I got a Subway melt which is Turkey, Ham and bacon with provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo, YES real mayo! so that was naughty, but wait until you hear about dinner!

Onto dinner (yes it gets its own paragraph!) ahhh dinner, For dinner we went to a steak house and let me tell you about the appetizers first, actually lets start at the bread! on the table was warm cinnamon flavored rolls with honey/garlic butter on the side so of course I had to have one and man was it good. For an appetizer we ordered a sample platter and an order of jalapeno poppers to share between the four of us and I had my share of the poppers dipped in a horse radish sauce as well as a potato skin from the sampler, so off to a good start eh? for my drink I ordered a cherry coke (which I had 2 of before the night was done) and the main course was a 16 oz NY strip cooked perfectly rare, a baked potato with sour cream and butter on the side and a cup of chili which was all perfectly prepared. Dessert time came around and everyone was sort of looking at one another like "I don't know, do you want some? maybe I'll have, um maybe...." so I ended it by stating "I will have a piece of that cheese cake and bring out 2 spoons" which prompted my friend from high school to do the same. So as you can see there was really no holding back for that meal whatsoever, I did not finish my meal I want to mention, I brought home 2/3 of the potato and maybe 4-5 oz of the steak which I ate yesterday.

Monday I did not record my calories but I do believe I was pretty close to my 1700 limit if not over by 100-200 and that will conclude the no recording of the food. I can blame the fact that I was without my computer which holds my excel sheet that I made but I won't do that, there is this stuff called paper and these things called pens that I could have used so I take the blame for my slacking off on the intake tracking. I have my new laptop set up now and have Office installed so I have my excel sheet back and the tracking begins again today.

I want to give a mention to the video poll on the sidebar again as it appears that a video will need to be uploaded soon judging by the response, I thank all who have voted so far and if you haven't please do so! Thank you for following along with my weight loss journey and you know the drill, grab that H2O and get to drinking!

As Ever
Me

Weigh in, Yoga, and a challenge issued!

Weigh in has come once again and getting right to the point I weighed in at 352.2 pounds which is a pound lighter than my lowest weight and four pounds less than last Friday. Is this a four pound week? or a one pound week? doesn't matter how I count it as its a loss! one pound less than my lowest weight so indeed the lightest I have been in many years and that is in fact the point so I am delighted this morning.

This Suzuki weighs in at 352 pounds like yours truley!

I rode my bike last night for 17 minutes and then came downstairs and did a 15 minute Yoga session off of one of Wifys DVD's and I have to admit that it took me by surprise at what it took to make it through the whole segment. My shoulders were tired, my back was stretched, the front of my legs were feeling it at one point and I do recall cussing under my breath at the woman on the screen at one point "C'mon lady I'm 350 pounds here!" I do believe that I will be adding this segment of her dvd to my bike riding days workout. The Yoga was a good way to come back down to a nice easy pace and relax a bit all at the same time, As I get comfortable with this 15 minutes maybe I will add length to what I am doing and start doing Yoga more seriously. I give all of you that do yoga huge props today because I honestly have always been that guy thinking "now how can that be a workout?" but after doing my measely 15 minute routine which I am sure I was not in perfect form I see exactly how it can be considered a workout!

In yesterdays post I mentioned a challenge for this weeks weigh in post so here it is, for every comment that gets left on this post today before midnight tonight saying that a glass of H2O was consumed I will ride an additional 2 minutes on my bike ride Saturday 02-21-09. So, here is your chance to make a fat man work for his weight loss! sound off on this post and we both win, I get more movement for the day and you get a tall glass of wetness to help keep you hydrated.

That will bring to an end another weigh in post and don't forget to check out the poll on the left sidebar while you are reading along today, Thanks for the support and don't forget that water!

As Ever
Me

A Friday challenge and maybe a video.

Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder what you are, I am The guy at the wheel after watching it plow uncontrolled through the corn field for far too long. Having control back is a good feeling and one that would not have been appreciated as it is if not for the stint away from the controls, and what I mean is that I am back. I look at photos of myself from a year ago and honestly cannot remember looking that way to my own eye, of course I can remember the struggles, of course I have the closet of 6XL shirts and size 56 jeans to remind me but I look at those old pictures and cannot remember seeing myself that big when looking into a mirror. I am back, the me that was there 10 years ago, the me that even though I was/am heavy I am not missing out on anything and then I think about how 265 pounds will feel, will I look back at pictures of me now and think "wow I was big!" or will I look back and think about how I was in control at this weight, to be found out I guess.

February has brought me an odd month where weight loss is concerned, this could be for many reasons, I have been sick, I upped my calories for a short time, ships were stationed in port for a bit and I had a weekend "binge" in the beginning but as of this morning I am still up from my lowest weight of 353 by a pound or two 19 days into this shortest of the months. I have in fact upped the exercise this week with some walking (five out of the last 7 days I have included walks into my day) and my fluid intake has been on par as well as keeping within my 1700 calorie limit besides last night when I did not weigh the Doritos that I had with my Subway for dinner, I know I know Doritos bad veggies good but they ARE my weakness. Over all this week is a good one but I do need to stay focused if I am to keep on moving in a downward direction with the weight loss.

