As the Fat guy turns... a new chapter?

Well well well, look who we have here, it is I, the writer of this here blog! My absence can be explained by the "October Nor'easter" that we here in Connecticut experienced just before Halloween, you know the one that knocked the power out of about 90% of the state? I was one of the lucky 10% that did not lose power and was grateful for that fact! and that is not the reason for my lack of posts, a much more sinister reason kept me from the blog. As many of you know that have read this blog for a while I have a back injury that I talked about a while back in This Post and since the initial injury back in 2000 its flared up a time or two and put me out of action and that snow storm helped it kick my ass once again. Shoveling snow has not been an issue for me all last year, even through that 2 foot drop of snow last January yet 8 inches of the cold stuff took me out for more than a week this go around. The wrong angle paired with a went out too soon ie: not warmed up back equaled soreness that has not been felt in about 3 years when I had another such even in my back and I was literally in bed for the last week. Sunday I was able to get out of bed and now here it is Wednesday and I am ok walking around and only in slight pain so we're getting there.

I have stayed o track with my eating since I hurt myself in the snow and my weight has come down in that time to the lowest weight that I have been in months so that's in order. This time of year is the BEST riding weather and I have my brandy new Gary Fisher Xcal sitting in the living room taunting me every time I look in its direction, my back is keeping me from riding it and its driving me nuts! its quite depressing thinking about the new bike and lack of riding that is going on currently but its something that I gotta deal with until my back decides to get in the game again. For the last week I have been online shopping my pain and frustration away buying little blue bits for the bike in place of being able to ride it and Wify is none too happy about that, I mean seriously, did I NEED the Salsa Liplock seat clamp just because it matches the bike? nope but it looks good and stole the bad mood away whilst giving me something to do (waiting for that brown truck) so it is what it is. Today is as I said the first day where I am comfortable enough to sit down at the computer and write a post and in the interest of staying on track I figured that I would pop on for some words.

Here is a look at my menu from yesterday.

Breakfast
7:30 AM
coffee/creamer 90

9:45 AM
1 C almond milk 90
2 C apple cin Cheerios 240

Lunch
1:15 PM
Turkey Subway w/Veggies 580

3:45 PM
2 slices Hearty wheat bread 160
1 T peanut butter 100
1 T grape jelly 60

Dinner
6:15 PM
1 C white rice 200
Mixed veggies 200

Grand total of 1720 calories, that Turkey Subway was eaten during a movie and not all at once so the 1:15 to 3:45 time is not as spread out as it seems.

I have to admit that I am getting a bit down because of the injury and the lack of riding but trying to keep a good outlook on the situation, I have to keep reminding myself that its just a bump in the road and I've been here before with this injury. My motivation is high for the moment and I don't see it changing, after all if I can have a week like I have had and still be for the most part positive I am in the right state of mind with my health. Getting back onto two wheels will definitely help my mood but that is a venture that will have to happen in due time... have I mentioned that I am upset that I can't ride my bike? oh yeah I did.... better than being unhappy that I can't have the apple pie in the refrigerator I suppose.

There it is, an update from the fat man, I will try again tomorrow to get some more posted but it will all be determined by how the old back is feeling then. Thanks for the support and kind words they are always appreciated (I got a really cool email last week that made me think about some things) so don't be afraid or shy to click that leave a comment button!

That's all I got for today, Blobbin... fire up that Fatmobile, we're outta here.....

As Ever
Me

Schwinn Crisscross Project and some talk from the fat guy.

I have posted images of the Schwinn Crisscross that I bought back in January before and am doing a sort of walk through on the build up... if you want to call it that, this post will touch on that project. The last post about the bike I had picked up a set of Suntour X press shifters for it, well, I had some free time and installed the shifter that the bike needed along with a brake lever to go with it because it had one of those Shimano brake lever/shifter combo dealies on it and to top it off it was broken. I also put a rear rack on but it was taken off of another bike that I sold last year and it appears that the rack is for a 26 inch tire bike, at least if I want to add fenders it is as there is only about 1/2 inch of space between the 700c x 38 tire and the bottom of the rack. I was looking to 1.) do this project as cheaply as possible 2.) make it into a commuter type bike of sorts so that I can use it to run down to the local store for random stuff and 3.) using mostly parts that I have on hand from my "stock pile" of bike stuff. Adding fenders is kind of important to me for more than one reason so I may end up having to buy a new rack if I can't stuff a set of fenders between the rack and tire.

Full on side shot with the new/old rack and shifter/brake lever installed.

Check out the rack on her!

New X-press shifter installed and adjusted, you can see on the clamp that holds the brake on that I had to scavenge a bolt from a different lever and it is a bit too long, I will fix this eventually.

The new shifter and brake lever work great but the cable routing is a little off but will be addressed when I change the handlebars, I have a set of riser bars that I am swapping onto the bike next.

Funny enough I just happened to have a Dia Compe XCT brake lever set in my Box O stuff so it matches pretty close to the Dia Compe XCM that was on the rear brakes, I may swap the XCM to the other XCT eventually just so it all matches. I needed to cannibalize another frame that I have laying around to get a barrel nut for the brake lever and will eventually replace it with the correct nut but for now what I have on there does work and since this is a budget friendly project hey! it is what it is. Taking the bike for a quick spin down the street showed me that it shifts great and actually feels pretty good as far as fit for me goes, If I end up riding this bike around on a regular basis once its completed I may go as far as getting a better wheel set for it because of how comfortable it feels when riding. .

Some future plans for the bike.

*Fenders
*Front rack
*New seat & possibly seat post
*Pedals
*Grips
*Lights front & rear
*Handlebars
*Change Skewers/seat clamp from quick release to bolt on

Changing gears I want to talk about my weight loss for a moment, For the last few weeks I have been more than on track and the scale is reflecting that with some drops in weight that remind me or the first 6 months of my weight loss program. Feeling extremely focused with my eating staying on task has been fairly easy in the last few weeks, I can't explain it other than saying that I had a little chat with the 534 pound me and we both agreed that I can't go back in that direction. I HAVE to keep my health on the forefront of my thoughts and efforts otherwise the rest crumbles beneath the weight of all of what comes with being an obese man and like I said, I ain't going back to that life. My intake has been very much within the calorie limits that I set for myself and here is a look at the menu from yesterday.

