Well look who just walked through the door..

Life slapped me in the ass and called me Susan and I just haven't had the time nor the will to write a post lately, we're going through some stress right now and basically the whole weight loss thang has taken a back seat for the week and a half or so. When one thing hits hard most times working through it is not an issue, then there are times when it doubles up and still making progress though slower it still happens, then there are other times when it seems that shit just goes all wonky and fuck you you fuckin' fuck is my response and I just stop caring so much about weighing and measuring out an ounce of strawberries so that my excel sheet reads correct. I figured it was time to pop in and post up because this blog is about accountability with my weight loss and honestly the past few months I haven't used it to my advantage like in the beginning but I have gotten a lot of email in the past week asking "Why no posts Zeus?" and since I do need to get my ass back on the high ground Here is an update.

Lets just say that the source of stress isn't anything that will ever be written on my blog and leave it at that and I hope that is good enough for anyone wondering because its as much as I will write about it. Now to the complete and utter failure of a week that I have had where better health and weight loss goes, I have not been to the gym in about a week and a half and literally have not had a lick of cardio in that time besides a couple rides to school on my bike trailering the little one. The eating hasn't been good either as I haven't counted a single calorie in that same time period, let me correct myself I haven't stayed under my calorie limit in that time not even for a single day and some days were down right out of the golden days of my fatter past and resembled the more rotund me menu. Drinking enough fluids? whats that? there were days in there where I hadn't had a sip of green tea and less than a half gallon of H2O all day and though I never stepped over to the dark side with the drinking as far as say having soda or anything like that I did indulge in more than a couple coffee coolatas which I did opt for the skim milk version but none the less not a good choice on any level.

Monday was a good day and I was at 1950 calories and did drink more than 2 gallons of fluid and yesterday was off to a good start but somewhere mid day I was slammed in the face with a completely non weight loss related issue and bamn! straight out the fucking window went anything strict and I was over my calories in an instant. I was also planning on hitting the gym but my daughter was home sick from school yesterday so it just didn't happen but today is a different story and barring something disastrous happening which wouldn't be totally out of the question considering how things have been going I will be at the gym today.

My weight, lets just say that I am up and leave it at that for now because I am aggravated that I slipped for an entire week and let myself go up when I was so close to being under that 300 pound mark. I am still not far off but the back sliding isn't helping anything and its time to "re-lose" the pounds that found their way back home and onto my ass again, I have a strong feeling that a few days of drinking right and counting the calories while hitting the gym will drop a lot of this extra weight because I am sure I am not properly hydrated and that always pops me right up in weight but I am also sure that there are some real pounds in there too. This is really the first time since starting this whole weight loss gig where I said "No mas!" and threw in the towel and did not dedicate a single cell in my body to my health, I honestly did not give a shit about counting or weighing anything because of the other garbage going on. Now before anyone climbs up on a soap box and starts chanting in my direction about how this is a lifestyle change blah blah stress happens and you have to blah blah this and that, don't.

Imagine attempting to put back together a precision watch while balancing on a fence post with one foot in a storm as children throw rocks at you, at some point setting that watch down long enough to stop the kids and get some shelter is the better idea than trying to complete that task in those conditions. I've just collected all of the gears, springs and tiny little screws and am back up on the post, the clouds are clearing and those kids are tied to the fence 30 feet away, My life has completely changed because of the weight loss so far and there is no going back to being hundreds of pounds heavier than I should be. This IS a lifestyle change and I have lost more than 200 pounds and have kept it off for more than 2 years now, do I still take comfort in food now and again? you bet your ass I do, is that optimal? not at all BUT you will never hear me say that someone losing weight shouldn't have a treat, a meal, a day or in my case even a whole week of not giving a shit because I am not a robot and far from perfect stress is stress and shit happens. Obviously there are still issues with finding comfort in food that need to be worked out but I am so far along in this that I would be plain old stupid to slip back and honestly its not in me to let myself do that so here we go, lets get this thing rolling in the right direction again so that I get under 300 pounds sooner than later.

That's all I got and tomorrow shall be another post.

As Ever
Me