The weather has shifted back to that of a winter tone dropping some ice and slush on us again last night, it should be warming back up by the end of the weekend but for now the bike will have to be my cardio outlet for a couple of days which brings me to a comment that was left by Joanne this morning where she mentioned a weekly challenge this week. I accept! and for every comment that I get on tomorrows weigh in post before midnight Friday I will ride 2 extra minutes on top of my normal 20 minute ride on my bike on Saturday, So once again all of you that read my blog have a chance to say that you were a part of making me thinner! the catch? there is always a catch, you have to drink a glass of H2O and say so in your comment for it to count towards the minute count for the challenge.

I also want to mention that I have been toying with the idea of posting videos up on my Friday weigh in posts for at least a few months and once I get my laptop situation taken care of I may do just that, I have a camera that can take digital video with sound and thought it would be a fun idea that could add a new layer to my blog.

That concludes the latest episode of as the fat guy turns, sound off with a comment on tomorrows weigh in post and make a fat man sweat! a lovely visual I know but it is what it is and maybe I need the push. Perhaps a video is in the near future and a voice to go with the face of Zeusmeatball oh my! Thank you for all of the support that you leave and don't forget that glass of H2O that you deserve for reading this far into the post!

As Ever
Me

Who are you?

Perception is an amazing thing, sometimes two different people can see the exact same situation completely differently. At 534 pounds I was miserable, at that weight the whole world was looking at me every minute of every day even inside my own home, whether this was true or not is arguable but none the less. Now at 355 pounds that focus is no longer on me in my mind, I am part of the "normal crowd" albeit I am on the large side of that graph I do not feel like I have a beacon on my head along with a giant neon arrow pointing at me assuring that every person in the area is staring at me, confidence is at its height currently and there is really no way to drag me down. The other side of that coin is that at 534 pounds I was inside my house more than I am now so really who was "staring" at me? and at 355 pounds I AM still usually one of the bigger gentlemen in the crowd, the difference is where I am at inside my head. I know that I am eating healthy, I know that I exercise regularly, I know that just a year ago I was much heavier and that leaves a great amount of positivity floating around the air in my general vacinity.

Over this weekend My wife and I had dinner with her sister and father, he was telling a story about a seminar that he went to and how an episode of babylon 5 used the same concept in the story line, long story short Jack the ripper was given the chance to redeem himself if he was able to find the saviour of the universe, so he cruised around the universe for thousands of years asking people "who are you?" and apparently shocking them sometimes to death until they answered correctly, or something along those lines according to my father in law, I have never seen the show, I don't think my father in law was being shocked at his seminar but the question in his story caught my attention. Who are you? I am the man that has control of his own life again, But who are you? I am in charge again after being relieved of the reigns for far too long, But who ARE you? I AM Zeusmeatball! but WHO ARE you!! ok I missed the whole concept of what my father in law was talking about because of the children and if it was Mr. Ripper I may have been shocked to death but my point is that it made me think about who I am now compared to when I was extremely over weight.

True enough I am the same person but I do not feel like the same person, I am Me again, I have the option to make the decisions again based not on the fact that I could not walk for the 20 minutes that it would take to make that walk to the broken bridge so I have to make up an excuse as to why I did not want to go, but based instead on the fact that I WANT to go see the broken bridge so I go, I have my life back.

Onto some of how my week has been going, I have eaten no more than 1700 calories per day for the past few days and have walked a lot this week, my wife has been coming with me on the walks and I have to admit that I enjoy the company. We walked 1.8 miles last night in 30 minutes which brings us to about 3.4 mph which isn't too bad for a walk. The scale is starting to come down again and I am approaching my lowest weight again as of this mornings jump on the scale, ships have left port and hopefully the shipping lanes stay open from here on out. If I can get back to 353 pounds for this Friday I will be happy with that as I have been hovering a few pounds higher than that for the past week and frankly I need to see it below 353! We are expecting snow this afternoon so back to the bike for movement today which is ok because I haven't ridden it for a week because the weather has been cooperating and walks have been on the plate.

Over all it has been a good week where movement is concerned, the ships have sailed and the weight seems to be moving again, I am looking forward to Friday for weigh in and have a feeling that I will meet the 353 mark again if not go below that weight. Thanks for following along and its time for that glass of H2O so get on up and grab some.

As Ever
Me

Doing everything right and nothing is right? Discipline wins the day.

What does a fella do when everything is being done right and the results are less than stellar? How does one stay focused in the face of back tracking progress? When every duck is in that row standing at attention and yet things just aren't going in the direction that they should, what does the fat man do? He stays determined, and knows that the discipline that is being expressed will be what wins in the end, That is what is needed and is what will be given. With all of that said let me splain what I mean, Friday I weighed in at a higher amount than the previous week but things were not optimal as far as intake goes, I was toying with upping the calorie range and I was sick with a chest cold. Friday I was feeling well enough to start walking and I have walked 3 of the last 4 days anywhere from 1.6 miles to the longest walk which was 2.5 miles and found the walks to be helpful in how I felt, my calories have been with the exception of Valentines day on par and under 1700 per day, Valentines day I indulged in 2 small cup cakes that the kiddos made, I have been drinking my gallon per day green tea and then another half to three quarters of a gallon of water on top of that. Something is amiss with the ships leaving port in regular intervals and I cannot figure out why, here are my reasons for being confused with this. I drink at the least 1 & 1/4 gallons of green tea/water per day leaning more towards 1 & 3/4 gallons of fluid, in the last week I have eaten a lot of veggies and fruit, an average of 2 apples, an orange, a cup of veggies at dinner (green beans, corn or peas) and I have been eating raw cauliflower by the head, multigrain breads and cereals every day along with taking benifiber twice per day so I know that hydration and or fiber is not an issue, yet hitting the little boys room is not happening on a regular basis, if anyone has any suggestions I am ALL ears at this point.