Breakfast
7:30 AM
coffee/creamer 90

9:45 AM
2 C honey combs 220
1 C almond milk 90

Lunch
11:45 AM 3oz grilled chicken 150
1 deli slim 100
1 wedge laughing cow cheese 35

1:15 PM
1 banana 105

2:45 PM
2 slices lite rye 120
3oz deli ham 180
1 wedge laughing cow cheese 35

Dinner
6:15 PM
3 T lite Cesar dressing 90
3 T parm cheese 60
2 100 cal wraps 200
lettuce 10
4oz grilled chicken 200

Grand total of 1685 for the day.

Making my way back down the ladder I have a goal for Jan 1st, I believe it to be realistic yet challenging and posting that weigh in will be interesting how ever it plays out. Me, my bikes and the discipline that I know exists within me says that I will make my goals, not because I want to but because I NEED to and I am the only one that can make it happen.

Make good choices with intake, Exercise, drink much... This is the plan...

As Ever
Me

Straight talk, if you're into excuses don't read this post.

I am having some interesting conversations with myself as I drop this weight... or should I say re-drop the weight, its almost like revisiting an old friend... and I don't necessarily enjoy this friends company but none the less I am here. Slipping back into a rhythm with my eating feels good at this point, I am passing on the treats that are around for the kids and weighing my portions with every meal, even if that means making dinner is a project again. The key to keeping on track for me is to make me first, its funny how that happens huh? its corny when you hear someone say that "You have to make you first" but the statement holds water! When we are not first we let things slip that would be a capitol offense when we're on track and doing the right thing in the realm of our health. I have stresses in my life that I won't get into on a blog that I choose to make public, we all have them so why put mine out there? besides, I would hate to get any comments or emails saying "Poor guy, you go ahead and eat that cupcake, you have a lot going on, when things calm down you will get back on track". I have from the beginning written in this blog in a straight forward manner using common sense as my guide and just because shit got stressful does not mean I will look for pity because of that stress.

I am responsible for what goes into my mouth and its always been that way, its my hand attached to the end of my arm and its my mind that controls that arm so if I eat a pizza, I did it. That's not to say that stress doesn't play a role in what my mind tells my hand to shove down my pie hole but when that does happen, I know who is to blame and it's the same guy that looks at me every morning in the mirror when I am brushing my teeth. I have had a good run at this weight loss thing, I have been writing this blog since January 2008 and in that time have learned a lot about myself and how much discipline I have, what triggers me to "fall off the wagon" and maybe the most important I found out that I am in fact an emotional eater, which is a fact that I would not admit or believe at various points in my life. I am too blunt, direct, dare I say logical to believe that eating is anything more than simply that, eating.... I know that I have said this in the past "I eat because I like food" and that is true to a point but in the last almost four years I can with all honesty say that when I get stressed or upset my best friend is the closest salty food item within reach.

I am not really into excuses, like I said I am a pretty direct person in a don't ask a 3 year old if your ugly kind of way because if you are, that kid will say "yep" and if honest isn't what you want I am not usually the person to ask. That statement has to apply for myself too though and lately I have let things slip and said "awe shucks, its really fuckin' stressful right now, I'll let that one slide" and that needs to never be the case, it is after all partially why I reached that darling little figure of 534 pounds. It's easy to slip off of the edge of a razor and when emotional eating is an issue for a person stress helps the trip up like ice helps a car slide into a pole, if we drive carefully driving on ice isn't really that hard, its harder than when its 70 and sunny sure but not impossible... same concept. I live in New England, LOTS if icy roads here in the winter, I am an excellent driver when it comes to that sort if thing and my driving record reflects that, when I lived in California a bit of rain would have the "Freeways" backed up for miles and people sliding all over the place, they simply did not get the concept of slow down out there let alone how to steer into a slide so there were lots of wrecks. I can equate that to the emotional eating, I learned to drive on ice I need to learn how to manage stress in a way that does not include a fist full of Teddy grahams, for the most part I got it but I do slip and have slipped so sorting that out as quick as possible needs to be mission one.

Gaining weight over years of bad eating choices and a sedentary lifestyle sucked, losing that weight was maybe one of my greatest feats and I gotta tell ya, gaining some of it back sucks as much as the first go around, maybe more even because I know how it feels to be lighter now. Reading some of my old posts reminded me of how those heavier days were, knowing that I could only walk about 1/3 of a mile and looked at it as an awesome thing because before that 5 minutes of walking was a chore really got me, it wasn't that long ago that it was my reality and there is no way I want that to be my existence again. Straight up no bullshit I am not letting that happen, I won't go back to dragging my ass back up some stairs completely out of breath and I am not going to let environmental stresses keep me from reaching my health goals.

I've added the count down timer for my weigh ins back to the left side bar with the date that I am weighing in for the blog again, I weigh myself daily and am keeping a log of that, you will not believe where it was considering I was down to 305 pounds. Whether I blog, or get to the gym, get out for a 25 mile ride or if the walls are falling in on me, I am and will remain focused on me, on my health and on the game plan to get me where I need and want to be physically.

YOU are the one that controls the weight hanging off of your bones, not me, not this blog, and not any stress that may kick you in the balls, your mind is yours just like the decisions are yours, make the right choices, stay focused in lieu of anything that is going around you and success is bound to happen.

That's the plan anyways, now to execute it with surgical precision.

As Ever
Me

Day 1393, yes that says Thirteen Hundred Ninety Three!

Staying on track is the theme of the week for me, I had an awesome week last week and dropped a good amount of weight, got in a nice bike ride on Sunday in lieu of the still broken toe and this week is off to a good start. Sunday we decided to check out a different trail and it did not start off good or end well, Pulling into the trail head my riding buddy says that his tire was flat when he woke up but he pumped it to 60psi so we should be ok. Deciding that it was a good idea to check if the tire had lost air from then until when we got to the trail head we did, less than 40psi so we started the ride by changing his tube, no biggie. I slammed my already broken toe onto a rock near one of the trail head barriers, my camera mount broke because the terrain was not great, we rode through a muddy un-kept trail with lots of branches across the mostly single track section of trail just to get about a mile and a half in to find a dead end via a huge boulder a bunch of tires and .... a swamp. After a quick discussion on our options we decided to head on over to a tow path on the Connecticut river to salvage the day and our ride and that part of the day was awesome.

