Fat guy on ice.

Long time no blog! well six days anyways, I have been how do I say? laid up for a couple few days because of my jungle cat like gracefulness last Friday. During the last snowfall here in Connecticut I thought that it would be a grand idea to have the small people that live with me go outside and play in the icy fun that was falling from the sky while I shoveled the driveway and cleared off the motorized wagons parked in said driveway. Clearly I state mostly for the twelve year old small person who has a knack for doing the wrong thing most of the time "stay where I can see you until I am done shoveling" the five year old small person agreed as did the other and off they went to the front yard. Noticing that all I can hear is the small one yelling I decided to walk around the side of the house and amazingly the twelve year old was on the other side of the yard with the smaller of the two creatures boot in hand filling it with snow. The dad in me took over as I yelled at him to get his...um... please come over here boy which he apparently suffered from sudden deafness as he bolted in the opposite direction that I told him to go. Now while I am walking towards the small one to help get her boot back on and NOT looking at where my feet are being placed on the steep snow covered sheet of ice that I like to call a driveway abruptly and faster than I thought possible my feet were in the air and I felt like the coyote in a roadrunner cartoon as I seemingly floated in mid air for a few seconds before crashing to the bottom of a ravine. All 300 pounds of me landed pinpointed on my right hip, low on the hip but yeah, As I lay on the driveway the smaller of the two came over and squatted down placing her face within two inches of mine and asked with all sincerity "Dada, why are you laying in the driveway?" because I am honey.

Random shot of our snow fort, the hole looks deceivingly small in this shot but I can just about crawl through that hole on my hands and knees and not hit the edges, the pile started out about 9 feet tall.

After the fall I finished shoveling the driveway which in hindsight may have been the wrong decision because of the fact that here it is Tuesday and I am still in pain and cannot lay on my right side. I haven't been to the gym in that same time and sitting around bored, in pain and unmotivated because of it has wreaked havoc on my good habits and I have been finding myself on the wrong side of some meals that I probably should have passed on. My daughter has been home from school for the past two days with a low grade fever and Sunday night was up until about 1am coughing and puking, yay! lack of sleep resulted in a couple few cups of coffee and I have not been staying hydrated at all so I am sure that I am up in weight. "Why don't you just get on the scale man?" The good ol scale went kaput last week so I haven't been on the scale in more than a week and honestly I am unsure that I would want to see what it has to say right now, I am sure the hard work that I have been putting in is also....kaput.

Not making it to the gym is how do I say? Driving fuckin' nuts! I shouldn't say that because its not the gym really its the lack of exercise as I would really prefer to be riding one of my bikes out on the trail over any trip to the gym. In the background, meaning not making the blog I have been doing the 100 push ups program in an attempt to get some personal goals out of the way, I had been making great progress and literally broke through an old personal record last week before the mishap in the driveway so I am unsure how that will be effected as its a progressive program. Something that I noticed about myself is that if I can't workout in some way or another it does affect the way that I feel, I don't want to say that I get depressed but holy hell am I itching for a workout as I write this. When pain is whats stopping me from doing what I do and there is nothing that I can do about it I feel caged or something and then the boredom kicks in and I resort to grabbing some "snacks" which eventually leads to my going over calories, hmmmm seems like I have been to this rodeo before.

That last statement kicked me in the face yesterday afternoon because my original weight gain was largely accompanied with an injury that lead to all of what I just described above but in a larger scale with my back injury. No, I am not going to backslide my way back to 534 pounds because I slipped on some ice and banged my hip like an elderly person but the fact that I can make some comparisons that seem very much alike one another is a tad bit scary for me because it is possible if I let it be to fall into that cycle. Unsure when I will make it back to the gym, perhaps tomorrow for at the very least a brisk walk on a treadmill, I do have to keep my daily calories in tact and not go over my allowed amount that's in the bank, there is no reason that I should eat badly just because I am sitting around bored and unable to workout. When I think about what I just said about sitting around bored and unable to workout I am instantly flung back in time and I know that's what got me up to 500 pounder with cheese status and falling off of that wagon for a couple days is one thing but not snatching up the reigns and getting back to the task at hand is another thing all together.

Slipping on the ice isn't the only place that I slipped over the last few days, I have had slips during this process and know that I will continue to have them, we all do. There is a lot going on in my life right now that is not related to my weight loss and or health and all at the same time it is directly related because I have so much more because of making the changes in my life that helped me get healthy again.

Today I leave you with a quote that I have agreed with for quite a long time.

"Half of life is fucking up, the other half is dealing with it"
~Henry Rollins~

As ever
Me

A new record and really missing the trail.