With walking in mind I have tracked a 2.9 mile route with Gmaps which will be the track that I start walking soon, it may be a challenging route because of the hills on half of the walk, and I mean some very steep hilly parts but the way I see it is that the hills will make it more of a workout and thats not a bad thing when you have about 80-90 pounds to lose. I have come up with a workout schedule for myself which will be, walking and riding the bike on alternating days building up to walking every day while riding every other day in preperation for me starting the C25K program. Because of my weight I want to ease into the C25K thing instead of hitting it hard and fast and risking hurting myself.

Over all things are right where they should be besides the fact that I seem to be stopped up and not losing weight currently which I guess means that everything is not where it should be! My wife seems to think that its because I am/was sick this past week and then everything will be back to normal soon enough which will I will have to wait to see I figure. I still have not replaced my laptop so image-less my posts shall remain for a short time more until I can get a new one, for now I am using a borrowed computer with bare bones programs on it. Until tommorow thats the word on the street, get on up and grab that glass of H2O, Your body will thank you for it, and of course thanks for following along.

As Ever
Me

Its my blog and I'll cry if I want to.

See that wagon over yonder? yep I fell off of it last night. between being sick, and some other things going on it was easier to grab a pizza for dinner yesterday which wouldn't have been all too bad but it didn't stop there. This blog is about staying honest for me so thats how it will go down, I will just list the foods, this is not for the faint of heart! My day started out well enough and by dinner time I had eaten a total of 855 calories and with the fact that I was going to go back to 1700 yesterday I was left with 845 for the remainder of the evening. The bottom line is that I let stress (unrelated to weight loss) get to me and said screw it, lets order a pizza, and that we did. 20 minutes later a bacon pizza was in my kitchen and I ate 5 slices, that was NOT a typo, 5 slices! granted they were small slices and maybe 2 made up a single slice of a New York style pie but that is no excuse! admittingly not my finest moment, but like I said this blog is about putting it out there for me. As the evening progressed I found myself wandering around the kitchen and grabbed a cereal bar, then another so now on top of the pizza there are two cereal bars tossed down my gullet. Hey Mister Meatball thats not all that terrible you did have 845 calories and we are all human right? wrong! it was honey comb time, yep 2 bowls of honey combs! (3 cups worth) see how the snow ball happens? ah ha but we are not done yet, I haven't told you about the M&M's or the Valentines chocolate that finished the buffet off! yes I had a handful of M&M's and a single chocolate out of a Russel stovers Valentine heart. The bottom line is that ball thats rolling across the playground, yep it was me that dropped it, I will not beat myself up over this but, it is my friends a binge. Stress eating, emotional eating, or maybe just a fat guy on the loose whatever you call it this is NOT how I need to be eating to maintain a healthy life.

Weigh in reflected the smorgasbord as well, I am up 3 pounds, the scale told me to get the hell off this morning and I deserved the stern voice, thats right 356 flashed across the screen and since that buffet happoened pretty much before bed I am betting at least part of it is bloated because of that so I will weigh myself again tomorrow morning to get a closer estimate. That 356 may as well have been 556 this morning for the way I feel about it, I can accept that it is what it is but I am disappointed in myself for the late feast yesterday and almost feel like I deserve this gain for my lack of discipline.

I am not beating myself up over this for the most part but as I mentioned this blog was started as a way for me to stay honest by putting my progress, or in this case lack there of out in the open, I know why it happened and that is the important part but it is nothing that HAD to happen, I let things out of my control grab the wheel for a short stint and fat Tony saw and snatched at the chance.

Does any of this mean that I am going to start in on a regimen of pizza and cheeseburgers? nope, its just a bump in the road on a long trip so no worries and I hopped back on that wagon this morning and know what I did so its all good. In fact because of this I feel as if I owe it to myself to up the movement this week (as long as this chest thing keeps slowing down) and am planning on walking plus biking all week every day as soon as my chest agrees to the terms, I weighed 356 pounds and thats all it is, this is not the first time I have seen a gain on this trip to the half and it has after all been a rough week between being sick, upping my calories for a little experiment and that ugly thing called stress popping in for a visit it was bound to happen (sure sure fat man tell yourself it wasn't the pizza!) either way its just another day in the life of Mister Meatball so hop on up and grab yourself that big ol glass of H2O and know that I am doubling up on my fluids today in protest of this gain, so until next time!

As Ever
Me

Thumping along

I want to start todays post off by saying that the format of my last few posts are off a little bit and you will probably notice the lack of photos as well, this is because my laptop fell off of the table and well I nee to get a new one, but I have been using my Mother in laws laptop and was asked not to change any settings or anything on it and for whatever reason when I publish a post the format is screwy so I have been trying to figure out whats happening but its temporary so I am not looking too hard at why the posts are formatting funny, bear with me, we are looking into a new laptop.

In other news I am calling this 1850 calorie thang off and going back to 1700 calories starting today, this morning I woke up and weighed 354.4 which is up from Fridays weight but there are some ships at port so I think I am more than likely just about dead even on the weight for the week so not gaining but not losing either. There are probably many factors as to why, I am sick, I have been downing Green tea with honey in it pretty much all week without counting the honey in my calories and then there is the lack of exercise this week so it can be any of those things or a combo of any or all, along with the fact that I am just plain old eating more, so I am calling it off for now.