The new section of trail looked promising enough at the start.

A mile and a half down the muddy, ever thinning trail we found a swamp! time to head back and stick with our original plan of riding the tow path.

Stopped under the railroad tracks on the tow path for a quick drink I'm really diggin' the color scheme of the new bike.

Same place that I took the shot a few posts back with my K2, I figured the new ride needed to pose there too.

Something that I seem to have found my groove with again is the intake, I am pretty spot on with the calorie limits that I have set for myself and am not feeling hungry or "deprived" at all. Falling back on my experience with creating low calorie options for fuel is proving to be the ticket with that one and I am not 100% back into the game yet as I had transitioned into mostly whole foods at one point since starting down the better health path and we're not there just yet. I am depending on quick decently healthy if not slightly processed options for lunches and mid day calories right now because quick and easy yet staying on track trumps eating more calories or getting frustrated and eating too much so deli sandwiches it is for now. I also find that writing down my calories for the day helps keep me in check, in the beginning I used my excel spreadsheet to great success so it only makes sense that I use it again for this "restart" until I get my juju back, and with that here is yesterdays menu.

Breakfast
7:15 AM
coffee/creamer 90

8:45 AM
2 cup honey combs 220
1 C almond milk 90

11:30 AM
2 slices lite Rye 120
3oz deli ham 180
1 wedge laughing cow cheese 35

Lunch
12:30 PM
1 banana 105

2:45 PM
1 oz turkey pepperoni 70
1 wedge laughing cow cheese 35
1 deli slim 100

Dinner
6:15 PM
8oz grilled chicken 400
brussel sprouts 160

Grand total of 1605 calories is almost true.... I did take a couple bites of some pasta that I made on the side with dinner, less than 100 calories for sure but more than nothing so I left the excel sheet at 1605 and let the bites account for the remaining 95 calories.

The menu does need tweaking, I need to stop having that morning cup O joe for one thing, switching the processed stuff back to more whole foods and veggies needs to happen as well, all in good time. Right now I am dropping weight at a rate that is more than motivational for me, I know the tweaks that need to be made and am slipping them in as the days go by. Losing that am cup of coffee gains me nearly 100 calories that I can spend on veggies, taking the deli meat out of my lunch will surely get me feeling a bit better, not that I feel bad but I know when I was mainly on whole foods I felt unstoppable and we need to get back there. Drinking enough has never been an issue for me, I still drink a gallon of green tea per day and at least another half to whole gallon more in straight H2O and or powerade zero throughout the day so that's where it needs to be.

Over all things feel normal again where my intake and drive are the subject, avoiding foods that are bad for me is easier again now that I have refocused myself with the task at hand. Its funny that no matter how far along a person comes when dealing with an extreme weight issue the risk to "fall back" on old habits is there when stressful situations come into the fold. Never claiming to be Super man or a robotic entity that can be programmed I can 100% understand how people that are so driven and diligent with something like this can get sucked back into the spiral of eating bad. Its too easy to just grab that "insert favorite crap food here" when we get in a bleh mood and solve the problem with a paw full of a salty calorie filled band-aid that has nothing to do with the not needed food that we now feel pushing against our cheek.

We all have goals, we all have stress, all we can do is try and balance things so that the goals can be reached and the stresses don't rule the day.

That's all I got..

As Ever
Me

Jump Jump! CrissCross will make ya.... oh wait

Back in Jan of this year I picked up an old Schwinn Crisscross on Craigslist for a mere $35 and have had plans to get it riding again so that I have a bike for when I need to run down to the corner store for a gallon of milk or a Cigar and a bottle of Jack. I figure that I can do some posts about the progress of this bike so anyone interested can watch it transform from something that was ridable as long as you only want 7 gears to a decent bike good for carrying small loads around and general rolling around the neighborhood. The bike has sat dormant for the past however many months because of the shifter that controls the front derailleur which is really wiggida wiggida wiggida wack when you think about it. The problem is the old not made any more Suntour Xpress shifter that I needed to match the rear derailleur shifter was not easy to come across unless I wanted to spend top dollar and well I am cheap so it took a while. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not afraid to search out a great deal, I figure my time is my time and if I can save as much as possible either searching out deals or waiting for one to come along I am no worse for wear and I end up with some killer deals.

The day I got it, this is as the bike stood, see its in good shape, especially for $35

Ebay to the rescue this time around I found a set of NOS Suntour Xpress accushift 6 speed shifters, the Crisscross is a 21 speed but the rear derailleur/shifter looks and functions perfectly so I only need the front shifter from this set. I got the Shifter set for $13 delivered so I am into the bike now for $48 and am planning on reselling the rear shifter on ebay at some point. I am not sure how far I will take this little project but I have been pricing wheel sets out for it and I have lots of odds and ends that I can use on it laying around in Tupperware but the plan is to keep this as budget friendly as possible and see what kind of a bike I can turn it into.

Brandy spankin' NOS shifters, soon enough the one I need will be on the bike.

Cycling has in a way kept me going, anything bicycle interests me and since I can't really do much riding if I weigh 500 pounds it keeps me in check when I am not feeling like staying on track. Taking things apart to see how they fit back together has always been something that i was into so having some bike projects is a great way to distract myself from anything that is stressful in my life and I am planning to use it as a tool to help keep me on track. Since this is after all a blog about a fat guy taking the weight off (putting it on and then again taking it off lately) I wanted to pop my menu from yesterday up here for anyone who cares to see it. I hit 1730 calories for the day which is ok since I aim for between 1700 and 1800 total for any given day, here is a look at how yesterday played out.

Breakfast
7:30 AM
coffee/creamer 90

8:45 AM
2 C Honey combs 220
1 C milk 110

11:45 AM
2 slices lite Rye 120
3oz deli ham 180
1 wedge laughing cow cheese 35

Lunch
1:00 PM
1 banana 105

4:00 PM
Healthy choice Café steamer 300

Dinner
6:15 PM
6oz baked breaded haddock 380
1 C southwest corn 120

7:30 PM
boiled egg 70

1730 total calories for the day.

