Of course you can't see me for I'm not my former.

Learning from what a person does is the best form of education in my opinion, nothing can beat experience where learning is concerned. with that said I have in the past 8 months learned my limits on exercise again, I have learned how to eat properly and moderately and I have learned how to feel comfortable with myself again as far as my size goes. I can read one thousand books about weight loss & health and have that knowledge inside my cranium and be able to answer any question tossed at me by anyone and yet still weigh 500 plus pounds, BUT until I try it out for myself its not really worth as much as if I had the experience under my belt and lived it, now a combination of the two would be optimum. Random is my head this morning as I type and last night I was browsing at some photos of people that have lost weight and I noticed something about a lot of them, in the before weight loss photos the person generally does not look as happy as in the after shots, now I know that doesn't exactly seem hard to figure out, one, the before pic the person was heavy and likely uncomfortable with themselves, two, the person likely picked the worse photo to show the most dramatic difference possible (I know I am guilty!) but the thing that caught my attention the most was that the person looked comfortable with themselves in the after, and what I mean is they look like the size of their body is not something that is floating around the gray matter at surface depth, there is no tugging at clothing to make it feel right, there is no constantly pulling the pants up and just a generally happier look to them. I can remember a time in my life when it would not be totally uncommon for me to be walking around with shorts on with a button up shirt on but totally unbuttoned, that is when I was comfortable in my own skin and I can remember a time when even though I may have been a pretty good sized piece of real estate walking through the crowd I was none the less walking through the crowd. Something dawned on me a while back, I thought about my former self and I am the guy that cleared the pit at Woodstock 99, and what I mean is that mid song I found myself all alone in the middle of the pit demanding that I be joined so that I had someone to slam against but no one wanted any more of what was being handed out, one of my best friends that was there with me said to me shortly after that happened and I quote "I've never seen that side of you and I think I am a little scared now", How could I let myself go from that to a 534 pound guy that couldn't even walk 1/4 mile without making excuses to go back? I walked around Rome NY quite literally for four days all while participating in other physical activities for that event and went to work the day afterwards with no issues! that was only 9 years ago! but yeah like I said randomness is in my skull this morning.

This was taken I want to say on day 2 or 3 of Woodstock, and as a disclaimer that is NOT wify up on my shoulders.

Oh yeah I weighed in this morning, I am going to call it even with last week though there is a slight loss. Last week I weighed 389.4 pounds and this morning I weighed 388.8 pounds so its a .6 loss for the week which I will just round up to 389 pounds so no loss no gain for the week as far as recording it goes. this is actually good news in a way because it lets me know that I can indulge a bit and not gain anything, I did nil exercise this week barring a single ride on my bike on Wednesday and I ate at restaurants twice this week as well as had birthday cake a sundae and a rather large piece of chocolate silk cherry cake at my aunts house and my sleeping was way off this week as well, there was even a few beers in there and no weight gain, but rather a slight loss so can I be upset at this weeks number? no way, no how. I won't put up a pic of what weighs the same etc because its the same as last week for the most part and I did give ya that Woodstock photo instead. I will be back on track this week and plan on exercising daily, My Mom has returned home to CA and there will hopefully be no distractions this week.

That is how do they say? all she wrote for todays entry, thanks for reading along.

As Ever
Me