Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Who are you?

Perception is an amazing thing, sometimes two different people can see the exact same situation completely differently. At 534 pounds I was miserable, at that weight the whole world was looking at me every minute of every day even inside my own home, whether this was true or not is arguable but none the less. Now at 355 pounds that focus is no longer on me in my mind, I am part of the "normal crowd" albeit I am on the large side of that graph I do not feel like I have a beacon on my head along with a giant neon arrow pointing at me assuring that every person in the area is staring at me, confidence is at its height currently and there is really no way to drag me down. The other side of that coin is that at 534 pounds I was inside my house more than I am now so really who was "staring" at me? and at 355 pounds I AM still usually one of the bigger gentlemen in the crowd, the difference is where I am at inside my head. I know that I am eating healthy, I know that I exercise regularly, I know that just a year ago I was much heavier and that leaves a great amount of positivity floating around the air in my general vacinity.

Over this weekend My wife and I had dinner with her sister and father, he was telling a story about a seminar that he went to and how an episode of babylon 5 used the same concept in the story line, long story short Jack the ripper was given the chance to redeem himself if he was able to find the saviour of the universe, so he cruised around the universe for thousands of years asking people "who are you?" and apparently shocking them sometimes to death until they answered correctly, or something along those lines according to my father in law, I have never seen the show, I don't think my father in law was being shocked at his seminar but the question in his story caught my attention. Who are you? I am the man that has control of his own life again, But who are you? I am in charge again after being relieved of the reigns for far too long, But who ARE you? I AM Zeusmeatball! but WHO ARE you!! ok I missed the whole concept of what my father in law was talking about because of the children and if it was Mr. Ripper I may have been shocked to death but my point is that it made me think about who I am now compared to when I was extremely over weight.

True enough I am the same person but I do not feel like the same person, I am Me again, I have the option to make the decisions again based not on the fact that I could not walk for the 20 minutes that it would take to make that walk to the broken bridge so I have to make up an excuse as to why I did not want to go, but based instead on the fact that I WANT to go see the broken bridge so I go, I have my life back.

Onto some of how my week has been going, I have eaten no more than 1700 calories per day for the past few days and have walked a lot this week, my wife has been coming with me on the walks and I have to admit that I enjoy the company. We walked 1.8 miles last night in 30 minutes which brings us to about 3.4 mph which isn't too bad for a walk. The scale is starting to come down again and I am approaching my lowest weight again as of this mornings jump on the scale, ships have left port and hopefully the shipping lanes stay open from here on out. If I can get back to 353 pounds for this Friday I will be happy with that as I have been hovering a few pounds higher than that for the past week and frankly I need to see it below 353! We are expecting snow this afternoon so back to the bike for movement today which is ok because I haven't ridden it for a week because the weather has been cooperating and walks have been on the plate.

Over all it has been a good week where movement is concerned, the ships have sailed and the weight seems to be moving again, I am looking forward to Friday for weigh in and have a feeling that I will meet the 353 mark again if not go below that weight. Thanks for following along and its time for that glass of H2O so get on up and grab some.

As Ever


  1. Glad to hear you're having a good week. So guess you didn't need that fiber one cereal after all lol. Hope weigh-in is great this week.

    So who am I? Sometimes I wonder. I feel like I go back and forth from the old me to the now me. It drives me nuts sometimes. I know deep down I'm still the same person mentally but I'd like to think I'm a whole lot stronger mentally and physically now and that I can over come the old me emotions that drove me to 378 lbs. Anyway, I guess the answer is I'm still not sure who I am lol. But hopefully I'll eventually figure it out.

  2. Great post! Gives me something to think about.

  3. I'd been reading your blog for a little while now and just looked at your numbers. Your weight loss is amazing!

    Who are you? Who am **I**! I am the **I** that's always been ME - the spirit inside a body that gets big, gets small, breaks a chair by sitting on it, walks up a flight of stairs without huffing as much as I used to. It doesn't matter so much what the outside of ME looks like, just if I can do what I want to using the body I have at any given moment.

    Good post. Thanks for the chance to think. Vee at

  4. I enjoy reading your column, keep up the good work. How about a challenge for this weeks weigh in? I will drink some water onS my ride to work today for reading your post.