Of course I had my green tea, that is something that has not changed no matter how off my eating is, I do not drink my calories! I do drink a gallon of green tea per day and another gallon of H20/Powerade zero on top of that with some Pepsi max or some other diet soda tossed in now and again... yeah yeah I'm working on getting off of the diet soda again! I went almost 3 years without it and just recently started indulging again.

Yesterdays post I got a couple comments and was going to respond but I cannot respond to comments for some reason so I need to sort that out so that I can leave comments on my own blog! My restart? yeah lets call it that, has been good so far and I am able to separate any outside stresses from my health plan, I think that focusing on my bikes is helping as well and this Crisscross project I think will give me something to focus on.

Thanks for the support and for stopping by to read the musings of a fat guy and his bikes..

Until next time.... That's all I got...

As Ever
Daddy Mac

Going oldschool, back to basics and a menu posting.

When I started writing this blog I was a guy that had no other options, I mean I had options, I could have gotten a surgery or let things go the way that they were heading and prepare for the imminent grenading of my heart but I had to do something. I started writing here in an attempt to stay focused and put out there the struggles of a guy that was really having a hard time of getting around and anything that required movement honestly, not to mention the fact that I was watching life go by from the un-comfort of my broken couch. A lot has changed since I started writing back in January 2008, physical and mental changes, I have gone from unstoppable to questioning the way that I was/am doing things where my health is concerned. The honest truth is that I am up in weight from my lowest point of weighing 305 pounds and will be doing a weigh in post in exactly 72 days, Jan 1st 2012, good bad ugly a weigh in is going to be up, "But why not weigh in now? you use to weigh in every Friday" I did, this time around I have made a personal challenge to myself and am weighing myself every day until then and am planning to post those weights on that weigh in post when the time comes.

Making a personal challenge for myself I think is going to be the ticket for me, there is a new kiddo keeping me on my toes and the older ones are doing the same in their own kind of way. I have to make some time for that 534 pound guy that was struggling with every step, I need to force him and the way things were back then to the surface so that I can refocus on what is important, I somehow keep falling back on the back burnering myself and I need to stop. I have been up and down with my weight in the past I don't even know how many months, within 10 pounds of my lowest weight and as high as 70 pounds heavier and everywhere in between, my personal life has been the same kind of a roller coaster in that time and has impacted my weight loss/health goals for sure, again, its gotta stop because without my health the rest won't really matter much.

Breakfast
7:15 AM
2 T creamer (coffee) 70

8:45 AM
2 C Honey combs 220
1/2 C almond breeze 45

11:45 AM
2 slices light rye 120
3oz smoked deli ham 180
1 wedge Laughing cow cheese 35

Lunch
1:00 PM
1 banana 105

2:15 PM
1 apple 100

4:00 PM
1 banana 105

Dinner
6:15 PM
5oz ground turkey (slop joe) 225
2 80 cal rolls 160
1 cup white rice 200

7:00 PM
2 plums 60

Through the day
dr pepper 10 60

Grand total 1685 total calories.

Exercise is not my issue, bad eating choices most certainly are. The definition of an emotional eater can be seen every time I come within viewing distance of a mirror, stress is my enemy when this is the subject and I need to sort that out. In the beginning I was 500 plus pounds and nothing in our lives could trump that, I was going to die if I didn't do something about it so it was easy to say "I have to be first" but when the perceived risk is lower other things get pushed to the front of the line. Someone reading this that has never struggled with weight might be thinking about how silly it sounds, and I have said it hundreds of times "eat less move more its that simple" Yes I agree that it is that simple but something that it is NOT is easy.

Recommitting to my health has to happen in order for me to be successful in this endeavor, I feel as if I have done that in the last couple of weeks and I couldn't be more into getting out on my bike so exercise is not an issue right now, like I said its the apparent bond that food has with my brain when stress enters stage left that screws the pooch. Making time to write a post on this blog as often as I can (you know, nap time) is on the menu and speaking of menu's I am planning on posting my daily menu's like I did in the beginning as often as I can again, not only do they help me take a look at my intake through the blog but I got plenty of messages about them from you guys!

For today, That's all I got..

As Ever
Me

A trail ride, my new Trek and some more photos.

So, I mentioned in my last post that a new bike was brought into the pile O bikes that I now own and I got to take it out on Saturday for its first ride and my initial opinion on the bike is that I love it. Do I really NEED another bike? yes and no, yes because I feel that my riding had advanced past the K2 that I have been riding and the bike is a couple years old now and since I am me I kind of just wanted a new ride! no because the K2 does what it needs to and has been awesome for me so far but the trigger was pulled on the new bike in either case. I started researching bikes and since I am a fan of the Specialized line up I assumed a Rockhopper comp would be the bike for me but upon test riding one it felt cramped so I kept searching. The Trek Cobia was looking like a clear winner to me after riding a lower end version of the same frame so to the LBS I went, I started chatting with the sales lady and I asked about a last years model Trek X Caliber, she said "let me check". Long story short for a tad more than the 2012 Cobia I could have a 2011 X Cal and I liked the paint scheme better on that anyways not to mention the upgrade in components, the order was placed and a few days later my new bike was ready to be picked up.

There she is, 2011 trek X Caliber Gary Fisher collection.

My plan was to get dropped off at the bike shop and ride the bike home but it was later than I wanted to get there, it was raining and I had no one that was able to drop me off so onto the rack it went and I would have to ride it another time. The bike stared at me..er I stared at the bike as it sat in the living room waiting for Saturday to come and the excitement built up right up until I put it back on the rack Saturday morning to meet my riding buddy at the trail head. A quick once over of the bike when we met up and we were off, we had no real plan on how far we would ride we only wanted to make sure to hop off of the trail at the LBS so that he could buy some pedals for his Jamis. Taking our time we kind of just rode and stopped randomly to let the bikes pose in their natural environment and we ended up riding just under 22 miles, now I really love the bike.

Stopping for a quick break the new Trek next to Ed's Jamis Exile.

One of my favorite shots from the day, I like the way that birch log matches the white on the bike.

A longer shot of the first image that I posted.

Look out! big man coming through!!! 300 pounds plus 20 miles per hour equals a bad day for anyone that gets in the way!