I did get to go for a walk yesterday, it was about 50 degrees and I walked for about 25 minutes pushing my daughter in her stroller, we walked about 1.2 miles according to Gmaps and because I asked my daughter "which way honey" at one point we ended going up a very steep hill that ran about 90 yards and to say that my legs were feeling that one is putting it lightly! I mapped out a 5k route near my home (it is actually slightly longer than 5k) and I will begin walking that route to get familiar with the distance. I asked my wife if she would be interested in walking with me and she agreed but I also asked her if she would mind if I walk at night after dinner so that it will be cooler when I am doing the C25K so it looks like I will have a walking buddy for at least some of the time, "I will do whatever you need me to do to support this" That is what my wife said to me when I was talking about doing the C25K program, I think I got a keeper! She then said "I will swim whatever you run" so I am actually excited about this coming Spring/Summer for that reason.

Intake, I ate 1800 calories yesterday, unfortunately for the same reason that I am not posting images etc, the format on my excel sheet comes up all wonky when I try and put it into a post with this computer so I will just report the numbers until I get a new laptop.

That will end another mind numbing episode of as the fat man turns, I hope you will join me tomorrow to see what the scale says, and don't forget that big ol glass of H2O that ya just earned for reading along!

As Ever
Me

Something shiny caught his eye..

I have a bug, in more than one way unfortunately I hate to say because I just cannot shake this whatever it is thats got my throat sore and I have a hankering to run. Last night I was up from 1:15 am to 3:30 am because I couldn't stop coughing, I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to sort of scratch my throat and peanut butter seems to help with a sore throat so I thought I would give it a try along with some tea, long story short I am groggy this morning.

Onto the other bug, I lately have the urge to run. I have been reading a few runners blogs for the past few days and I do believe that I want to give C25K a go when the weather clears up and gets a tad warmer so that I can assure snow will not be something that derails the program once I start, we have had a terrible year for snow, I guess it is a wonderful year if you like snow! Back when I was I want to guess about 300 pounds (though judging on my current size I think that I may have been slightly more than that) I use to run a bit when I had something to think about, Usually because of the girl that I was dating at the time which we will not get too much into for now. I would run at night in a small park that was far enough away from my house that I didn't have to worry about bumping into someone that I knew (and not because I was embarrassed, more because I wanted to be alone) anyways there were two bridges in this park that were about a quarter of a mile apart so I would jog down to one of the bridges and then walk back and upon reaching my starting bridge I would do it again, trotting down to the far bridge and then walk back at a brisk pace and before long I was running for a whole mile non stop and after looking at C25K what I did back then seems very similar in concept.

Am I being too ambitious to try and run at my weight? To be found out I guess because I have decided that its someting that I want to try. Bold words fat man as you sit wrapped in a quilt sucking down green tea and honey sick as a dog with no chance of this happening right now! ahh yes but I think I am bit hard enough that it is an inevitable absolute I will begin this program when the weather breaks a bit more. I have not gone on a walk about since mid December and I was up to just under 2 miles in about 27 minutes stopping because of time not distance, so a decent pace I think for a walk and I will start walking again solo (meaning without my daughter in tow) as soon as I kick this chest/throat thing thats holding me hostage in my own body right now so that I have an idea of how the routes at this new place work out for me.

Couch to 5k is right now something that I would in my wildest dreams not think could be a task that I could complete if you asked me just 13 months ago and here I am putting it out there as something that I will try to do, that in itself to me is a victory. I feel like a puppy right now, and what I mean by that is have you ever noticed how a puppy is so eager to just run and play? that wide eyed silly look they get when something shiny catches their attention and they just take off chasing shadows? well I don't know if it is cabin fever, or maybe the fact that its been in the high 40's here lately and the snow is melting and I am getting that feeling that comes when spring happens but yesterday I was in my driveway and I looked out at the road and felt like I should run, I honestly felt like I should just take off and run as far as I could just to do it.

181 pounds ago I would think about running and literally feel drained just from thinking about it! thats the god honest truth too! my body knew better, my brain sent the message down to my legs and they just rolled their eyes and shook their head at the silly idea that the brain had and defeated I would lumber slowly to where ever it was that I needed to go. The differences from then to now prove that I am a different person from then and that is my inspiration.

As I typed this out I decided that I would take a walk when I clicked publish and thats what I will do, chest cold be damned I have missed this entire week because of it, maybe some fresh air is whats needed, maybe I will bring my camera along and snap a few shots for an afternoon post. So until next time, keep hydrated and remember that weight loss happens when we make it so, have that glass of H2O and keep on keepin on.

As Ever
Me

Run Forest Run!!

Still feeling yuck and still staying positive despite that fact, Monday showed me my first on the button 1850 calorie day on paper but it is more than that because of the honey that I am not counting towards my total as well as the evening shot of Brandy that’s going into my tea. Over all I am feeling ok other than the stuffy nose, sore throat and a cough and I am taking it easy until this is gone. I am feeling good about this weight loss thing and a couple nights ago my Brother in law was here, he had dinner with us and he looked at the photos that I have on the sidebar of this blog and said "wow you can really notice the difference when you look at the old pics, I didn't even realize how big of a difference there was" or something like that and I thought about just how different everything is now from then and it was cool to hear someone notice the difference.

