Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Well look who just walked through the door..

Life slapped me in the ass and called me Susan and I just haven't had the time nor the will to write a post lately, we're going through some stress right now and basically the whole weight loss thang has taken a back seat for the week and a half or so. When one thing hits hard most times working through it is not an issue, then there are times when it doubles up and still making progress though slower it still happens, then there are other times when it seems that shit just goes all wonky and fuck you you fuckin' fuck is my response and I just stop caring so much about weighing and measuring out an ounce of strawberries so that my excel sheet reads correct. I figured it was time to pop in and post up because this blog is about accountability with my weight loss and honestly the past few months I haven't used it to my advantage like in the beginning but I have gotten a lot of email in the past week asking "Why no posts Zeus?" and since I do need to get my ass back on the high ground Here is an update.

Lets just say that the source of stress isn't anything that will ever be written on my blog and leave it at that and I hope that is good enough for anyone wondering because its as much as I will write about it. Now to the complete and utter failure of a week that I have had where better health and weight loss goes, I have not been to the gym in about a week and a half and literally have not had a lick of cardio in that time besides a couple rides to school on my bike trailering the little one. The eating hasn't been good either as I haven't counted a single calorie in that same time period, let me correct myself I haven't stayed under my calorie limit in that time not even for a single day and some days were down right out of the golden days of my fatter past and resembled the more rotund me menu. Drinking enough fluids? whats that? there were days in there where I hadn't had a sip of green tea and less than a half gallon of H2O all day and though I never stepped over to the dark side with the drinking as far as say having soda or anything like that I did indulge in more than a couple coffee coolatas which I did opt for the skim milk version but none the less not a good choice on any level.

Monday was a good day and I was at 1950 calories and did drink more than 2 gallons of fluid and yesterday was off to a good start but somewhere mid day I was slammed in the face with a completely non weight loss related issue and bamn! straight out the fucking window went anything strict and I was over my calories in an instant. I was also planning on hitting the gym but my daughter was home sick from school yesterday so it just didn't happen but today is a different story and barring something disastrous happening which wouldn't be totally out of the question considering how things have been going I will be at the gym today.

My weight, lets just say that I am up and leave it at that for now because I am aggravated that I slipped for an entire week and let myself go up when I was so close to being under that 300 pound mark. I am still not far off but the back sliding isn't helping anything and its time to "re-lose" the pounds that found their way back home and onto my ass again, I have a strong feeling that a few days of drinking right and counting the calories while hitting the gym will drop a lot of this extra weight because I am sure I am not properly hydrated and that always pops me right up in weight but I am also sure that there are some real pounds in there too. This is really the first time since starting this whole weight loss gig where I said "No mas!" and threw in the towel and did not dedicate a single cell in my body to my health, I honestly did not give a shit about counting or weighing anything because of the other garbage going on. Now before anyone climbs up on a soap box and starts chanting in my direction about how this is a lifestyle change blah blah stress happens and you have to blah blah this and that, don't.

Imagine attempting to put back together a precision watch while balancing on a fence post with one foot in a storm as children throw rocks at you, at some point setting that watch down long enough to stop the kids and get some shelter is the better idea than trying to complete that task in those conditions. I've just collected all of the gears, springs and tiny little screws and am back up on the post, the clouds are clearing and those kids are tied to the fence 30 feet away, My life has completely changed because of the weight loss so far and there is no going back to being hundreds of pounds heavier than I should be. This IS a lifestyle change and I have lost more than 200 pounds and have kept it off for more than 2 years now, do I still take comfort in food now and again? you bet your ass I do, is that optimal? not at all BUT you will never hear me say that someone losing weight shouldn't have a treat, a meal, a day or in my case even a whole week of not giving a shit because I am not a robot and far from perfect stress is stress and shit happens. Obviously there are still issues with finding comfort in food that need to be worked out but I am so far along in this that I would be plain old stupid to slip back and honestly its not in me to let myself do that so here we go, lets get this thing rolling in the right direction again so that I get under 300 pounds sooner than later.

That's all I got and tomorrow shall be another post.

