Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A turning point, can you see around the bend?

Here I am, just me, doing what I need to do and its turning into something that I want to do, or let me say it differently, something that I crave. Not so long ago it was that random slim jim or 12 at the gas station that I wanted, or a slice of cake at a birthday party that would rival some entire cakes, or a Big D chili cheese burger (some of you New England people may recognize what that is) and now things are so different its like someone else is where I was or am. Today my little one is feeling under the weather and is home from school and I will miss my afternoon at the gym because of it, I am disappointed that I cannot go, I am looking for a sitter for this evening so that me and the boss lady may head out to get a work out in. I am amazed still at how I feel about working out again, I hear people say things like "Blah I have to go to the gym tonight" or "I don't feel like working out today but I know I have to so I will" and its not how I feel about it. I can't wait until its time to head out and get to the gym, getting there and seeing A.D.D. girl on the arc trainer every day with the tv on, an ipod in her ears and a book perched below the tv screen all while working harder than I have ever seen a person work out, or the 4 stooges, four old men that work harder than I have ever seen an old guy work out, hell harder than a lot of young people! they do work out in between making fun of one another but none the less every day they are there.

I had lost that part of me with the weight gain, He was in there but hiding, maybe just too depressed to come out and play or perhaps it was easier to eat and sulk, I am still unsure to this day but I tell you that the other guy, you know..the bigger fella, he will never be back because this is too much fun. I said in an older post once upon a time ago

"Once exercise is a habit you will no longer think of it as anything but what you WANT to do, It will not be sugary treats or greasy burgers that consume your thoughts, you will instead crave a rapid heart rate and beading sweat, the burn that comes with a good workout will be the "treat" that drives your every second of the day and before you know it healthy living will happen right before your eyes, astounded and impressed with yourself victory will be yours"


and I have to say that statement has never been truer for me as it is this day. I have replaced a need/want for the sticky goodness of a Cinibon for a burn in my legs, this is what I crave.

I have accomplished something that I never thought possible, I lost more than 200 pounds and I did it on my own, which isn't actually fair to say because my family has been an immeasurably large resource for inspiration and support along the way. This blog Has been big in helping me keep on track until I could get to this point as well, logging my days on here along with some of my conclusions and ah ha moments helps also because there have been times where I have gone back into my own blogs and re-read them so that I could focus, there is so much that has helped me stay on track. One of the craziest things to me is that I have already lost more than 200 pounds and I still have a ways to go which can be disheartening at times because I do want to lose another 70 pounds and against the 200 that has already been lost it seems a small task but it is still 70 pounds! and the last 70 to boot so I anticipate it getting a bit harder the smaller I get. Can I presume that I will get there? I mean all the way down to below 265 pounds? I cannot presume anything because there are too many factors in life hence my situation in the first place but can I say that I will do everything that I can to get that last 70 pounds off? You already know the answer to that question if you have read any of my blog at all, I look forward to the day that I can say I have lost 50% of my total body weight.

Today I leave you with a Buddhist proverb.

"If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking"...

Which direction are you facing?

As Ever


  1. Just wanted to say thank you - your blog is truly an inspiration and you seem to always say what I need to hear, so many days it feels like you are writing my thoughts - not so much today I still crave pizza instead of exercise - ha ha. Anyway, I just really wanted to say thank you. Seriously. Also because of you, today I am facing the right way!

  2. its an inspiration and you are so flipping talented when it comes to expressing how you feel and what youre experiencing as well...