The one thing that is getting to me and my wife said it last night to my son "I think Dad and your sister are having a bit of cabin fever" because we were talking about "summer activities" that we were going to do, and this week its been in the 40's and 50's here and the snow is finally melting away so the new place looks like a new place again! All I know is how it looks covered in snow! But this cold or whatever it is has kept me inside for the most part because I do not want to prolong it and am waiting for it to run its course so that I can start walking again. I actually feel guilty for not riding my stationary bike imagine that! Feeling guilty for not exercising! I love the fact that I feel guilty for not exercising because it means that somewhere inside me something clicked, it is what I should be doing and the way that I do things is completely different now from 13 months ago. I can remember not too long ago when talking to people, friends, family the question would come up "you lost xxx how much did you start out it?" and I would shy away from the question and just say something ambiguous like "a lot!" and no one would push and now in the last 2 weeks I have told at least 5 people that personally know me how much I weigh currently and its not something that I care about any more. When you weigh a quarter ton (holy shit a quarter ton?!?!) ya tend to be a little self conscious about that fact but lately I just don't care, and maybe its that sense of accomplishment that one feels when losing 181 pounds or maybe I have just come to a point where it is what it is and I just don't care any more who knows.

To summarize I would say that even though I am under the weather all is well and for the most part on track besides the exercise of course. I do want to run that 5k race by years end even though as I have mentioned before I am unsure if its something that is good for my body, because even at 300 pounds which is where I am shooting for by June and is when I want to start running instead of walking I will still in fact be heavy and would hate to damage a knee or my back by pushing too hard too soon. I read a lot of blogs and one that I have recently found that has really given me the bug is Andrewisgettingfit.com, Andrew comments here on my blog sometimes and I found his blog through his comments to me, check it out for yourself he has accomplished a lot, the photos of where he runs are always beautiful and I hope that one day I am able to pop some pictures of my own up as I am running around CT because we have some great scenery here too.

The end of another post has come and of course that means that you have earned another glass of H2O so get on up and grab it and I will drink the rest of the green tea in my glass. Thanks for following along and thanks for the support that gets left via your comments etc it helps more than you know.

As Ever

Me

Ya say that jacket from high school fits?!? yes!

This weekend I had plans to go out with some old friends from High school and have dinner, I had planned on a steak and potato dinner but the fact that I have been laying under a heavy quilt all weekend because of the sore throat that I have had stopped that in its tracks. Being sick @ 350 pounds is much different than at 534 pounds which my wife was glad to point out to me, Saturday I made the suggestion that we go out for a ride just to get some fresh air and we ended up running a few errands and then back to my quilt and brandy laced tea for the evening but where are the differences you might be asking? Well let me tell ya, @ 534 pounds when I got sick (which was much more often than now) the world would have to stop so that I could rest, I would need 14 hours of sleep per night and the rest of the day was literally sitting on the couch or in bed drinking as much orange juice as I could get, the only movement that would be given was the movement that HAD to be given because of the mess that would have happened if I didn't move my arse to go to the bathroom. I would get a cold and still have it 2 weeks later all the while the universe was at a stand still because of it, the stark differences in then and now are obvious to me as well as Wify and I know this all by the look I got from her when the subject was brought up! Being healthy (or should I say healthier) has more benefits than expected and honestly being sick longer than normal because of the distress my body was in thing never even dawned on me, with that said though my throat is still very raw and sore this morning but Wify said that I sounded better so hopefully it will only be another day or two before I am back to normal. Everything is where it should be besides the exercise or lack there of, The warmer weather that is just around the bend will be welcomed by me and the small patch of lawn that I can see through the melting snow makes me glad that spring is on the way! With spring will come many hours of manual labor in the new yard, lots of walks around the lake and some hiking for sure, all of which will help the weight come off while making our new place exactly what we want.

I want to talk about the extra skin deal that comes with this weight loss gig for a paragraph or so, My back has been itching me for the last couple of weeks and I couldn't think of any reason why until I mentioned it to my wife, she said something about a preggo belly and how it itched etc and then said that its probably the skin doing its elasticity thang, so for the past few nights she has been giving me a back rub with some lotion which I am hating every minute of by the way, but anything for the weight loss right? (Insert evil grin here) This seems to be doing the trick, though it still itches a bit it is at least 75% less itchy since she has been doing that for me. At times I think about the loose skin and feel like there is no way that at 265 pounds I will be happy with how it looks and feels on me and there are times that I think that it will all be ok and it will stretch back to a reasonable amount of looseness and I will just live with it, this is fast becoming something that I think about as the weight comes off and decision that will be made in a couple years time after my body has had ample time to recuperate from the stress its been under for all of these years.

Which brings me to my next point and something that I am more than excited about! Though in the past three months the weight loss has slowed as far as the raw numbers go I am shrinking every day and I only know this because of the way clothing is fitting, the Jacket that I wore in High school zips up!!! Yesterday I was half kidding when I said to wify "I'm going to try the jacket on" She just looked at me with that "um ok” look so I put it on and when I pulled the zipper together I was honestly amazed that the two sides came together! So I pulled the zipper up and besides being a little short the jacket fit me! I was measured for this jacket when I was 17 years old! Say it with me, seventeen! Years! Old! So this means that I am approximately the same size right now as I was when I was 17! I know I know that’s one helluva big seventeen year old! I honestly did not expect to be able to zip that jacket until I was less than 300 pounds so I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. This lead me to pull some dress shirts out of the closet, now if you are or were a huge fella like me you know the trials of wearing a button up shirt, make sure it is long enough, make sure it stays tucked into your pants because with every movement it creeps out and you have to constantly tuck it back in, sit down? Yep its going to pull out of the back of your pants so plan how and when you will stand up so that you can tuck it when no one is looking and that’s IF you can find one long enough to even tuck in! Can I sit down without sending someone to the hospital with a button injury? The other option is leave it untucked and look sloppy, or keep your jacket buttoned over it to slightly hide the fact that its not tucked in but you know that its sloppy and everyone that notices knows this too, yep its not fun but let me get back to the good part of this, I pull out some of my old dress shirts and they ALL fit me! Some were a bit short but they all buttoned up with more than enough room to sit without worrying about taking someone’s eye out with a button merely from having a seat!

