Its my blog and I'll cry if I want to.

See that wagon over yonder? yep I fell off of it last night. between being sick, and some other things going on it was easier to grab a pizza for dinner yesterday which wouldn't have been all too bad but it didn't stop there. This blog is about staying honest for me so thats how it will go down, I will just list the foods, this is not for the faint of heart! My day started out well enough and by dinner time I had eaten a total of 855 calories and with the fact that I was going to go back to 1700 yesterday I was left with 845 for the remainder of the evening. The bottom line is that I let stress (unrelated to weight loss) get to me and said screw it, lets order a pizza, and that we did. 20 minutes later a bacon pizza was in my kitchen and I ate 5 slices, that was NOT a typo, 5 slices! granted they were small slices and maybe 2 made up a single slice of a New York style pie but that is no excuse! admittingly not my finest moment, but like I said this blog is about putting it out there for me. As the evening progressed I found myself wandering around the kitchen and grabbed a cereal bar, then another so now on top of the pizza there are two cereal bars tossed down my gullet. Hey Mister Meatball thats not all that terrible you did have 845 calories and we are all human right? wrong! it was honey comb time, yep 2 bowls of honey combs! (3 cups worth) see how the snow ball happens? ah ha but we are not done yet, I haven't told you about the M&M's or the Valentines chocolate that finished the buffet off! yes I had a handful of M&M's and a single chocolate out of a Russel stovers Valentine heart. The bottom line is that ball thats rolling across the playground, yep it was me that dropped it, I will not beat myself up over this but, it is my friends a binge. Stress eating, emotional eating, or maybe just a fat guy on the loose whatever you call it this is NOT how I need to be eating to maintain a healthy life.

Weigh in reflected the smorgasbord as well, I am up 3 pounds, the scale told me to get the hell off this morning and I deserved the stern voice, thats right 356 flashed across the screen and since that buffet happoened pretty much before bed I am betting at least part of it is bloated because of that so I will weigh myself again tomorrow morning to get a closer estimate. That 356 may as well have been 556 this morning for the way I feel about it, I can accept that it is what it is but I am disappointed in myself for the late feast yesterday and almost feel like I deserve this gain for my lack of discipline.

I am not beating myself up over this for the most part but as I mentioned this blog was started as a way for me to stay honest by putting my progress, or in this case lack there of out in the open, I know why it happened and that is the important part but it is nothing that HAD to happen, I let things out of my control grab the wheel for a short stint and fat Tony saw and snatched at the chance.

Does any of this mean that I am going to start in on a regimen of pizza and cheeseburgers? nope, its just a bump in the road on a long trip so no worries and I hopped back on that wagon this morning and know what I did so its all good. In fact because of this I feel as if I owe it to myself to up the movement this week (as long as this chest thing keeps slowing down) and am planning on walking plus biking all week every day as soon as my chest agrees to the terms, I weighed 356 pounds and thats all it is, this is not the first time I have seen a gain on this trip to the half and it has after all been a rough week between being sick, upping my calories for a little experiment and that ugly thing called stress popping in for a visit it was bound to happen (sure sure fat man tell yourself it wasn't the pizza!) either way its just another day in the life of Mister Meatball so hop on up and grab yourself that big ol glass of H2O and know that I am doubling up on my fluids today in protest of this gain, so until next time!

As Ever
Me