Nice little bridge shot, there were hundreds of geese in the water just to the side of the bridge.

I liked the way that the bikes were positioned in this one, pretty cool picture I think.

Just a little brook with a bridge near the end of the ride, it was a fantastic day for a ride.


Stopping for a rest at one of the trail heads.

My initial thoughts on the new bike is that its well made and VERY comfortable for me, when I first looked at the seat (Bontrager Evoke 1) I thought that it would very likely need to be removed from inside me after a ride but to my surprise it was not uncomfortable during our 22 mile ride. I mentioned in my last post that I did have a little mishap... lets call it a lack of judgement perhaps and ended up with a broken toe on this ride about 12 miles in so I had to ride the 10 miles back to the car with a sore foot, this did not at all take away from my ride, I laughed about it the entire way back and hopefully I am healed up enough to get back out this coming weekend. I have a new set of pedals on order wt the bike shop and I am hoping that they come in this week so that I can ride over there on Saturday and get them put on, I also bought some lock on grips which are already on the bike.

On the surface of my mind almost every time I am riding my bikes I think about how once upon a time I was more than 500 pounds and getting on a bike was not really an option for me. Perhaps I appreciate my time on two wheels as much as I do because of that fact, perhaps its just something that fits me either way my bicycles and my time pedaling them is one of my greatest passions and I don't see that changing any time soon. There are photos of me from when I was 500 plus and most of them I am sitting on a couch or in a chair, not very far from my front door or I use the excuse that "I was holding the camera" now I look at some of the images that I have taken and some of the places that my two wheeled transportation devices have taken me and appreciate every single minute of my time that was spent that way, even when a broken bone was part of it. If you are thinking about getting back onto two wheels my advice would be to stop thinking about it and do it! there is lots to see out there and doing it on top of two wheels is a great way to go about it.

Attempting to post more regularly, stay tuned for more on the fat man, his progress, meal plans and his bikes! don't be afraid to click that leave comment button either!

Until next time, that's all I got.

As Ever
Me

My Passion...yep, and some photos for your pleasure

Spending as much time on my bikes has been my plan to stay on track and that part of the equation has been very much happening. My cycling has been my saving grace in the past couple months, its my me time and honestly besides my kids and the Wify is my greatest passion, I am happiest when I am pedaling my ass off literally and figuratively.

A week ago I rode on a tow path that rides along the Connecticut river, I took it slow because it was the first time I had been on this path and I like to take in the scenery and look around a bit so that's what I did. I only rode 9 miles that day but it was a very relaxing ride with the smell of the salty water in the air and the leaves starting to turn I had lots to take in. I rode my K2 and stopped a few times for some photos, it was a perfect day for a ride about 70 degrees, sunny with some fat white clouds in the sky, days like these are a plenty and once upon a time I was missing out on them because of my weight.

Looking over the Connecticut river on a nice October day, this is at the trail head.

My bike with the kiddo's bike near the trail head, Wify walked with her and I caught up with them for the last 1/2 mile or so of slow riding.

This was after the ride overlooking the Connecticut river again.

Railroad tracks that go over the trail and the river, bike is in the lower right corner.

Taking a break under the tracks I was lucky enough to have a train pass over when I was there, you can see it on the right hand track.

I'm too sexy for my... for my... just a self shot with the Connecticut river in the background.

Cockpit shot coming down the trail.

Posing in front of the inner bank of the tow path.

This is whats behind the bike in the image before this one.

My favorite shot of the day, an old abandoned building at the end of the trail, tossed the bike up on a loading dock for a quick shot.

Me and my bicycle(s) get around these days, my range is expanding on every ride and I enjoy every second that I am pedaling, focusing on the cycling is my plan from here on out and I am hoping to do some winter riding this year. Back in June of 2009 I started down a road that has lead to me becoming one with my two wheels contraptions and I am so very happy that I made the decision to get back in the saddle again. Learning about bikes again has been fun, entertaining and has given me a new hobby, I have upgraded the K2 bike along the way and made it into a pretty fun and dependable bike to ride but I started feeling like my riding was outgrowing that bike so I started looking into a new dual wheeled transportation device and picked it up last week.

This weekend I had a chance to take my new ride out on its maiden voyage and an interesting ride it was! I joined the 29er crowd and bought a 2011 Gary Fisher collection Trek X-Caliber and my initial feeling on the bike is WOW! I have only ridden 22 miles on it so far, took a look at a new trail and ended up with some... how do I say? injuries? on that first ride but man I love the way this thing rides! I won't get into it too much, I shall leave that for another post but here is a sneak peek at the bike from Saturdays 22 mile ride and one of the um..... injuries.

Oh my! a broken toe!

A sneak peek at the 2011 Xcal just hanging out on the trail.

Making it a point to ride as much as possible is my goal right now, I feel as if biking is a huge part of my weight loss and better health goals so keeping it on the forefront of the fight is the plan. Keeping the cranks turning while keeping the fuel clean is going to be the way of the meatball, the results will be what they are and with some hard work, discipline and a steady intake of positive vibes I am hoping that we can dent the weight. Getting to below 300 pounds over this fall and winter would be a fantastic addition to my spring time riding season and with that a goal is set.

Trying to get more posts up is always on my mind so keep checking back, I AM still here and kicking, its that life is kicking too so sometimes its harder to sit down and write a post.

Until next we meet.... That's all I got

As Ever
Me

My old jeans fit again...

It's that time of year again, the leaves are starting to fall from their high perches littering themselves across our yards, the weather is cooling off so I dug out some of my jeans to put at the top of the heap. I figure since my weight has changed so much over the last year and a half from being as low as 305 pounds and as high as 381 pounds a few months ago, yeah I just said 381.... I have been at many different weights between those numbers and months so where am I with my jeans I thought? I tried on a pair of 42x32 jeans and sure enough what I suspected was true.... I can button them and zip em but they are a tad too snug.... fuck.... so out came the 44x32 and viola! like a glove... this IS NOT a good thing, it is what it is I suppose.