To be 534 pounds vs. 353 pounds is different worlds on more levels than you could possibly know if you haven't walked that walk and I wish it upon nobody because it is not a pleasant experience to be on the heavy side of that statement. This post has gone long enough so it shall end here, I did not get any weekend posts up because of the falling of the laptop so this was slightly longer than normal and for that you should drink TWO glasses of H2O! See, there was a rainbow at the end of this very long post for ya! Thank you for following along and the support is appreciated!

As Ever
Me

Weighing in, thats all I got for a title today.

I made it to Friday (did I think I wouldn't?) so you know what that means its weigh in day and week one, well I started in the middle of the week but you get the idea, week one of the upping the calories experiment. As I do every Friday its wake up, rest room and straight to the scale and the first time on it read 354.o on the nose but I looked down and noticed that I was wearing my heavy sweat shorts and socks (which is not what I wear for weigh in) so off went the socks and shorts and now its just skivvys and a tee shirt and 353.2 flashes across the display, attempt number two was the same as well as third times a charm, so .8 of a pound loss this week so I will take it down to 353 on my "current weight" not so bad and kind of what I expected, I honestly would not have been surprised at a no loss week because of the weekend that I had. This mornings weigh in brings me to 181 total pounds lost which leaves 78 to go for me to reach 275 pounds my original goal.

Last night right before bed my throat started to hurt and I can't have that! I want to up the exercise this week remember? so I made myself a big cup of hot green tea and added a bit of the good stuff, about a tablespoon of Honey and slightly more than a shot of Easy Jesus AKA E&J Brandy. I slept like a baby and honestly woke up feeling better but my throat is still a little dry feeling so as I write this I am having another cup of hot green tea sans the E&J of course but the honey seems to be helping. With some hope and lots of honey laced green tea I am thinking that this will be gone by tomorrow morning and I can keep with my plan to exercise more this week.

Here is a 353 pound yellow fin tuna for your viewing pleasure, he and I weigh the same at the time of his death.

This Honda Rukus comes in at 181 pounds which is what I have lost so far it is unbelievable to me that I was toting a scooter around on my back for all that time!

Over all I am on schedule (like there is an actual schedule I am following) and honestly I have done nothing in the way of real exercise this week besides painting and the every day house work so that .8 of a pound is 100% on diet for the most part which I guess wouldn't be 100% but maybe 92% yeah that sounds right. Besides .8 of a pound is a good loss, I mean its not a 3 pound week but a loss is a loss is how I see it at this stage of the game. There are going to be weeks that the losses are big and then there will be small loss weeks as well as no loss weeks even and I am on month 14 so this is no news to me! Now this week should be interesting because other than the throat (which hopefully will go away quickly) the only thing that I am doing that could be negative to the weight loss is dinner out on Saturday which is in the beginning of the week so I have time to recoup if I go overboard a bit.

Yesterday I only made it to 1700 calories and I tried! but I had to eat a pair of apples around 8pm to even get that number! I am not adjusting to this up in calories well because I have eaten @1700 for so long its a mental thing for me, I kind of know how much is going to bring me over and I am stopping there (mentally) so I will need to adjust the "mental" part of this up in calories. With that we have come to the end of another week and another post, I hope you all had a good week and a good weigh in, stay healthy, keep on moving and well you know the rest! You have earned another big ol glass of H2O so get on up and grab it.

As Ever
Me

Weight loss or Wait loss? Just do it.

Tomorrow I weigh in again and I am not expecting much on the scale as far as a loss goes, last weekend was not good and then I raised my calorie to 1850 per day and I do not believe that there will be a huge difference if any at all this week. Then on Saturday I am suppose to be meeting some old friends for dinner so I am expecting a not so good Dinner then either, I will in fact try and stay as low as possible throughout the day but dinner is off limits as far as counting goes, I will of course make good decisions like having unsweetened tea with splenda to drink and I will likely get a steak and baked potato which I can estimate the calories but no actual numbers will be known. What I WILL do because of the dinner on Saturday is workout harder this week, I will ride my bike every day instead of the normal 5 times, I am also planning on some walks over the weekend as it is suppose to warm up so just because I am going to enjoy a larger than normal dinner on Saturday doesn't mean I have to give up the weight loss regimen.

Looking out the big picture window in my living room I right now see a frozen lake covered with snow and cannot help but think about how in a couple of months the ice and snow will be gone and I will have a great place to start my walks again, I hope to turn the walks into runs this year but @ 300 pounds I am unsure how good of an idea running will be. In addition to the scenic route for a walk about I will have access at the cost of a stroll across the street a lake to swim in all summer! but back to the walking, the plan is to walk every day on top of my bike rides and the plan is to take a walk during the morning with my daughter, in her stroller of course so that I can keep a good 3+ mph pace and then ride my bike in the evening again like I am doing now. I have been hearing a lot about this couch to 5k thing and I may give that a try come warmer months because as you may or may not know depending on how new you are to reading my blog I want to run (yes run) a 5k race by years end, am I crazy for thinking that I can do that at my weight? maybe and it will surely be a lot of work but hey what fun is anything if its a given?

