Monday, June 7, 2010

The terrible blogger, the amazing Dad.

Pulling it all together this week I am getting back to business and the weight is coming off once again, Ten days ago I weighed 17 pounds more than I do right now as I type and I am getting close to that low weight again. I will weigh in this Friday "for the record book" and I am hoping that I can get back to that lowest weight of 305 by then though I think its going to be hard and that my friends sucks. I don't make any excuses mostly because I don't have to but more so because it is what it is and excuses is partially what got me to 500 plus pounds in the first place. Lately I have been thinking about mental barriers and the whole struggle with losing weight and why those things are there and get in the way so easily. Cover your eyes and stop reading right now if you are over weight and don't want the truth about why we eat too much, its an addiction and we fall back on it as soon as the shit hits the fan in life or in many cases as soon as we can blame something on why we're doing it.

I hate that food has such a hold on me but it does there is no two ways about it, I am indeed ultimately stronger than the food because I am not going to stop until I reach my health goals but that's not to say that I won't slip now and again. I could say that its there to comfort this that and the other but the fact is that I just like the way it tastes plain and simply. I have never done drugs in my entire life and I mean nothing, nada, not a single thing and I don't have the desire to start any time soon, I grew up in a shitty city in a not so good area and have seen it all and when I say that I have seen it all I mean it. From anonymous zombies strung out on the side of the road sitting on busted milk crates with fragile bodies cooking death in a bottle cap or aluminum can to idiot friends doing everything from weed to pills to coke to to to....and I have never EVER tried or wanted to try any of that trash yet drop a triple bacon bacon cheeseburger with fried onions and a side of fries in front of me and bamn! I'm in for two.

In the last two plus years I have completely changed the way that I see and treat food, I have lost more than what most people would call a significant amount of weight and have kept it off in that same time which has given me a new outlook on how things should be. Its funny because I wasn't always what I would call huge, yes I was the "fat kid" which was more like the chubby kid looking back at some old photos but once you get that label attached it sticks and at some point we embrace it then before you know it you are starting a blog because you weigh more than 500 pounds and have no idea what else to do. My weight gain was a compound issue because of a back injury that I got in about 2000, when you love Bacon pizza the way that I do and then you add a back injury that's as depressing as it is painful you get a recipe for a fat guy. Imagine not being able to walk without pain and on some days stand without pain and then add in some normal life stresses along with over eating and some video games and viola! before you even realize that it happened Houston, we have a problem here.

I am the same person that I was then, I am the same guy that loves the tiny little greasy Greek style pizza from the best little pizza house in the state and I am the same fella that blew his back out 10 years ago. My drive is different, my focus is different, my back does not smart as much as it use to though I still have pain now and again my relationship with food has completely changed and I actually crave exercise instead of that big D chili cheese burger (points for anyone whose had one or knows what it is without google). I am just a guy getting healthy and experiencing all of the bumps in the road that come with that and with all of my success thus far I still struggle at times because no matter how much I success I have had I am not perfect and am only human, at least to most people.

My daughter was talking to Wify last night and she was singing Owl Johnson "I love to singa" which is something that I randomly blurt out now and again while dancing across the floor and wify said "You're just like your dad" and the reply from my daughter was "Dats because I wanna be just like my Daddy" and I don't think I needed to hear anything else to realize that I am not doing this just for me.

Onward and upward we go...

As Ever


  1. I do it all for my daughters too! I mean me also...but even as teens I see the changes in their choices and I know I am headed in the right direction.

    My kids tend to blurt out b-52 songs though... not cute lil owl songs :)

  2. Great post, Zeus. Glad to hear that you have done so well over the past 10 days.

  3. I too have been playing aroung with getting under 300 lbs for the past couple of weeks and I am so encouraged that you were able to right your ship! Kudos and have a fantastic weigh-in on Friday (mine is Saturday!!!).

  4. Duchess quarter pound chili cheeseburgers have added more than a few pounds to my body over the years. Now if I go to Duchess I get a salad and try not to get the house dressing. Just better to stay away all together.

  5. Beautiful! Kids know what to say when we are supposedly not listening that can make us realize just what kind of an impact we make on them. When you realize that responsibility is there for the person you love most, it only makes sense that you want to be your best :)