Back to the gym and the timing couldn't be better, Feeling a bit of a twang in my throat yesterday I decided to do some push ups last night to get the blood pumping then today after my trip to the gym today its completely gone. Missing out on my real bike rides being forced to accept the fact that I will be on a stationary bike or spin bike until it dries out and warms up I thought that it would be a chance to go for that over 100 average RPM zone that I have been wanting. Thirty minutes on the bike set at level 11 netted me 12.34 virtual miles, 228 avg watts, 12.37 avg MET's and 101 avg RPM's, something else that I found out on this ride is that K7's song Come baby come is good for a solid 108 RPM pace. This new record avg RPM for me has me thinking about that perhaps I should start riding the rail trail with one ear bud in on low volume just as a cadence tool, I enjoy the wind and the sounds around me when I ride though so perhaps not but I do think I will toy with this idea when I get back out there.

101 average RPM's, finally busted into that triple digit mark.

It still amazes me that when I don't get my cardio into any given day how piss poor my attitude gets, I honestly crave the movement and get grumpy when I can't squeeze a solid workout into my day. It wasn't that long ago when I would get a piss poor attitude because I had to move! I still to this day can't blame myself and I do feel bad when I see a heavier person struggle because I know exactly how it feels, I am unsure that I will ever forget that part of being 500 plus pounds. I honestly feel that my bike, or should I say bicycling as a whole has played a huge role in my weight loss, "but Mister meatball you only bought that K2 bike in June of 2009 right? you had lost just about 200 pounds at that point already" Indeed I did! BUT I bought a stationary bike off of craigslist only 11 days into my trip to the half. From the beginning I, dare I say dreamed? of getting back onto two wheels again but when you weigh 500 pounds and are unsure if making it through a month of good eating and exercising is realistic but from that day when I got the new/old stationary bike I hoped that I would be able to get back onto a bike.

My bicycling means a lot to me, more than I probably let on and when I am riding down a trail I am in control, I am doing something that I want to do and its on my terms and my terms alone which at 500 plus pounds is not an option most of the time. I have even incorporated my bicycling into a tattoo that I got to remind me how far I've come down this road that is weight loss, Last year I designed and drew up the line work and off I went to add to my ink collection. I have heard that some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, this somewhat like that as I wear the design on my forearm for anyone to see and have answered a coupled inquiries already as to what it means, it serves as a reminder of all of the hard work that has gone into my health. Saying that I am a changed man some 1114 days after I made the decision to make my health a priority would not begin to describe how different things are in my life and those around me who depend on me.

Today it is raining on top of the remainder of the snow that was dropped into the New England air last week and looking out my window I am literally weighing the pros and cons of taking my new Crisscross out for a ride. My life, my terms my future, I refuse to live it any other way at this point and though I remember like it was yesterday the struggle to do anything past sitting on a couch will never be my present again, memories will be all that I keep of life at 500 pounds.

That my friends, is all that I have for today.

As Ever
Me

Day 1113, news? and 36 hangers...

Between the snow, dance classes, birthday parties, OBGYN appts and rearranging just about the entire house I have not had a single minute to myself in four or five days and my body feels it. Friday was the last day that I made it to the gym because of all of the things happening around me all at once so the plan was to hit it hard today but alas the weather gods decided that my children would be home from school again because of freezing rain on top of last weeks feet of snow so I doubt that I will make an appearance at ye olde gym today. I'm going to have to admit that I haven't been the strictest fella when it comes to counting my calories either over the last few days, random schedules and just plain old forgetting to eat has lead to some haphazard meals and meal times.

My wife's creative way to store some extra clothes hangers from our rearrangement of the house yesterday.

What has my bike been reduced to!

The lack of gym time is leading me to really miss my trail, I drive by the trail head and see freshly driven snow, zero tracks or marks in it and something in me says "go get your bike and make some tracks" but alas the snow is deep and without seeing what hides beneath it would be ill advised me tinks. Compound the untouched trail with the fact that Wify has found a use for my K2 and somehow I am really feeling the need to take a ride! a real ride, I am not talking about on a stationary bike! My poor faithful mountain bike has been reduced to an expensive clothes hanger holder for the time being with 36 slaps to the face hanging from her backbone, I suppose that I can't complain too much as it IS in my bedroom.

Tomorrow the children should return to school and I am planning on kicking my own arse at the gym to make up for the couple few days without anything that I would call cardio aside from the shoveling. Missing out on that part of my day effects me, I am literally bouncing off of the walls looking for things to do in order to make up for some of the lack of movement I suppose such is life in the north east eh? When the roads clear a bit I do believe that I will be taking one of the new old bikes out for a cold wet ride mostly because I can't stand it any more but also because I have been jonesin' to take that Crisscross out for a ride since I picked it up. Eat well and often, exercise daily while living life to the fullest is how I get down these days and sooner than later my time will be even more restricted because of a new "addition" so I must bust thee ass in order to get as close as possible to my line in the sand before that day "arrives".

Some news perhaps? complaining about the status of my bike? wishing that the snow would subside just a tad bit so that I might get out on two wheels? all of the above, some more subtle than others and the band shall play on while the world keeps spinning. My life is so different than it was three years ago, than when I was 500 plus pounds and I am embracing everything that I have because of a three year old decision and my only regret would be that I did not decide to do something about my weight problem sooner.