I am taking mine, how about you?

Soon enough this will become a weight loss maintenance based blog and I will be at my goal weight or further into health and I will be able to look back at each step that was taken to get there. Before long I will not recognize the fella looking back at me in the mirror as I am just being reintroduced to the guy that I knew years ago and looking at pictures that have been taken along the way on this weight loss journey I am seeing pictures that at the time I thought "wow I am really losing this weight" and I look at them now and I am so much bigger than my current weight. I am very curious to see what I look like at say 265 pounds or even less, because I am sure that I will look back through the photos of me now and think "wow I was big then" I actually carry a picture of myself on my cell phone that I can look at to remind me where I was and it has a picture of my current self photoshopped next to it, which I look at often.

Finding that this thing called weight loss is not some impossible thing is eye opening to me and I honestly have only that one regret, that I did not start sooner. There was no reason to wait to eat better, sure I had an injury that stopped me from doing physical workouts but there was no reason that I couldn't adjust my eating habits during that time. If you are reading this and think that you cannot do it, you are wrong, I felt the exact same way just 13 months ago and was actually scared that I was going to have more than just a round gut from eating unhealthy, death was something that entered my thoughts from time to time when I moved just a bit out of my comfort zone, just enough to let my heart know that I was moving. This side of the fence is much more comforting than the one where a 534 pound man resided because if I can feel this good at 355 pounds I cannot imagine what 265 will feel like.

As Ever
Me

Wednesday morning quarterback?

Day one of the 1850 calorie experiment went ok but I did feel like I ate too much, which is insane because I didn't actually make it to 1850 calories exactly and it is after all only 150 calories extra. I ate until full and I did get a ride on the bike into the day as well as some late night snow shoveling, yes we got more snow and it was suppose to get very cold last night and the man in the magic plastic box said that it would be solid by the am so after the biggest loser I went out and cleaned off the car and shoveled the driveway so that was some bonus movement for the day. I find it odd that upping the intake by a mere 150 calories made me feel like I ate too much but I guess when you eat 1700 for just about a whole year making that change should feel a bit different, Have a look at the menu from Yesterday.

02/04/09

Breakfast
7:45 AM
2 multi-grain english muffins 200
1 serving turkey pepperoni 70
2 wedges laughing cow 70
sliced tomato/dill pickle 20

9:00 AM
Dannon yogurt 80

Lunch
12:15 PM
2 slices whole wheat bread 140
1 T peanut butter 95
1 T jam 50

2:00 PM
1 pear 80

3:15 PM
2oz jax 280

Dinner
6:30 PM
2 80 calorie rolls 160
5.5oz ground turkey/sloppy joe 245
7oz potatoes 175

All day
1 gallon blueberry green tea 80

1745 calories total but I did have a spoon full (slightly more than a bite) of some Turkey hill ice cream so that 1745 is not a true number but close enough and I know that I did not go over the limit with that bite. I have a feeling that the weight loss this week will not be a very high number, let me splain. As I mentioned in an earlier post I had a bad weekend intake wise and I was up in weight on Monday mornings weigh in by a couple pounds which was partially just retention but I know that I ate wrong and too much which was the main contributer to the "up". Since Monday I have steadily come down in weight creeping back towards the 354 that showed up on the scale Friday but I am still above that number, this morning I was 355.0 pounds exactly which is down from yesterday mornings weight of 355.6 so it is going in the right direction and feels like the normal fluctuation that happens each week if not a bit on the high end of it. Am I worried about this? not in the least because in the grand scheme its just a little experiment with calorie levels that if it doesn't turn out to be a good decision we just go back to the 1700.



Over all the goal is in sight and the program keeps on keepin on, I am fairly certain that I will hit my goal of 300 pounds by Junes end. the local weather appears to be on and off but such is life in New England, we had snow last night and all day yesterday and by Sunday it should be in the high 40's or low 50's and thats walkin weather! If so I will have myself a nice walk this weekend which will hopefully kick start me into 4 pound loss weeks (dreaming I know) but hey! why not? its happened before. That concludes this Wednesday morning post, I primed the hallway on the first floor of the new place yesterday and its time to finish up and get some paint over it so I am off to do so. You know the drill, H2O + You = Hydrated so get on it!

As Ever
Me

Changing the program a bit. oh My!

In my quest for better health I have found that tweaking the program from time to time is necessary every now and again, so with that Ch ch ch ch changes are on the way. Nothing too drastic at all really but I will be afforded more fuel on any given day in the way of 150 extra calories. Thats right I am going to try 1850 calories per day for a week or two because I have accidentally (yeah we will call it an accident) raised my caloric level over the past couple days with no ill effect and since I am exercising more regularly again I don't think that the extra intake is all too bad. Now I do expect something to happen with the weight this week and possibly next the what is the question, will I gain a bit by this Friday? will I lose more this week because of the up in intake? maybe a no loss but no gain situation? clairvoyant I am not but I am interested in whatever the case may be. This will be the third time that I have adjusted my calories since starting back in January 2008, the first change was when I went from 1200 to 1500 and had absolutely no idea where to start, then I went from 1500 to 1700 which as you know is where I currently am so this will be number three going from 1700 to 1850 per day.