As Ever


  1. Good analogy with the watch. Hang in there, Zeus.

  2. Hang in there my friend. Things will improve, you have to believe, whatever the situation. You're not the same Zeus you were at your're far from that. Sometimes good choices simply means surviving.
    You're a suvivor my friend.

    My best always,

  3. It's okay- we all have stress in our lives- I'm sure you will be fine!

    Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans... As long as you didn't go buck wild chugging sodas and chili dogs then IMO you did fine :)

    I hope things pick up for you :)

  4. I just love your blog. I've been wondering where you were, and if everything was okay - thanks for posting so now I know you're still there! Reading how frustrating life is for others is part of what makes my life more bearable, if that makes any sense - at least I know I'm not the only one that would prefer to just throttle life once in a while! Or, as my hubby would say, collar life and shake the shit out of it and shout "What gives anyway?!?!?" I'd prefer a stress-free life but then again, who wouldn't, and what kind of challenges would I really be able to face if life were stress free? Anyway thanks for posting, very refreshing to get your point of view! Looking forward to tomorrow's post and to see how the day went for you... CHIN UP!

  5. Oh how I wish this self-care and weight loss/maintenance came easy for me, and for you. It does not. At least not all the time. Some weeks it is a HUGE drag, and some weeks it is just not possible to put the weight loss agenda in the forefront.

    Your description of the storm, and the children, and the parts of the watch is brilliant. A perfect analogy. (Love the kiddies tied to the post temporarily. LOL.)

    Your warmth and humor and generosity of spirit shine through your posts no matter what fucking garbage you are struggling with. You are a beautiful man. You are not alone in your struggle.

    Thank you for sharing your struggles and your victories. Both make you the man you are.

  6. Been there, my friend. Shit happens. Fact is sometimes there are things soooooo much bigger to deal with than counting another effing calorie. Even though it might sound ironic, really, it's self preservation. Your mind & body adjusted how it needed to at the moment, while you could work things out, and now that you're making progress on THAT, you can spare some focus on your health again. No biggie.

    Hope things start looking up (er, or I guess, down) for you!

  7. Sending good thoughts your way.

  8. Glad to see you posting again. Sorry to hear that you are struggling through a rough patch.

    Everyone gets slapped upside the head by life in one way or another sooner or later. I am confident that you will steady the ship in these rough waters.

    Strength and Honor


  9. Hi BOTZZ - I was so elated to see that there was a new blog post. I felt every word you said, cause we've all been there done that. Those who say they haven't, BS I say. I hate that stress drives me to food;guess it could be worse; be drink! lol Glad to know that you knew that you could blog about it and your friends would say Amen to that! Thanks.

  10. so good to hear from you again!! understand completely about the stress & hope that it gets better for you soon!! you'll be up and at it again in no time, we'll be patient til you're ready!!

  11. Oh, Tony, I know how it goes. Sometimes it all just sucks.

  12. Tony, know that you and yours are in our thoughts and prayers during this tumultuous time.

    "Serenity isn't freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm"

    I bid you serenity and peace...

  13. Hey Tony...I hope whatever the situation was or is that everybody is OK, healthy and happy. Life can be one giant suck fest every once in awhile...but I've been learning by going through everything I'm going through that things get better in the end and if they aren't better then it's not the end yet :) I truly hope you guys are all OK and I hope this doesn't drag you down. You are an inspiration :)

  14. I am sorry for the obvious stress in your life. I too am very close to being under the 300 lb mark. 2 weeks ago I was at 301.6 and I was determined that I was going to lose at least 1.7 to get under... I gained 2. This past week I lost 1.4 of the 2 I had gained and I am now at 302.2. I keep playing around with this same 5 lbs and I want so badly to be under... and then I sabotage myself. So, here I go. I am again determined that I am going to get under this mark and then keep on going. I know you will too! Chin up, cheerio, and all that jazz. You will get there day by day. Blessings! Jen

  15. Hey dude. Don't worry about entertaining us. Just reach out if you need some extra support.

    We're rooting for you!

    Signed...the nursing students on the fourth floor.

  16. you have reduced your enough weight. Make blog after long time.