Keep on keepin' on and remember that everything that life offers is mine and yours alike for the taking.

That's all I got for today.

As Ever
Me

A summary of sorts.

I don't read many magazines, I watch fewer television than most people and really don't read any "diet" books, I never have, Taking a "diet" pill is a foreign concept to me and I don't think that I am like most people that have battled with weight issues and yet am one in the same on so many levels. I came into this world once upon a time in the 70's and honestly remember a normal childhood for the most part, I mean sure I was called fat from time to time and always seemed to be the biggest kid in a group but so what? I knew kids that got called broomstick, nerd, chick-a-dude, fag, burn out and scare crow, why would it define a person? you know someone else's opinion. I honestly felt that everyone had tags at that age and like I said for the most part felt like part of the group, sort of like Our gang aka the little rascals, at least in the younger years because once about 7th grade hit and the opposite sex started playing a role things changed a bit.

Broomstick did ok, burn out and scare crow even got some play but the fat kids always got relabeled, the funny kid and some even got called bully mostly because of our size on the latter I suppose but this was indeed around the time that I remember the whole "fat" persona becoming an issue. Even though this was my label not of choice I did ok as far as having friends enough to get into trouble with but having that "fat" label stick so hard and actually mean something started bothering me but hey! its who I was right chick-a-dude? so of course I embraced it. I can remember my mother offering me a dollar for every pound that I lost back around that time and I thought, "a dollar per pound? what I am I Bologna?" Nah, I'm good. Never once in my life have I taken a so called "diet pill" I have had friends offer advice throughout the years and never once did I take it. My best friend whom was getting that fat label because of the rotundness that was forming around him one summer decided that he wasn't going to be a round boy any more and literally just cut what he ate in half and lost a lot of weight over a summer and even seeing that and knowing how he did it I just said "cool! wanna go for a bike ride?" seriously it happened just like that.

Graduating high school lead to one (or was it two) of the best summers to date for me, lots of hanging at the beach with pony bottles of bud (because we were bad asses like that) and good times, but alas! I hadn't an ol lady on my arm and this was problematic for me. One would think that the time to hunker down and drop some weight was here! I mean here I was 18 or 19 years old and about 350 pounds no lady and a ton of good times but was I really happy? gleefully miserable perhaps but that being alone thing was the real poker. Never even considering the option of dropping some weight more seriously than a day or two of not eating bad only to get right back to it the following day or hour was pretty much the routine. I was that big guy, it was who I am and if someone was going to be with me then its who they got because its the way it was going to be, nothing more, nothing less.

None of that got me to ever read a "diet" book, nothing in that list made me want to run out and join some pay per plan and even though I watched my aunts take every diet pill on the market and count calories with some success it was never an option for me. I read lots of Sports nutrition, weight lifting, power lifting, whole foods, and regular old nutrition books over the years starting around age 17 or so and a lot of that stuck but applying it wasn't as easy as reading it. I knew what I needed to do but was happier running up to Port Chester NY to hit the after hour bars or heading to New Haven for a hardcore show than applying anything healthy to my life. The "big guy" now more than the fat guy now but at the core of it I was in fact still the fat guy, one day I decided that I would run so I started going to a park in Fairfield CT and run at night, me? the fat guy? running? yes sir, I sure did.

The running was short lived and back to the lifestyle that got me upwards of 350 pounds I went, shortly thereafter the love of my life walked in and I found myself going to California without an aching in my heart. BAMN! blew my back out shortly after getting to Cali and ended up gaining most of my weight there, one day I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the guy looking back and it was all down hill from there. My high weight is 534 pounds, I was more than that the summer before I began losing the weight that is recorded in my blog and if I had to guess I would say I was probably 30 pounds more than the 534 mark in early 2007. Still "diet" pills had no place in my life, Weight watchers and slimfast, any of those pay to play programs always seemed like a rip off to me so I never even considered them an option but what could I do?

I decided that I would go the calorie counting road and see what happened, I dusted off some of my old nutrition books a short time after starting and I have lost more than 200 pounds so far without the help of anything with the word "diet" pasted to it. There is enough information out there that in my VERY humble opinion anyone can carve their way down to whatever weight they so desire as long as the work is put into it. I read blogs and see stories on the internet and elsewhere about how people dropped thousands of dollars into every diet plan on the planet before they realized that hard work, discipline and adding movement into their lives is the key to living healthy and I am proud to say that I have never fallen prey to that kind of thing. I think that those plans can work and have heard of people having had great success on some of them but I am also in the opinion that they work because of the change in thinking of the people on them more than the plan itself, which can be acquired without any monthly payment.

My life has changed in more ways than any of you reading this blog knows and I share a lot here! I look in the mirror these days and the guy that looks back is someone that I want to be. We have to make the most of every minute that we have because if we choose to eat fatty foods in excessive amounts while sitting on our arses, it will only lead us to looking at a reflection that does not match what our minds eye knows and an early death could be lurking around the next corner. Discipline, hard work and staying focused on eating healthy while getting some movement into each of our days is a must to lose the weight that holds us back, it doesn't matter if you choose to let someone create a plan for you or read up and create your own but sicking to it and doing something about the problem is the only thing that is going to help the weight come off.

