It's that time of year again, the leaves are starting to fall from their high perches littering themselves across our yards, the weather is cooling off so I dug out some of my jeans to put at the top of the heap. I figure since my weight has changed so much over the last year and a half from being as low as 305 pounds and as high as 381 pounds a few months ago, yeah I just said 381.... I have been at many different weights between those numbers and months so where am I with my jeans I thought? I tried on a pair of 42x32 jeans and sure enough what I suspected was true.... I can button them and zip em but they are a tad too snug.... fuck.... so out came the 44x32 and viola! like a glove... this IS NOT a good thing, it is what it is I suppose.
I have been in the past month or two been on and off with my being strict on the food front and exercise has been limited to short rides on my bike at night after dinner as well as a longer (20-25 mile) ride on Saturdays or Sundays, and that's just not cutting it. Getting into a groove and then having it grenade in my face rinse repeat seems to be how its going for me, yeah yeah I know toughen up fat boy! YOU make the decision on what to stuff into your pie hole, YOU make the decisions on whether you will do calisthenics throughout the day YOU are the reason that the weight is not coming off and staying off. Indeed I do know that, the Spock in me tells me everything that I need to know about losing weight, I have lost up to 229 pounds during this journey!... yeah lets call it a journey, doing it MY way, so I do know what it takes its the emotional part of it that's getting me and as a non Vulcan it seems that it matters.
If you have followed my blog you know that I am struggling right now with keeping my shit together, There are a lot of reasons for the lack of discipline and with that very statement I can say that a lack of discipline falls directly on the users shoulders, MY shoulders. My time is at a premium these days and dealing with some stuff that I won't mention in the blog on top of the lack of time has lead to long times between posts and general mayhem in my world of "get fit" but alas! I must try. Attempting to get some posts up in the flurry of insanity that is my life right now is on my short list because I feel that the blog does in fact keep me on track, it gives me something else to focus on so with that again I say..... gonna try and keep this train rollin'
That's it for this post, no bells, no whistles, just a guy that has seemingly lost his way a bit in a chaotic time in his life, it is hard to make me my number one priority when there are so many other things which demand the attention right now.
Making me number one has to happen though, now to figure out how to do that again...
My time your pain I reign on you...... My mind said to my body...
As Ever
Me
You can do it! You have all the tools already. Keep on keepin' on!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, dear Zeus, with this journey, its one giant step forward and a whole bunch of little steps back. I am a fan of the "one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time". When I break it down like that, it becomes do~able....
ReplyDeleteComing out of lurking mode to cheer you on.... :)
I am not sure if I should commend you for keeping the old jeans or not. I didn't keep mine, so I'm buying bigger sizes. Again. I hear you, that's for sure. I am 45 pounds up from my loss of 100 and you are right, it sits on my shoulders. Every time I step on the scale I can hear you saying "whatever is there I earned", and lately I have not been happy with what I'm earning. Time for re-prioritizing is right on!
ReplyDeleteI've realized I need my blog and the people out there reading it. I think posting more will help. I use to look forward to your Friday weigh-ins :) Maybe it's time to bring them back :) Good to see ya as always!
ReplyDeleteNo great wisdom to share. Life throws me curves balls and I swing and miss at least as often as I get a hit. But I thought I'd let you know that I follow your blog because you inspire me. I'm reasonably fit but I see lots of carry-overs to other struggles in life. So hang in there pal. You're tough. You've proven that. You'll claw your way back.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! You already ARE! :D
ReplyDelete