Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Fat guy on ice.

Long time no blog! well six days anyways, I have been how do I say? laid up for a couple few days because of my jungle cat like gracefulness last Friday. During the last snowfall here in Connecticut I thought that it would be a grand idea to have the small people that live with me go outside and play in the icy fun that was falling from the sky while I shoveled the driveway and cleared off the motorized wagons parked in said driveway. Clearly I state mostly for the twelve year old small person who has a knack for doing the wrong thing most of the time "stay where I can see you until I am done shoveling" the five year old small person agreed as did the other and off they went to the front yard. Noticing that all I can hear is the small one yelling I decided to walk around the side of the house and amazingly the twelve year old was on the other side of the yard with the smaller of the two creatures boot in hand filling it with snow. The dad in me took over as I yelled at him to get his...um... please come over here boy which he apparently suffered from sudden deafness as he bolted in the opposite direction that I told him to go. Now while I am walking towards the small one to help get her boot back on and NOT looking at where my feet are being placed on the steep snow covered sheet of ice that I like to call a driveway abruptly and faster than I thought possible my feet were in the air and I felt like the coyote in a roadrunner cartoon as I seemingly floated in mid air for a few seconds before crashing to the bottom of a ravine. All 300 pounds of me landed pinpointed on my right hip, low on the hip but yeah, As I lay on the driveway the smaller of the two came over and squatted down placing her face within two inches of mine and asked with all sincerity "Dada, why are you laying in the driveway?" because I am honey.

Random shot of our snow fort, the hole looks deceivingly small in this shot but I can just about crawl through that hole on my hands and knees and not hit the edges, the pile started out about 9 feet tall.

After the fall I finished shoveling the driveway which in hindsight may have been the wrong decision because of the fact that here it is Tuesday and I am still in pain and cannot lay on my right side. I haven't been to the gym in that same time and sitting around bored, in pain and unmotivated because of it has wreaked havoc on my good habits and I have been finding myself on the wrong side of some meals that I probably should have passed on. My daughter has been home from school for the past two days with a low grade fever and Sunday night was up until about 1am coughing and puking, yay! lack of sleep resulted in a couple few cups of coffee and I have not been staying hydrated at all so I am sure that I am up in weight. "Why don't you just get on the scale man?" The good ol scale went kaput last week so I haven't been on the scale in more than a week and honestly I am unsure that I would want to see what it has to say right now, I am sure the hard work that I have been putting in is also....kaput.

Not making it to the gym is how do I say? Driving fuckin' nuts! I shouldn't say that because its not the gym really its the lack of exercise as I would really prefer to be riding one of my bikes out on the trail over any trip to the gym. In the background, meaning not making the blog I have been doing the 100 push ups program in an attempt to get some personal goals out of the way, I had been making great progress and literally broke through an old personal record last week before the mishap in the driveway so I am unsure how that will be effected as its a progressive program. Something that I noticed about myself is that if I can't workout in some way or another it does affect the way that I feel, I don't want to say that I get depressed but holy hell am I itching for a workout as I write this. When pain is whats stopping me from doing what I do and there is nothing that I can do about it I feel caged or something and then the boredom kicks in and I resort to grabbing some "snacks" which eventually leads to my going over calories, hmmmm seems like I have been to this rodeo before.

That last statement kicked me in the face yesterday afternoon because my original weight gain was largely accompanied with an injury that lead to all of what I just described above but in a larger scale with my back injury. No, I am not going to backslide my way back to 534 pounds because I slipped on some ice and banged my hip like an elderly person but the fact that I can make some comparisons that seem very much alike one another is a tad bit scary for me because it is possible if I let it be to fall into that cycle. Unsure when I will make it back to the gym, perhaps tomorrow for at the very least a brisk walk on a treadmill, I do have to keep my daily calories in tact and not go over my allowed amount that's in the bank, there is no reason that I should eat badly just because I am sitting around bored and unable to workout. When I think about what I just said about sitting around bored and unable to workout I am instantly flung back in time and I know that's what got me up to 500 pounder with cheese status and falling off of that wagon for a couple days is one thing but not snatching up the reigns and getting back to the task at hand is another thing all together.

Slipping on the ice isn't the only place that I slipped over the last few days, I have had slips during this process and know that I will continue to have them, we all do. There is a lot going on in my life right now that is not related to my weight loss and or health and all at the same time it is directly related because I have so much more because of making the changes in my life that helped me get healthy again.

Today I leave you with a quote that I have agreed with for quite a long time.

"Half of life is fucking up, the other half is dealing with it"
~Henry Rollins~

As ever


  1. You can do it. Life isn't fair. And it's not unfair. It's just life. Wonderful things happen, shitty things happen. And we all decide for ourselves what we do with it.

    I've been slipping up lately too, and I really appreciate your post.

  2. You've done this for so long, you have motivation and spirit. I doubt you'll let yourself slip back to where you were before. I believe in you!

    Get better! I hope you get back on that bike soon!


  3. Great Rollins quote. Good to vent about this stuff as well. Have every confidence in you dealing with this little blip and getting back on track.

    I can't wait for better weather too. It is too cold to bike over here for me (I know, excuses as we have no snow...) Bike looks at me reproachfully every time I walk past it to the kitchen...

  4. Just found your blog. Love the Rollins quote.
    Hope you can get to the gym soon.

    I'm looking for suggestions on music to listen to when I work out. Now I am thinking of adding Black Flag now that you mentioned Rollins...
    My resolution for 2011 is to find more high energy music than the normal Top 40 stuff. While searching for music I found this video, its pretty funny. Wait until the end for a url to get the song for free:


    Music suggestions welcome. Any songs you can’t go to the gym without?

  5. I miss your posts, Zeusmeatball! And what about your weigh-in on 1/31? I know you got hurt, and it probably didn't go well, but so what? You must know more than anyone that writing stuff down allows to think about what to do next and to get past whatever is currently annoying. Besides, I miss reading your thoughts.