Moral of this story you ask? Put the cupcake down, get up off of your ass! its the only way that its going to work.

That's all I got for today

As Ever
Me

Lots of snow, lots of exercise, tis a good day for a fat guy.

This morning I was woke up with the BOOMS! of Thunder show! it was actually pretty cool but I knew what my day had in store for me. I attempted to open my back door and take a look at the damage from last nights snow storm and couldn't open the door because there was more than a foot of snow blocking it. Forcing my way out I could see that mother nature owned our asses here in Connecticut and for whatever reason I smiled, I really don't mind the snow and the weather guy said that there is 26 inches of fallen snow in my town and I have a drift in my yard that is higher than my waist so I believe what he says! I figured I would get right at it even though it was and is still snowing (should stop around 2PM) with shovel in hand out I went to attempt to dent the blanket of frosty snow from my walkways and driveway.

This is what I woke up to, see the little black spot on the one car? that's the mirror!

More than 2 hours later the driveway is pretty clear but its suppose to keep snowing until 2:00 PM so I will undoubtedly be back out there this afternoon, take a look at where the snow goes up to on the wheel of the Cherokee!

I sit here typing out my post today and wonder just how many calories that snow clearing for almost two and a half burns! I suppose that I am ok with the fact that I am going to have to skip the gym today. Wify is home today, the animals are home too, we wanted to try and go sledding sometime today but I have a feeling its going to be movies and hot cocoa all around instead and I am fine with that. I think back to my heavier days and how I loathed snow because it was of course my job to clear it and every single time I wondered if I was going to be the heart attack for the day that always seems to make the news during snow storms. I at 8:30 am hopped into some warm clothes and spent 2.5 hours clearing more than 2 feet of snow from my driveway and when I was done walked around playing in the deeper drifts just for kicks, this new life is so much better than the 500 pound version that I had been living.

Just a compare shot of the height of the fence.

Same fence with some pretty deep snow around it.

There are things in my life now that a lot of people take for granted and I can compare the situations from a 500 pound point of view and then a 300 pound view. I have to say that at 500 pounds I was much more limited than I am now than I would have ever admitted back then. I have said this in the past and I like to reiterate from time to time not starting is the worse thing that a person trying to lose weight can do because once the ball starts rolling it gets easier, every journey starts with a single step but if that step is not taken then stationary is where you will stay. Taking control of our lives is the way we will take them back, something as simple as shoveling a driveway can snap some memories into my head and get me thinking about not so long ago and the way things were and its not something that I am willing to allow back into my life. Changing the way that I look at food and exercise is why I have had success with weight loss and I honestly believe that anyone that wants to put in the time and discipline can have it too.

A huge storm hath cometh giving me a day to reflect upon some of the situations that I had to deal with in my not so distant past, I got some alternative exercise into my day and get to spend a little time with the love of my life, that in my opinion is a good day. I have a couple of kids begging for cocoa right now so the end has come to today's episode of As the fat guy turns, Keep on keepin on and all that and all of you New England folks stay warm! especially my fellow Connecticut people.

That's all I got for today.

As Ever
Me

Bustin' arse at the gym and a menu.

Making my way towards the line in the sand that I put there so long ago I pissed myself off yesterday because I ate something not in my calorie allotment and I did it just because I wanted to. Things like that do not happen to me very often but when it does and I catch myself aggravation sets in and I tend to take it out on myself at the gym. I got to the gym a little early today because we're suppose to get a good amount of snow over night and I had some errands to run, when I got there it was on. Onto the bike I went and averaged 96 RPM's for 30 minutes, a quick wipe down of the bike and I found an empty treadmill and did some interval running for 20 minutes, 6.0 MPH for 60 seconds then walk at 3.3 MPH for 60 on and off until my 20 minutes was gone. Finishing things off at the gym I did another 10 minutes at more of a cool down pace on the bike and off I went to finish off my errands.

Today's ride through the gym, man I am wishing it was the rail trail right about now.

Having done this better health thing for just over three years or 1106 days now I have a feel for what I need to do to lose weight and what I need to do in order to maintain weight. Once upon a time not so long ago Tommy use to work on the docks...no wait that's something else, but not so long ago I was a 500 pound man who had no idea what the future held for him. I am now a just over 300 pound guy that does pretty much what he wants to but I know how much further I can go, I know that I am capable of going all the way. Pushing myself every day is going to be the key to my success, I can eat right and workout every day but unless I push myself just past where I think my limit stops I will just continue to maintain. This is my world, I can have anything that I want in it but the work will have to be put in, I have already put a ton of work into this venture to be as healthy as I can, now its time to see it run its course.

Tuesday's menu for your viewing pleasure.

