This weekend flew by! I went over calories every day this weekend including Friday, We went to see Iron man 2 Friday night and it was at the drive in so we brought our own snacks which helped keep the calories under control but I did go over budget by one pear so not so bad when I say that I went over but over is over. Saturday night wify ran out for a sundae and I stayed home but the more that I thought about it the more I wanted one! a quick call on the cell later I was in for a small cup of mocha ice cream, at least I opted for the cup in place of a cone right? Then Sunday lets just say that I was over by about 250 calories and that's all I got to say about Sunday.
Getting to the gym Friday went as scheduled and as I mentioned I picked my daughter up from school on my bike with the new trailer that I picked up so the weekend was off to a good start. Saturday I didn't really do anything that I would call exercise besides making a garden bed in my yard and framing it out with stones and a land scape tie and planting some veggies which as it turns out may end up being bad timing. I planted 3 types of tomatoes, some green bell peppers and some zucchini but the next day we had high winds and the temp dropped into the 30's over night, luckily I did think to cover the newly planted veggies with some buckets so hopefully there are no issues. I was going to plant some watermelons at my daughters request but am going to hold off until next week for that with the week that we have lined up weather wise as its suppose to be below 32 degrees over night for a couple nights and this way I have a bed to make next weekend so more movement. Sunday we pretty much lounged around all day and I did absolutely nothing that I would call exercise but I am ok with that as it was after all Mommy's day.
This morning I weighed in at 311.4 lbs which is .2 higher than Friday but Saturday I was down to 309.6 lbs and that shall be chalked up to fluctuation. I am planning to hit the gym kind of hard this week and see where I get by Friday with the new calorie range and a good solid week of gym workouts and if the weather cooperates I will add some bike rides in by picking my daughter up from school as we both enjoyed that.
Something did happen this weekend that was unexpected as well as a great non scale victory for me in a department store. Sunday we ran out for no real reason and ended up in a JcPenny just wandering around and wify saw a display of Adidas tee shirts and started flipping through them and said "Here are some 2XL shirts honey you should try one on" blah I thought, these will never fit me. My blah thought was because I have 3 of these exact same shirts but in 3XL and though they are starting to get big on me still fit and look acceptable, sort of but I did agree to try them on and I am glad that I did. These shirts were not in the big guy section, they were just on a rack in the mens athletic section and the regular old run of the mill 2XL fit me just fine and then I noticed the price, $14.99 per shirt, what is this madness? how can a shirt that fits me cost less than $25.00?? I ended up getting two shirts. I did notice that I could have gotten a 3XL version of this shirt in the big guys section for $19.99 and with that I seem to have slid a little closer to being normal sized.
With that normal sized thing coming up I think that I need to figure out a way to see myself for the size that I am now and not how I use to look but am having a hard time with that. Friday night while we were at the drive in there was a fella standing outside his car and as I always do I size him up and think "He is about my size" so I say to Wify "Honey, look at that guy there in the gray sweatshirt, is that about how I look?" you know, just for a second opinion. With a roll of her eyes in the way that only a loving wife can do she says "Ok, you are not allowed to do that any more alright?" do what??? I ask "ask me if you are as big as this guy or that guy, especially when you pick guys that are much bigger than you, You know that you are smaller now so just stop it" and I honestly don't see myself as small as Wify does apparently.
Why is it so difficult to get past weight? why is it that though I can obviously see a difference in how I look that I still see myself much bigger in minds eye? I am 225 pounds less in physical size than I was 2 years ago and yet I still see myself as a big ol round fella most times and I am unsure how to get past that feeling. I see people like Sean or the other Tony and they look amazing! I have been reading these guys blogs for a good while now and they also have lost more than 200 pounds each but unlike me I can see them and not think they look big at all. Its true that they are both at or extremely close to their goal weight but I am only about 50 pounds more than Sean yet going off of his photos I look much bigger. Perhaps its something that I just need to get use to, you know being smaller and accept that I possibly look smaller than my minds eye tells me because I honestly thought that the fella at the drive in and me were pretty close in size but going off of the look on Wifys face and her reaction my vision could be off.
Long winded and random for the Monday morning post but like every day I have no clue what I am going to write until I start typing and sometimes it goes long so there you have it. This week should be a decent one barring anything outside of my control and I am still focused so with a tad bit of luck and a whole load of hard work we will see where I end up come Friday for a weight.
Thats all I got for today.