Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Get the fuck out of my way..a letter to the fatter me.

Today is the day, its the day that I change my life, today is the day that all of the madness stops and the living begins, get in my way and you will end up on your back, try and stop me and you will not succeed because failure is not an option for me. I am an unstoppable force in your world of excuses and an easier time will be had trying to move a mountain than to steer me off course because by the throat I take this challenge and straight through it I go with reckless abandon, I will see it through to the end. Break me or I break you one of the two will happen this time around, I have been broken so many times before and its my turn to show you how it feels because I can't do this any more, I won't do this any more and you have no choice but to submit to my will. Try and resist and You will fail, try to slow me down and you will fail, into a corner I am backed and there is only one direction that I can move so I suggest that you step aside before somebody gets hurt.

Deciding to live or deciding to see how big the balloon can be blown up before it bursts are a couple of the choices, if it were an actual balloon perhaps it would have been a fun game but when its a body, a heart that can blow up at any time it becomes less of a game. At 534 pounds a ticking time bomb in a padded chest waiting to go off at any minute leaving a giant laying on the ground with no choices is not how its going to go down. Do you remember? breathless at the top of the stairs taking a moment to catch that breath so that she wouldn't know just how bad it was as if that was fooling anyone, do you? Do you remember not being able to walk more than 5 minutes because of the pain in your back? remember how that felt? Now remember when I said that you have no choice? remember when I told you that you would fail? well you are failing, you are submitting because I will not, I am not going out like that and have come too far for anything to get in my way now.

There will be days that you win, there will be days that the daily stresses force me to make choices that will set me back but in the end you lose. I made the decision that I am going to do whatever it takes to get to the end of that road and though I am at a point where my back is not to the corner any more, I do remember the direction of the exit and that is where I am headed. Now if you would please get the fuck out of my way I promise it will be over quickly and you won't feel a thing....choose not to move and onto your back you go...

Capiche?

As Ever
Me

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