Breakfast
7:30 AM
2 cups corn pops 240
1 cup 1% milk 110

10:45 AM
Dark chocolate Zone bar 190

Lunch
2:00 PM
2 80 cal wraps 160
1oz italian cheese 90
1.5 cheddar 120
salsa 25

3:45 PM
pear 85

Dinner
6:00 PM
2 80 cal wraps 160
5oz ground turkey 200
1oz low fat cheese 80
lettuce/tom/onion/jalapeno/salsa 50
2 T light sour cream 40

7:00 PM
WW ice cream 130

1680 total calories for the day and a post that is later than normal but I had some time and thought I would pop on before I hit the sack and drop some random words on ya. Just over 19 days until I weigh in for the blog again and the plan is to push myself until then and see where the wheel stops, I have a feeling that it will be a decent month but its an over all result that I am going for. April first will be here before I know it and I am planning on being deep into the 200's by then, as close to 275 as possible would be optimal and I will try to get there with everything that I can muster. Warm weather will be here all too soon and I can resume my bike rides out on the trails, I am considering attempting a century on the rail trail but honestly the idea of that is getting way ahead of myself as I just started hitting 20 mile rides at the end of last season but who knows!

A little bit random, just a tad late but there it is, my ramblings for the day! We are expecting the mother load of snow tonight and I will try to get another post up in the am at some point after I shovel the driveway so until then keep on keepin on and all that, As the fat guy turns has concluded for the evening.

As Ever
Me

Menu's, workouts, and an immovable stone in your world of the weak...

Thursday went as smooth as a day could go as far as eating properly and exercise goes, Stayed within my calorie range and made it to the gym, it was a fine day all around. The gym is still more crowded than usual I assume due to all of the new year resolution people, the treadmills are thinning out a bit so finding one to walk on after my workout is no issue. Yesterdays workout was 30 minutes on the bike and 25 on a treadmill, the bike ended up at just over 11 miles at 91 RPM's and I am happy with that, treadmill was 25 minutes 3.4MPH 5% incline. My intake was spot on coming in at 1720 calories for the day, I more than had enough veggies while fluid consumption was on par coming in at just over 2 gallons between the green tea and H2O.

Wednesdays bike ride averaged 92 RPM and just over eleven and a quarter virtual miles, Avg Watts? MET's? no clue what that means besides something about how hard the rider is working, perhaps I should google it!

Thursdays bike ride at the gym netted me 91 average RPM's and just over 11 virtual miles.

I have been keeping a meticulous recording of my intake on my excel sheet lately and thought that I would post up yesterdays menu for anyone who cares to check it out.

01/06/11 Menu

Breakfast
7:30 AM
2 cups corn pops 240
1 cup 1% milk 110

11:00 AM
Dark chocolate almond Zone bar 190

1:45 PM
Mixed veggies 140
2 T light sour cream 40
1/2 T Smart balance 25
8oz baked potato 200

3:15 PM
1 Banana 105
1.25 T peanut butter 120

6:00 PM
5oz ground turkey 200
2 80 cal rolls 160
Steamed brussel sprouts 150

6:45 PM
1/2 pear 40

Grand total 1720 calories, and I am happy with what went in, lots of fruits and veggies followed by more than enough fluids. I have tunnel vision with reaching my goals, getting to that 275 pound mark is more important to me than almost anything right now for a very personal reason that will be shared soon enough. Easin' on down this yellow brick road currently with one thing on my mind, beating the rest of the fat on my bones into submission and being as healthy as I can be is my mission, I won't fail.

We all have decisions to make on a daily basis, most of the decisions we make are not crucial but then there are those that define us. Making the decision to get healthier back in 2008 is defining me, it is showing myself how disciplined that I can be as long as I put my mind into it and rush the gate with everything that I have in me. I will get to my goal this year, hopefully I will get most of the way there if not all of the way before April gets here but if not the pushing will get that much harder. We all have choices to make on a daily, we can choose to float along with the flow and what happens happens or we can decide that we will control every turn that we make and force our way through the tougher situations and create our own destiny.

I choose to force my way through and get exactly what I want out of life.

As Ever
Me

My bikes, my obsession?

Its a later than normal post and I have been playing around with some of my bicycles getting them ready for the spring and Craigslist. I believe that I know which ones will be kept for myself and which are going to new riders, maybe I don't but it dawned on me that I have photos of each of the bikes that I have and thought I would do a more bike kind of post since I had a minute. When I was 500 pounds there wasn't a chance in hell that I would have been able to take a spin around the block on a bike and since losing the weight I am well..I'll just say it, addicted to messing about with older bicycles. It all started with an idea and a walk through a sporting goods store, that idea ended up with me driving home with a brandy new 2009 K2 Zed in my car, from there I was obsessed with bikes again. When I was a kid I had an old Huffy Santa fe' 10 speed, that turned into a Schwinn Super le' tour which ended up getting stolen off of my back porch in the early 90's and that was the last time that I owned a bike until the K2. I thought it would be fun to post up my little collection that I have acquired over the past months since I got a couple inquiries as to "what kind of this or that" do I have lately, so here goes.