I have been in the past month or two been on and off with my being strict on the food front and exercise has been limited to short rides on my bike at night after dinner as well as a longer (20-25 mile) ride on Saturdays or Sundays, and that's just not cutting it. Getting into a groove and then having it grenade in my face rinse repeat seems to be how its going for me, yeah yeah I know toughen up fat boy! YOU make the decision on what to stuff into your pie hole, YOU make the decisions on whether you will do calisthenics throughout the day YOU are the reason that the weight is not coming off and staying off. Indeed I do know that, the Spock in me tells me everything that I need to know about losing weight, I have lost up to 229 pounds during this journey!... yeah lets call it a journey, doing it MY way, so I do know what it takes its the emotional part of it that's getting me and as a non Vulcan it seems that it matters.

If you have followed my blog you know that I am struggling right now with keeping my shit together, There are a lot of reasons for the lack of discipline and with that very statement I can say that a lack of discipline falls directly on the users shoulders, MY shoulders. My time is at a premium these days and dealing with some stuff that I won't mention in the blog on top of the lack of time has lead to long times between posts and general mayhem in my world of "get fit" but alas! I must try. Attempting to get some posts up in the flurry of insanity that is my life right now is on my short list because I feel that the blog does in fact keep me on track, it gives me something else to focus on so with that again I say..... gonna try and keep this train rollin'

That's it for this post, no bells, no whistles, just a guy that has seemingly lost his way a bit in a chaotic time in his life, it is hard to make me my number one priority when there are so many other things which demand the attention right now.

Making me number one has to happen though, now to figure out how to do that again...

My time your pain I reign on you...... My mind said to my body...

As Ever
Me

"I don't like to hear you so negative"

Nobody said that losing and keeping weight off would be easy and I think that I let the ease of the first year and a half go to my head because add some serious stress into my life and well I am up more than a couple pounds currently. Last night I was looking at some pictures and pissed myself off, there was a time in my life when I was happy with how I looked, how I felt and had an aura around me that said all of that with only a look, you knew I was where I wanted to be. When you weigh 534 pounds along with the way a person looks there is the way that they feel and that is more important in the grand scheme of things and recently some of the blah has peeked in through the crack in the door, the crack that I left there for it to peek into.

This was almost exactly a year ago on a mini vacation that me and Wify took and is in fact the picture that pissed me off, I am up in weight since this was taken and look at this almost like my benchmark picture because I know how I felt when it was taken..... alive.

Life has stress, this is as it is for every human being on the planet if I had to take a wild guess and how we handle that stress indeed dictates what we do in any given situation. The stress does not define any one of us, what it does is make defining one self that much more difficult by tossing into the mix feelings that don't allow us to focus on the task at hand exclusively. Most things can be over looked but some rule our thoughts until they do not, the loss of a loved one, problems with our children, and injuries are just some of them but each one alone would be enough to toss that proverbial monkey wrench into the works let alone if there are multiple stresses in ones life. Making excuses is easy, and anyone that has read any of this blog knows that I don't make excuses but I am realistic too and know that sometimes no matter how hard we push that the wall is sometimes impossible to break through, so we get stuck, sitting on the wrong side of a wall trying to figure out a way to get onto the other side.

After some time on our ass we stand up from the wrong side of the wall and notice the door, a single forceful kick later and we are through, its clear again how things have to be but in the near distance another wall is visible. Does that other wall also have a door? that cannot be seen from here but I suppose we should meander on over and take a look because if we stay here next to this wall for too long perhaps the door will slam shut again leaving us stranded on the wrong side for God only knows how long.

Last night after looking through some old photos I came to the conclusion that I had to get back into the grooe of doing me... Having a new baby in the house really does slam the brakes on when it comes to having time to get a good workout into my day but it should not have any sway on the fuel that I out into my body. I woke up this morning and started right into my "old routine" of weighing myself and making my breakfast with my salter scale, shot a random text to a friend about when her baby started crawling and that text turned into about 30 minutes of weight loss chitter chatter. This person has also lost a significant amount of weight, was in the same boat with having an infant in the house to take care of and I won't bore you with any more of that except that she said "for the first time in a LONG time I feel good about me" and that is exactly how I felt in the photo that I posted above...... what she said reinforced the way that I feel and helped me to see the door which is now kicked in.

Re-start? Do over? just a bump in a road longer than originally thought? call it what you will.....

Recommitting myself to myself is how I am going to see it...

As Ever
Me

Eating and Riding and and and...

A flawless weekend where my intake was concerned and got out for a 20 mile ride on Saturday, my weight is down a good amount and things are feeling "normal" again. My normal once upon a three years ago was completely different than what I consider my normal now so getting back to it is definitely a good thing! Almost as if a light switch was clicked into the up position I am back to weighing and measuring things that go into my body, I decided that I need to focus on what I need to do in order to get my health in line and the rest will hopefully follow suit.

Just Ed and his new Jamis Exile 1.

My riding has gotten easier the last few weeks as well, I ride the same 20 mile section of trail each week sometimes changing it up a bit but its mostly the same area. The last three weeks after our weekend ride I feel like I can do another 10 miles with ease.. ok maybe not with ease but I know that I could do it and its not been the case until about 3 rides ago. The way I see it is that if my weight keeps coming down back to where it was and beyond that the rides will just get easier and that is a good thing! Getting stronger while getting lighter is a formula for better rides so that's what I am going to do as last year I was riding easier than this year and I would like to get back to that level. I have mentioned that I have a riding buddy now and we snapped a couple few photos during one of our stops this Saturday but the images of me came out blurry, I suspect that sweaty Ed touched the lens of the camera so all ya get is the shot of him and his new Jamis this time around.

Aiming for 1700 calories per day is where I am at but on "bike ride" days I allow myself an extra 200 calories for the Zone bar that I eat at the half way point of my rides. I have been doing good with the intake with lots of fruits going in which is very easy this time of year as everything is in season! Yesterdays fruits included 2 plums, an apricot, a peach and a banana which were all very good and sweet, then trying to keep the carby stuff for the earlier part of the day is part of the plan as well so over all I am doing well on the intake.

Focusing on me again is trying, its hard to focus on something that does not take up most of your thinking time but I have to do it because like I said, without my health everything else will surely fall apart that much faster.

Until next time...

As Ever
Me

My wife asked me to start using protection...

