Monday, April 13, 2009

The worse day since starting this weight loss thang...

It is time to refocus, because I have to.

This weekend was worse case scenario for me where eating goes, Saturday for whatever reason I was very easy on myself where grabbing the random candy went but for the most part stayed within my calorie range if not over by 100-200 but I did not drink enough and I was up late Friday and Saturday night, when I say late I mean 2:00am-ish.

Easter Sunday was a disaster and I had the willpower of a 10 year old at a candy buffet, The day started off well enough with wify making omelets for breakfast but I did grab a piece of french toast after I ate the omelet, not so bad as it was early. The kids were rummaging through their Easter baskets and I had bought myself a box of 4 cadbury eggs a few nights ago with the intention of eating one per day on top of my calories for Easter weekend as a treat, so out came the box and before we left for Easter dinner at wifys family's place I had eaten 2 of the eggs among other random morsels of goodness, this was all before 1:00PM.

Upon arriving at Wifys aunts house I was promptly handed a Sam Adams white ale and as it was a holiday I don't count calories on holidays I accepted. Before too long I had consumed 2 Sam Adams and a Spaten and meandered into the back yard where the "man folk" were boiling clams and grilling hot dogs, I was handed another Spaten and a couple clams, again I obliged. Dinner was being served at this time and it was buffet style everyone brought something but wify asked if I wanted to wait until everyone was done so that we could take our time after the dinner bell madness died down and that's what we did, I stayed outside watching the kids look for eggs and chatting with the fellas around the grill.

The madness died down and wify asked if I was hungry and that I was! I am 4 beers and a nipper of brandy into my day here and my judgment was not the best at that point judging by the decisions that were made. Scalloped potatoes with bacon, curry rice and veggies, ham, grilled hot dogs, tortellini, eggplant parm and cheese cake cupcakes were among the bounty and surely some of that has attached itself to my ass by this morning. I ate like I use to eat back about 2 years ago, After dinner a red stripe and another nipper of brandy went down and it was time to decorate cupcakes with the kids and it is now roughly 3:30pm.

There was literally no holding back and its time to take my lumps like a big boy (again literally on the big boy part) I drank less than 1/2 gallon of water and zero tea during Saturday and Sunday as a whole. I was up until 2:00 am Friday and Saturday nights and last night was 1:30 am, This IS NOT good for my weight loss regimen! today I cannot stay out of the bathroom and I feel like shit, I am disappointed in myself for having ANOTHER bad weekend and I am sore and tired today. Flashback to 2 years ago and I was not able to walk around the block, I was eating like I ate on Easter EVERY day, I was "feeling like shit" all of the time and here I am by my own hand having a day like that? I will say it here and I have already told my wife, NO MORE of that kind of day. This does not mean that I am dropping my "no counting on holidaze" rule, it just means that even though I am not counting that I need to stay reasonable with the intake on these occasions.

Bottom line, I deserve to feel like crap today mentally and physically and I accept my lumps. A lot of the time I get comments and emails saying that I inspire someone or am doing a helluva job on the weight loss front but this time it is I that dropped that ball that you see rolling into the street but this post is me refusing to chase it into the path of the truck that I see coming up the road. I figure if I can write a blog about how wonderful and great I am doing in this weight loss game that I can pop a not so good look at a day in the life of as well, so there it is.

This morning I weighed in at 355 pounds, I KNOW that there is water retention and bloating within that number but it is what it is and seeing a number above 350 on that scale again when I am so close to losing 200 total pounds sucked and I cannot say it any more simply than that. Today marks the beginning of the new beginning as I have had a not so good couple of weeks now and I HAVE to get it rolling in the right direction again, so its on...

As Ever


  1. All this sort of stuff is part of life, real life. You know, every single year on Easter you're going to have to deal with this -- even after you've reached goal. Sounds like you've had a bit of a rude awakening; maybe one you needed.

    I have a bit of a cake hangover today after breaking my Lenten fast. Only good thing about it is that I truly do not want sweets today.

    Live and learn, huh?

  2. Back on track, that's where you're at so no worries now. I think we all have these type days occasionally. You'll be back below 350 before you know it. Drink that water and tea!!!

  3. You have my sympathy - since you are doing such a fine job of kicking your own ass, you don't need a boot in the butt from me! I am doing my own penance - in response to my own binge-ing this weekend, I am in the process of scrubbing walls, moving furniture and burning all those extra "goodie-calories" that wanna strap onto my thighs! I'll be hurting tomorrow, but it'll be a good hurt. Get a couple gallons of tea "cooking" and be ready for the week! Drink up my friend - you're back on track!

  4. Hey dude I'm going to try to get back on the blogging wagon so let's chat soon! Looking good ;)

  5. I don't know what to say here except that I have no doubt you'll come out of this slump, and a whole hell of a lot faster than I came out of mine. Trust me...I know how you feel. The pure disappointment....seeing that scale up sucks. Just don't forget that you know exactly how to make it go back down, and all you have to do is refocus. I'm proud of you for this post - - I am the poster child for doing crappy and NOT posting about it - - so you are one step ahead of me (okay, maybe 100 steps ahead of me). You've got to tell your friends/family that you appreciate them offering you "extras" and all, but that you don't enjoy the extra guilt you feel afterwards, so stop it! I had to tell everyone I know to quit insisting that "one piece won't hurt" because it obviously DOES! Hhaha! Wify will help you refocus! You can do it, and I know you will. :)

  6. I've been trying to get out of my slump for the last 6 weeks! I'm sure you'll be fine though.

    Good luck!

  7. I have been following your blog for some time and YES you do inspire me but today I read and ask why are you being so hard on yourself? So you ate some comfort food as I call it and had a good time with family and now the holiday is over and it is back to paying attention to what you eat it is not the end of the world nor the end of your weight loss and beating yourself up is not good you know what you need to do to get back on track and you will...I too had a bad 3 days I wasn't hungry friday and saturday until dinner time I skipped meals and then decided I would eat what the family was eating because I was busy and it was there ( I have just switched over to the south beach diet) calorie counting wasnt happening for me 4 years ago I did the SBD and lost 43 pounds and had excellent blood work returns
    My hub does not eat anything I eat so I have to make 2 meals every night..which sucks
    Easter I made Raviolis , Ham and this Italian meat I do not know how to spell I sat at the table intending to have reasonable portions but did I ? nope. Then came in from work last night and there were still leftovers and I was tired and thought well let me eat them and make them disappear and then at 2am I woke up and ate a cupcake in my sleep I was craving chocolate.. I walk 3 miles every day but have not since last thursday do I feel like crap?
    yes I do. But today is a new day
    and I may have gained a pound or 2
    but know I need to take the time today and plan my meals and get them ready for the week sooo the scale may be showing you some weight gain but it is just a few pounds is not 20 lbs and you will get back on track so stop beating yourself up and smile and do what it takes to get back on track today
    for me hopefully the rain stops as I need to walk my 3 miles today and walking in the cold rain SUCKS
    I did dig my rain gear out this morning cuz last week I came back soaked to the bone it was windy and my umbrella broke my neighbors I am sure think I am a whacko