The one that started it all my K2 Zed, this was a birthday gift from my wife in June of 2009 I was very self conscious about getting back on a bike because of my size and I even had my father pop off a quick picture of me sitting on it in the store before I bought it for that reason. This picture is exactly how I got it and there have been some changes to the bike since then but I figured it was a good shot so there she is, I started off riding about a 3 mile loop near my house and ended last year with 20 mile runs on the local rails to trails.

I picked this 1991 Schwinn Crisscross up just last week for a decent price and the frame is my size, its a really comfy position when I am on it and I will not be getting rid of this one any time soon. The plan is to upgrade a couple things and make this my secondary ride, or for when I am going to be doing more riding on the street than the rail trail.

From what I can tell this is a 1994 Trek 750 multitrack, I like the way it rides and it fits me but is a little small but it does adjust to a comfortable fit. I was thinking that if it adjusts down to closer to my wife's size that I would give it to her but it may be just a tad too big for her but since she hasn't checked yet I don;t know if it would work, my guess is that it will be just a bit too tall for her. This will likely be up for sale in the spring unless wify ends up liking it but she is more of a hiking kind of gal so chances are it will be on the list of craigs eventually.

I haven't looked into the year too much on this one, its a Trek 220 mountaintrack and is a kids bike, I suppose a small woman could ride it too but its more geared for kids. I thought about giving this one to my son as an upgrade to his bike but his is brand new (a year old) and he didn't seem to like this one so much when I brought it home so again it will probably end up on Craigslist at some point.

This is a 1995 Specialized Hardrock Sport, this frame is way too small for me but the bike is like new! if Wify does want a bicycle this will likely be the one that I make more comfortable for her. There is not a lot that I can say negative about this one besides a broken grip shifter that still works, I rode this one around the lake last week when it was warm and if it was my size I would keep it for sure. I am replacing the grip shift and it will go onto the list of craigs unless wify fancy's it once I have it 100% with the new grip shifter on it.

This one for whatever reason is very cool to me and I can't figure out my attachment to it! its a 1988 Specialized Rockhopper Comp and other than some spots that could use touch up paint rides awesome! I think that its all of the work that I put into it to get it looking good, this thing was covered in dirt, grime and all of the chrome bits were covered in a light rust. I spent more than a couple hours cleaning her up and was the first of my "addiction" after the K2, perhaps that's where the attraction is. It has new tires on it as it sits now (the tires in this image are gone) and its all cleaned up and ride ready, its a bit small for me but it is comfortable, more than likely it will go up for sale come spring but I don't want to let this one go.

Just a small unknown year Murray Legacy, this one will definitely go up for sale come spring, its too small for me, my son doesn't dig the looks or the only 10 speeds and ita gotta go so I can make room for more new old bikes.

Early 1990's Specialized Hardrock sport, I picked this one up last spring and cleaned it up, tuned it up and sold it to my brother in laws girlfriend, She seemed happy with it, I am happy that it got sold so win win for everyone. I was able to sell a bike so this proves that I can do it! so Wify knows that I have it in me to actually let go of a bike and our basement is starting to look like a bike shop between all of the parts I have accrued and the eight bikes that live down there currently not to mention the one in my bedroom.

I may have traded addictions or perhaps just found a hobby that helps me nurture a healthy lifestyle, either way I enjoy playing around with bikes and I like riding them even more. None of my bikes are the end all of high end two wheeled vehicles but they have all in their own way helped me to stay on track in one way or another along the way. As far as hobbies go I will take this one over my Playstation and Final Fantasy 11 online any day but it wasn't the case once upon a time and I am still a Final Fantasy geek even if I don't play online anymore.

That's my fleet? stable? pile O bikes, some I will keep, some will be sold in order to buy more bikes, this is my hobby and it is in fact an integral part of how I am able to keep the weight off. When You love what you do for exercise its not hard to go out there and do it every day, I even for some odd reason miss it if I can't get to the gym and take a ride on a spin bike or a stationary bike, it suits me.

That's all I got for tonight.

As Ever
Me

Coming to terms with the pain.

The gym has been a little challenging lately, not because I am working my ass off therefore I am challenged but because of the treadmill army that seems to have developed. My normal routine usually ends with a 20 minute brisk walk at a mild incline just to slow things down before I walk out the door but lately it has been nuts at the treadmills but I suppose tis the season. The time that I normally go isn't an especially popular time and the gym is relatively calm when I am usually there, no lines for equipment, no waiting and I hope all of these beginning of the year commandos don't last too much longer! which is bad to say honestly because it means more people are working out and that's good right? I am a creature of habit and having to search for a treadmill isn't what I want to do but the fact that I might have to wait for a treadmill isn't going to stop me from doing what I do. In the beginning all I could do is walk and I somehow connect my success with that fact and I try to walk every day as much as possible because of that, I believe that a person that walks in addition to what could be called "a workout" has a leg up on the game figuratively as well as literally!