So, the little animal... er baby has fallen blissfully to sleep and I had a moment so I thought it was a good time to pop a post up here, yes yes, I could be exercising instead and that I did! I did a push up routine along with some stretches and for now that's what its going to be. Life lately has not been peaches and cream but that doesn't mean that there aren't high points! and with that thought lets us focus on my bicycling for a moment.

A quick stop from last Sundays ride I took a shot of ye olde steed leaning on a rock with her new handlebars/grips installed.

Last year I was riding a just under 20 mile section of a local rail trail and not feeling it besides for the immediate hour after the ride and that stamina deteriorated over a long winter. I started riding again more regular like when the weather warmed up but couldn't really get back to that pre winter oooomph that I had, that is until the last two weeks in the saddle. The week before last we went out for our Sunday ride and by the end of the ride I felt like I could have kept going, it would appear that the stamina has returned? after one week? nope not gonna believe it. This past Sunday we left on the same ride, same bat time same bat channel and waddya know? same deal, felt awesome after the ride so if this weeks ride goes as well I am going to declare that I am back stamina wise on the bike.

In other news wify asked me to start wearing protection a while back...no no pervert get your mind out of the gutter she meant a helmet, and though I wasn't against the idea it just wasn't on the top of the list for me. I happened into a local Eastern mountain sports a couple weeks ago and meandered on over to the helmet section where I saw more than a couple brands and designs to consider so I popped a few onto my bald melon to see how fitment was. Now the fella that I ride with on the weekend has a Giro branded helmet, it seems nice and he said that it worked for what it was suppose to all while being fairly comfy so onto Giro brand brain buckets I went. Finding a Giro Xar on the shelf I placed it onto my cranium and it felt like I was wearing a ball cap, maybe even less bothersome than a ball cap but the price was $130 and I was meh on that. I tried on a couple few more but kept coming back to the Xar because if I am buying a helmet its gotta be comfy or I will just strap it to my back pack and not wear it, I left the store.

My new brain protection unit, I give to you the Giro Xar.

I was extremely surprised when my wife asked me to start using protection after so long as you can see in my expression.

Talking to wify about the choices that I found and the fact that this Xar for $130 was perfect but I did not want to spend that much on a helmet her response was "go back in and get it, I don't care what it costs if you'll wear it its worth it" I told her I wanted to research it first. I got home and couldn't find a bad review online so I started looking around online for a better price since I now knew what size fit and that it was in fact a comfortable fit, not one of the one size fits all helmets that never seem to feel right on my head. I pull up ebay and Viola! found one for almost $40 less than at EMS so using buy it now the helmet was here 2 days later, I haven't had a chance to ride with it yet but it is all adjusted and this weekend I shall give its first test ride.

I need to start gettin down like I know how to again, not because I want to and not because of anything other than I NEED to, I worked more than extremely hard to drop the weight that I have thus far and life is not what it was at 534 pounds. I have to try my best to stay in line and Yoda once said "Do or do not, there is no try", fortunately for me Yoda is just a puppet and I do not hold his words very close to my heart. Try is all anyone can do, we will all slip and fall from time to time and we are not a single one of us perfect and all as human as the next guy or gal, the way I see it is as long as we get back up and keep going we will not have failed.

stick that in your pipe and smoke it Yoda...

That's all I got for now, keep on keepin on and all that.

As Ever
Me

No bullshit, just a post.

How do you grab control when a complete shut down of the system is whats on the plate? This is the question that plagues me as I write this sentence. Once upon a time there was a fat guy that had no clue what he weighed, he was unsure about his future because of the 534 pounds that hung from his bones like an over stuffed scarecrow and fear motivated him to do something about it. Two hundred twenty nine pounds later he was a bad ass weight loss success story and was in mind and body a changed person, nothing could stop him as he pushed mountains aside to gain access to his goals and that fella was me.

I have been dealt some fucked up cards in the past half of a year and they are taking their toll on my health as far as weight loss and physical progression goes, the scale says so and my nonchalant attitude towards planning my intake for the days agrees. In addition to those cards there is a new and wonderful little girl in my life which is taking up much of my time as a stay at home dad. This makes working out as I should harder than it has been since starting down this road and I am finding it hard to work around that. I make no excuses for my lack of attention to my health plan that has worked for me up to this point but I can admit that I am having a hard time finding the strength to execute as the plan requires me to do in order for it to be a success.

I know what I need to do, in fact I have written it all down and have a recipe book to pull from ever meal that I need to create, cook and eat so that my body is fueled correctly. I know how to workout and in fact I crave it but with my current stress levels and lack of what I would call free time to get out there and bust ass, I am as I stated struggling to get back in the game as it were. Am I still riding my bike? Absofuckinloutly! that is something that I won't stop doing as its one of the things in life where I find pure joy but I am not in fact riding enough. I haven't ridden during the week in months, My only riding takes place on the weekend with a riding buddy and that's approximately 20 to 25 miles at a go which is as I said not enough.

My exercise will fall into place, I made sure of that by buying some lights for my bike which extends the times when I can ride but the exercise is not as important as one trying to lose weight might think. I believe that diet is the crucial part of weight loss/physical gain and I am not doing my part, I know this and yet grabbing it by its throat to throw it to the ground has eluded me in the past more than a few months. My weight is up, some might say significantly some might argue that its not all that significant, its more than just a couple pounds but I am still close to 200 pounds lost as I type this as a reference point and I am going to make this post the beginning of the end, the end of this not paying attention to my intake thing that's happening right now.

I posted last on June 23rd, the way that the rest of that day which will forever be significant to me...week... month has progressed is largely to blame for my HUGE lack of focus because at the time of that post I had been on track and was down about 30 pounds. The plan is to again try to post as often as possible on my blog, finding time to post will be a tad on the rough side but this blog is a huge part of why my weight loss to date has been successful, my tenacity and raw willpower plays a big part too but honestly I find that posting for anyone to see where I am at with my success/failures helps to keep me motivated.

Thanks for the email, facebook messages and comments, they help more than you know.

This post a tad random? perhaps.... but a post none the less and it begins again...

As Ever
Me

You fat fuck you...