Chatting with my wife yesterday about how she is going to get back to strict eating habits after maintaining for a couple months and she said that it must be hard for me to stay this strict with my intake for so long seeing as its more than a year now, I said something that put it into perspective, I responded to her "I plan on eating like this for the rest of my life so this is just the beginning" at which time it dawned on me that I have made drastic changes in the way that I do everything health related in my life. Coming from someone that just 13 months ago would walk for 5 minutes and feeling as if his back was going to explode as sweat beaded on his brow and heart thumped in chest to where I am today, a fellow that is planning on a 5k race by the end of the year is a contrast that I welcome into my life. Driving by a Wendy's or Burger King use to be a chance to grab a quick snack consisting of a couple items off of the fat growing 99 cents menu between meals where as now I wouldn't stop there for anything. Instead of that next level in a video game or the fact that McNasty has Mcribs back on the menu being something that I look forward to it is now the cool little bridge or the tree with little flowers all over it that I found while hiking or the fact that I shaved a couple minutes off of my walk while increasing the distance that gets me motivated. I jump at the chance to do physical work right now and look forward to the spring getting here so that I can start working in our new yard.

Here is that flowered tree I found last spring that I mentioned.

I am finding parallels in my life and the lives of some of the other men in my family, I was recently talking to my Mother and she told me that my father was once a pretty hefty guy and was told to lose weight by a doc for his blood pressure etc. Now I do remember my father going to the YMCA often as a kid I do not remember him being a "fat" guy and talking to my father he told me a story of an uncle of his that was also told that it was time to get some movement into his life for healths sake and he said that his uncle for exercise had a huge stone slab which are everywhere here in CT in his back yard (if you live in New England you know what I am talking about) and after going to work all day he would come home and break the slab apart. when he was done made a stone wall around his house with the broken rocks to give you an idea of the size of the slab, so he ended up with a big clear back yard and a nice new stone wall to go with his better health. That stone wall story gave me an idea well actually it gave my father an idea which sparked my idea, our back yard goes from driveway to a hill that leads into the back yard, My dad told me that I should dig out a parking space in that area for my mustang which would mean a TON of manual work and I believe that by next winter I will have that spot dug out of the hill. If I were the me that I was 13 months ago I would read what I just wrote and think "man that guy is nuts" and yet here I am THAT guy.

I will resume posting daily menus with tomorrows post with the new 1850 calorie limit on them, don't forget that H2O and I think that will conclude another bone chilling episode, meet us back here tomorrow at the same bat time same bat channel kids to find out if Fat man and Blobbin save the day.

As Ever
Me

Easy like Sunday morning..

This weekend was a busy one as you might be able to tell from my lack of posts, we decided that it was time to paint my daughters bedroom and what we ended up with is as my wife says "a catalog look" I took some before pictures but I haven't taken any afters yet because we ordered a border to put on the walls and when it gets here look for some pics. Ok ok enough about the three year olds room how did your food go this weekend you ask? welp lets say I was not really "on track" it all started Friday, I was at my mother in laws place and she offered me a beer and I agreed and went over calories exactly one beer so Friday was not really too bad. Then there was Saturday which started off well enough with a bowl of Honey combs cereal (which by the way if you don't know is a low calorie very tasty cereal!) but then I was given a bowl of home made beef stew and didn't know how many calories was in it so I figured it high but then the day kind of just went the way of not counting the calories. I don't think I went too far above on Saturday but I was definitely higher than 1700 which ended with a big bowl of popcorn that went perfectly with the movie we watched. Sunday was a different story completely, again breakfast started off ok but as the day progressed I noticed that I wasn't counting the calories that I was eating past mentally noting what had gone down the chute. Dinner was a noodle soup that I made which also started off well enough, I measured my 2 cup portion but was not satisfied with it and had another cup and remember I haven't written down any calories for the day yet! I KNOW that I was way above Sunday where my intake is concerned. We are back on track this morning and I am writing the intake down again, sometimes I have a weekend or a day like that where I just pretty much eat ok (usually a bit higher) but don't count the calories exactly.

I mentioned that we painted my daughters room and I have to mention that I am sore from it! I do not think that the soreness is from when we painted the walls, I used a roller for that but I did paint sort of a mural on her door which took about 45 minutes to paint and another 15 to sketch onto the panels and this is something that I underestimated the power of. My calf is sore from tippy toeing to get the right angle, my core knows that it has done something from all of the holding steady in a position to get straight lines onto the door panels and I am just feeling it in general in spots that normally go under the radar which makes me think. I have a funny feeling that some yoga may be in my future because its what I can equate to how my body feels, like if I were to do yoga, of course I have never really "done" yoga so I am just assuming this is how it would feel.

Over all not a great weekend food wise but not the worse in the world either, but then again this is a lifestyle change and not a diet so in that I am not limited in what or how I can eat. I am still on track to hit that goal of being 300 pounds by the end of June and with the start of February I am a month closer to warmer weather and some hiking, Wify is going to join me this year in my hikes and we bought some "gear" over the winter months so that we can enjoy our hikes a bit more. Living out in the boonies will afford us the pleasure of plenty places to hike (I think) and there is a large wooded area right behind our home now that can be used for the purpose of short hikes with the kiddos, you know conditioning them for longer ones! and with that ends the Monday edition of this old couch, thank you for reading and don't forget that H2O that you just earned for making it through another post!

As Ever
Me