My virtual bike ride results from yesterday, RPM's are slightly lower than normal and don't pay attention to the heart rate as it was the only time I touched it and I was pedaling about 105 RPM's when I did that! not a bad 30 minutes.

There are people of all sizes and shapes that need or want to lose weight, get healthier or just workout because it feels good! and some of the bigger folks have to struggle a bit more because of the weight. The new season of The biggest loser started last night and of course I watched it as I do each season (I am sure there will be a ton of blog posts about TBL today but hey! its relevant to what I am gonna say!) anyways, there was a fella on the show that weighed if I remember right 507 pounds and he had already lost 150 pounds to get onto the show or something to that effect, anyways to my point. The 500 pound guy got off of the treadmill at one point and said that his leg hurt and it looked like he tossed himself onto the floor of the gym to prove his point (which at 500 pounds probably wasn't a good idea!) he laid there for a moment and then got up and said something like "it feels better now" and I thought about the whole display and how that state of mind is not a good one when facing a challenge like that. At 500 plus pounds guess what? working out is going to hurt! even just walking like that fella was doing, it IS GOING TO HURT, I know this because I lived it.

When I started off and I know that I've mentioned this before I could only walk for roughly 5 to 10 minutes at a time, my back and legs were on fire the entire time, I was covered in sweat and breathing hard enough to suck any unfortunate bird that flew too close into my lungs. At first I thought about how would I continue? this shit hurts! so the next day I did the same, I walked as far as I could and slowly added length to my walks, then speed and here I am today. Coming to terms with the fact that when you weigh as much as two people that exercising is going to hurt must happen, it is not comfortable, it is not fun but it is in fact a necessity for a healthy life. I don't mean an injury kind of hurt either, that is something different all together but if you expect to walk around and float through the air with the grace of a Gazelle its just not going to happen, we have to crawl before we walk, walk before running and on and on, the graceful part comes later, I hope.

I began this trip to the half three years ago, walking at a two year old girls pace and thought about the day that I would be able to do 30 minutes straight of any kind of cardiovascular workout, that day seemed so far ahead but I knew if I kept going that I would get there and now an hour is par for the course. I wanted to use that excuse of "it hurts" many times, a lot of the time Wify would say in her kindest voice "you should just do it, once your done you can relax knowing that you did it" and she was right so I pushed through it. In the beginning I was in pain almost constantly, I mean sore when I say in pain, I mean my arse hurting from the seat on my exercise bike and the 500 pounds of pressure that was balanced on that small seat for a whopping 10-15 minutes at a time. Coming to terms with the fact that it is going to hurt is as I said key, even now three years later I get sore after an especially hard workout, walking doesn't hurt any more, biking doesn't hurt me at all but a hike can and does leave its mark most times and I do that for fun these days.

Extra weight will not fall off on its own, we have to make sacrifices in order to get into the shape that we want to, pain will be a part of the process, discomfort will be a part of the process and giving up all of that comfort food will also be a part of that process. In my opinion weighing 500 pounds comes with more pain, discomfort and agony than any exercise gave me, I have come to terms with the fact that exercise does in fact at times hurt, I'm done hurting because of my weight so I'll gladly take it.

As Ever
Me

You wear disgust like a crown.

Keep on keepin on, that's what He says right? this Zeusmeatball fella, This is the plan for me, I am on a roll and keeping to that has got to be how it goes down. Talking about myself in the third person now? sort of, a while back I wrote a post as Anthony and of course that is my name and the post was by me (though I think a lot of people missed that part of the post) anyways back to my point. When I started writing this blog I was a 534 pound guy that was unsure about how this run at a lighter version of himself was going to pan out and I took on the persona of this God of the meatball namely Zeusmeatball partially because I thought it was a cool name but also because I wanted to remain relatively anonymous. My blog has evolved a bit since that first day of sheepishly writing down my thoughts for the first time and I now put it all out there as long as its weight loss or health related for anyone that cares to click the link which leads to my little nook on the net and I do it as Tony, or simply sign off with "Me" after each post. I am not even close to the same person as when I started down this road to better health and am finding that hiding behind an alias isn't something that I need to do any more but I like the Zeusmeatball persona so he...er, it stays but know that I am not in the same state of mind as that 534 pound version of myself.

State of mind? where have I heard that before? oh! that's right! its sort of my tag line and is right on the header of the blog and has been there from day one. People have emailed me, left comments for me and have messaged me on my facebook page asking me "how do you do it? how do you stick to losing weight?" or "can you explain to me how to lose weight?" and I mostly just link them to my day 1 post and say start here to see what I did. I don't have no singular answer as to how I did it, in the most basic way I ate less and moved more. I believe that the most important part of any weight loss regimen is getting into a state of mind that will allow us to keep focused on the task at hand no matter what gets in the way. I could tell you stories of woe and sorrow, stress and dismay that has happened over the last few years but this blog is about my weight loss and the efforts because of that, not about my personal struggles outside of weight loss, besides I am sure you have your own battles. In lieu of any of the madness that goes on around any of us we have to keep our minds right, forcing ourselves into a state of mind which dictates that health is one of if not the most important goals each day is key.

