Monday, February 22, 2010

Still not a morning person...

Every morning I wake up and I say to myself "no way I am going to the gym today" and yet every day I go, I am definitely NOT a morning person. Yesterdays workout has left me sore and tired this morning despite me getting eight and a half hours sleep last night and like most mornings I woke up in a foul mood but as I write this I am already planning my workout for today so it passes quickly. I will admit that I will not be lifting weights today, I can also admit that today's workout will be very much not intense at all, in fact I may not even go to the gym as it looks like it will be a nice day outside and as long as there is no wind I might just take a walk around the lake but that is to be found out later.

This is an image from that same folder so the before is roughly the same guy in the picture that I describe below. The second image is from the day that I hit the 200 pounds lost point.

I did something on the 20th that I had not done in some time, I took my shirt off nothin but skivvies compare pictures and I just had the chance to load them onto my laptop and merge them with my Jan 6th 2008 images and I have to say wow! This is the first time since I started down this path that I looked at that Jan 6th 08 image and honestly thought "that is not me, I never looked that big" and I think that may be a turning point in this journey for me as far as body image goes. I was somewhere between 512 and 534 pounds in that photo and I look uncomfortable which is something Wify has said to me before about that very image but I can see it now after not looking at those pictures since October of 09 when the last compare picture was taken. I will of course spare anyone reading this the actual image of a 500 pound guy standing shirtless in his boxers as I am sure the mental image is enough at this hour of the day but when I get to my goal weight I may just be brave enough to post them.

The guy in that picture was afraid that he was going to suddenly die at any given moment because his heart would give out, the thought of having to be pulled through the side of his house through a fire department made hole was a fear that he had. Imagine thinking this way, I actually thought that if I started having a heart attack that I would do whatever I could to get myself out on the lawn so that hole would not have to be cut in the house and my family would be spared the humility of having that happen, even if it cost me a more severe heart attack to get out on the lawn. Its not that I didn't fit through a door at that size but on a stretcher with 8 guys carrying me? I just didn't see it happening.

When I was 500 plus pounds there was a routine to waking up, I would open my eyes and lay there for a moment before attempting to sit up which was really rolling to my right and swinging my legs off of the bed so that I had the leverage to sit up. After I was upright I needed to sit there for a couple of minutes to let my back realize that I was awake and about to hand it the task of supporting me once again then off to the living room I went for the next stage of being able to function. Sitting on the couch leaned forward stretching my back I sat for a while more flipping through channels or starting the PS2 up and then it was off to the kitchen for my half a box of cereal and the entire time felt groggy and all fuck the world like. These are not fond memories but they belong to me and looking at that compare picture made me start thinking about all of the things that I had to deal with at that weight.

I suppose I have never really been a morning kind of person but the comparison from then to now is so different and honestly back then I wasn't an any time of the day person! so not being especially chipper in the am now is something that I will take and smile about it every time.

That's all I got for today kids, remember to drink that H2O and to eat well, we make our own choices and the results of said choices belong to us.

As Ever


  1. Wake up and get to the gym!!

    I will even shovel your car out!

  2. I've become a morning person by consistently getting up at 5am.

  3. Exercising outside is always my first choice too.

    Your transformation is incredible!

  4. amazing changes, inside and out :)

  5. No gym for me. Too poor. But I DO have 2 good feet, and I am out that front door at 5am for a brisk walk in the pre-dawn darkness. Yesterday it was bitter cold, and I was tempted to bag it. Went anyway. So glad I did! I felt GREAT afterwards. Best of all, I saw 2 shooting stars, one chasing the other.


    Sometimes you get unexpected, and rare, gifts when you trek beyond your usual territory.

    Peace, man. You're one impressive dude!