Wednesday was one of those days where I felt like everything went right even when it went wrong, I woke up two minutes before my alarm and even though I have a little bit of a cold right now felt good. My morning cup of tea went down and I began my day, The gym was calling so I wrote yesterdays post and did not wait to go to the gym at my normal time and out the door I went into the freezing cold, did I mention that the lake is beginning to freeze over? At the gym I rode my stationary bike for 35 minutes at a 95RPM average followed by a trot on the treadmill 7% incline 3.5MPH for 30 minutes and home I headed for lunch. My calories came in at 1760 for the day and was very balanced, drinking is never an issue but for the record I finished the day with 2 gallons of green tea and H2O with a side of 3 cups of hot green tea. My son came home from school and decided that he would throw a temper tantrum, I told him that it was coming off of his end of the night ie: You're going to bed early tonight kid and on I went with my positive vibe.
The picture that I took a few nights ago has really impacted me in a positive way even though it literally turned my stomach when I put it next to my 305 shirtless pound photo and I seem to have found my mojo again. I think seeing a side by side of myself looking heavier was what I needed right now, Getting comfortable was getting out of hand and like I said even though I wasn't really gaining weight regularly I had gained some and was just hovering there. Nothing is getting to me right now, I believe that a Rum cake from Luigi's Bakery could be put in front of me with a fork and I wouldn't touch it, yes folks, its like that. Every bite, every ingredient, and every drink is weighed and measured before I will eat it and then it is written into my excel sheet for the record books. Right now as I type I have three meals written into my excel sheet and an amount of calories left over for snacks or smaller meals that will fit between my meals and as far as fuel goes I know where mine will come from all day long. As long as I stick to the excel sheet I cannot fail today where my fuel is concerned, this is how I look at food, it is merely fuel for my body to complete the tasks for any given day.
The concept of looking at my food as Fuel and nothing more is how I did it from the very beginning so its nothing new to me, only recently have I started looking at it as "hmmm I like the way that tastes better than this so I will have that instead" so back to food is fuel I go. Saying food is fuel doesn't mean that I eat cardboard either, looking at my excel sheet for today my breakfast was 2 cups of honey comb cereal with 1 cup of 1% milk, I will have an almond Zone perfect bar before I go to the gym, Lunch is going to be 4oz of panko breaded haddock fillets on 100 calorie deli slims with some laughing cow cheese (my version of a fillet O fish but mine are only 225 calories each), then Dinner is going to be 2 soft tacos/burritos made on 100 calorie tortillas (which are huge, two more than fills me up) and the three meals leaves me 205 calories to play with. The 205 calories will be all fruit, perhaps a pear, a banana and a few grape tomatoes? that's the beauty of it, I can adjust it however I want/need to and I am not ever once in a day feeling hungry or like I am missing out on anything.
In the beginning I was a 500 pound man with few options, many of them led me into a hole in the ground, some led to expensive surgeries, and one led me to where I am today. These days I am a much healthier version of that guy but the same guy none the less, I have a feeling that I will struggle with food for a long time but when I can get my head into this in a way where I turn all cravings and ahem..addictions into logical thinking it is I who runs Bartertown. I have a feeling that on December 31st when I step onto that scale for the blog that anyone that is following my little trek through weight loss will understand just how focused I have become again, lets just say that Wify suggested that I take the day off from the gym today because I have been going so hard, just like old times.
We do in fact control our own destiny, we are the one with the fork in our hands so unless you are tied to a chair with a large ogre of a man forcing food down your gullet YOU are the one that decides what goes in.