So where were we? that's right I was a fat guy losing weight, a Dad taking care of the small herd of children that have amassed in my house and someone that was putting it all out there for the world to see in the name of accountability via this blog. I am not limited to any of those titles but as far as whats on the surface those are up there, I have over the last few years dropped more than 200 pounds and kept most of it off for the entire time BUT I am going to admit something that I was none too happy nor proud of. In April I began to notice that some of my clothes were snugging up...ok lets just call it what it was, shit stopped fitting and I hadn't been on the scale in quite some time so it was in fact the right time for a reality check. On April 28th I decided to see what I weighed, the dim blue light lit the dark kitchen as a zero flashed across the display signaling that she was indeed ready to ruin my evening. My feet made contact with the cool unforgiving black plastic that makes up the platform of my scale as the digital dots danced around in a circle where she would stop nobody knows and bamn! 370.4 flashed onto the display.... what the shit?!

I had not seen a number that high since October of 2008! which was 10 months into my weight loss, to say that I was and am disappointed in myself is an understatement, the word failure comes to mind. There is a lot that goes on in my life which does not make the blog, some of those things keep me from making me the most important thing in my life and it is what it is, with that said I do need to keep an eye on myself and my health. That night I got Pissed, upset, and as I mentioned disappointed with myself, so I decided that enough of the bullshit and doing what I need to do must be a big part of my life and must remain a big part and since that day I have been on point with my intake. In the beginning of April a 10 mile ride just about killed my legs and ass, I am happy to say that I am back up to 25 mile trail rides on my newly upgraded with a new and improved bottom bracket and crankset bicycle. My calories are as I said on point while getting in loads of veggies and whole foods, oh I have also dropped 31...yes Thirty one pounds in the last 56 days aka since that night when I stepped on the scale.

Learning to balance all that life has to throw at us with the hardest thing that I have had to face all at the same time is just a part of the game that needs to be dealt with, making an excuse is just that an excuse...to fail. Sure I have a shit ton of other fires burning that need attention but without handling the fire that is me the rest will burn out of control without me here planted with my feet on this planet. Finding time to do what I do is a priority, there will be times when it slips, there will be times when a workout is just not a possibility but if I let myself to slip back into the abyss that was my life at 534 pounds I will have let every single person in my life down including myself and that I will not allow.

Oh yeah...and those shirts that were snug? yep they fit again..

I am making every effort to get posting more regular like but time is at a premium these days, so don't be shy, drop a comment I am not so proud to not admit they help...

As Ever
Me

Grenading a Bottom bracket and some work on an old friend.

A little more than a year ago I picked up a little project that I have been playing around with when I have time in the way of a 1988 Specialized Rockhopper Comp. It is kind of the bike that started me in on my "Buy fix sell at a profit" thing that I do from time to time with bicycles but there is something about this one that I liked so I could never bring myself to sell it. The frame is an 18 inch and I can ride comfortably on a 19 to 21 inch frame depending on the bike so it is a tad small but with the stem up as high as it can go and the seat is up almost as high as it can go I can ride the bike comfortably. Whats your point Mister Meatball? I'm gettin' there, I'm gettin' there, Last weekend I grenaded the bottom bracket on my K2 AKA my main bike and I ordered a new BB/Crankset but the catch is that it will not be here until Monday the 13th and there ain't no way I'm going to not ride until I get the BB and get it installed. I suppose a 300 plus pound fellow Hammerin' on a bike for the past two years warrants the equipment failure, especially as it appears that the BB that was on the bike when I bought it was not of the highest quality so onto an upgrade it is.

Here is the Rockhopper the day I brought it home mangled and forgotten.... until that day.

So I looked to the Rockhopper with soulful eyes and requested its help, it looked at me as if to say that there were some conditions to this arrangement and I listened. I did an initial clean up and rust scrubbing a while back and got the bike looking decent but never finished the job to a point where I would call the bike perfectly ride-able. This time around she ended up with a new pair of shoes even if they are only 26 x 1.95 instead of the 26 x 2.2 that I normally like, some Brandy spankin' new grips and I cannibalized a seat and post from an old Trek that I have just sitting there doing nothing in particular. I figured that since She was getting a make over and going into temporary service I may as well pull out some touch up paint and hit the spots that were chipped up. Since the bike was going to be in service for a bit I may as well give it a proper tune up while I was at it right? so that I did, out came the tri flow and the tool bag and 15 minutes later she was right as rain.

This is what it looked like after my first go at it to get the heavy rust and grime off.

New grips, new/old tires, cannibalized seat and post, changed out the bottle cage, touch up paint and a tune up this is as she sits right now, sorry for the cell pic.

New/old seat, its pretty comfy I do have to admit

New grips, no more styrofoam these are knock off Oury grips I think, Origin 8 is the brand, knock off or not they are comfortable and very grippy.

After the tune up I took the bike for a quick ride around the lake and I have to admit it rides really nice for a 23 year old bike that a novice like myself had a whack at fixing up, I like it. It is a tad too small like I mentioned but it is honestly comfortable enough that I believe I can make a 20 mile ride without issue on my body and plan on testing that theory out on the weekend! I have exactly $22 into this bike and some of my time and am very pleased with how it has come out so far, I may just keep going with it and make it "nice" I think right now as it sits it looks pretty cool and is a good solid road ready Vintage mountain bike, not bad for $22!

The K2 will be fixed sometime next week after I take possession of the new crankset and the repair is not exactly a surprise. I knew the BB was going because of a noise it has been making and I am looking at it as a chance to upgrade something rather than "damn I have to fix my bike", gotta look on the bright side sometimes. If the Specialized ends up being a good rider on longer rides for me I will very likely upgrade the pedals to a set of Odyssey Trail Mix pedals like I have on the K2 but otherwise I like the fact that this old bike is what it is, an old, well used vintage mountain bike that is still bringing enjoyment to someone riding down a trail on it and won't change too much more.

I have been more than busy with the new addition to the Fam and trying to stay on my bike as much as possible (I almost have my 2010 legs back) but am trying to get back to daily blogs again, I promise! Putting my time where it is needed most is what I am doing and I love writing this blog but it is just not possible for me to find enough time in every day to get here and post up my thoughts. I am on track with my calories, I am riding my bike LOTS! and I am in fact down 26 pounds from where I was just a tad over a month ago so trust that I am doin' what I do where my health is concerned.

Until next time..

That's all I got for tonight...

As Ever
Me