Knowing that we are able to do whatever we put our minds to is very important, this isn't something that I was unaware of at 534 pounds but it is harder to push when simply walking to the bathroom to take a piss is a chore. I mentioned in earlier posts that my father once talked about how small fish will routinely attack fish that are much bigger than themselves in an attempt to eat them or defend etc and how they have no idea of their relative size to the bigger fish because they can't see themselves so in essence they think that they are the dominant fish in this clash therefore they are. This state of mind that I talk about is like that in the way that you are what you believe yourself to be, a lazy no good fat ass on the couch with nothing better to do than eat a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's complaining about how bad you have it? well guess how that one ends? Get into a state of mind where you know that nothing can get in your way where your health and fitness is involved, eat properly (yes I said properly) get some movement into your days and focus on that instead of any of the negative and the same can be said about the results. Expecting thin and healthy to just happen, perhaps it will just fall into our laps while we devour a double bacon bacon and pepperoni pie with extra cheese while watching The biggest loser? is stupid, take a look in that mirror and ask which life you would prefer. I can honestly say that I haven't worn a crown in quite some time now and the fact that I am healthier than I have ever been shows where my head is in this game.

If you could see the you that I see when I see you seeing me, you'd see yourself so differently, Believe Me...

As Ever
Me...

Day 1098.. Thats alotta days!

Here here! another year has come to pass and I find myself still chugging along with the choice to live cleaner and healthier at the fore front of my way of life. My blog has always been written from the perspective of a 500 plus pound guy that needed to lose weight to stay alive, to be able to do things that the mere mortals of the world take for granted each and every day and over the course of the last three years I have changed everything about my life. Coming to the realization that I am not 500 pounds any more has been harder than I expected but I think that I am coming around to the fact that I don't get out of breath from the most remedial tasks and that feeling has become the "norm" finally. Losing more than 200 pounds and keeping it off for the last couple years is an amazing feat of determination in my opinion but pushing through a comfort zone has to be a priority for me and the plan is as you know if you have read along is to hit my goal of 275 this year hopefully before April.

My new acquisition, early 1990's Schwinn Crisscross as i picked it up.

Other than a FD shifter that needs some love this bike is in amazing condition, of course the fella could have bypassed wiping it down with WD40 before I got there but hey! I need to go through it anyways so it will get a bath either way.

Helping me achieve that goal is my bicycling hobby, I call it a hobby at this point because I currently own seven bikes ranging from mountain bikes mainly to hybrids and even a road bike. When I bought that first bicycle back in June 2009 I never anticipated it becoming the beginning of a new addiction hobby. Accruing enough bicycles to ride a different one each day of the week wasn't a thought and I am sure my wife had no idea that our house would be full of bike parts and whole bikes when she got me that K2 back in June. Come spring I shall thin my herd significantly utilizing the list of Craigs to move a few to new homes and hopefully make some happy riders for this years riding season. Having a hobby that keeps me moving and allows me to get out there and really enjoy my workouts is nothing but a positive and anyone that knows me knows that I like making things my own so getting a bike on the cheap and refurbishing it is fun for me. This weekend I happened upon a bicycle on Craigslist that I thought the price was decent enough so I emailed the lady and it turns out that the frame was my size and it is sort of a hybrid/cross bike so long story short it was added to the fleet.

I am noticing that I have more posts mentioning bicycles popping up so I may work on a "bicycling" section for those posts to be search-able as I have got a couple hits/emails on the blog because of the bike stuff I have posted. My workouts have completely changed from when I started which through evolution is normal I suppose, where I was only able to walk for 20 minutes and about 1/3 of a mile at a go now walking a distance of 5k is just something that I do because its nice out on that day! My first ride on my mountain bike was about a mile and I had to pull over to ponder whether I should name my bike "Prison sex" because of the apparent violation that took place during said ride and here I am expanding my rides out to about 20 miles these days. I am no where near the same person physically as I was when I first sat down behind my lap top and wrote out my first blog post a defeated 534 pound man who couldn't think of anything else so common sense had to be the plan. With all of that said its time to get back to basics with ye olde blog and I am going to start posting my menu's and workouts more often again as I did in the beginning, I liked having my entire week out there for me to look back on as well as any of you fine people who care to take a peek.

So much has changed for me since making the decision to drop the weight from my bones, coming from a place where walking up a flight of stairs was a chore to where I am now going to the gym 5-6 times per week and riding my bikes 15 to 20 miles per day in the warmer months. Looking into that mirror that leads back to my former 500 pound self from time to time forces me to never forget why I gotsta keep on keepin on until I get where I set out to go and though I don't think that I will ever forget that fella I do know that I never want to wear his shoes again.

The end has come to this episode of as the fat guy turns...

As Ever
Me