Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Submit to me...

Lately the name of the game has been get to the gym, count the calories and drink my green tea and H2O, I have been all business at the gym and for my efforts the posts have been coming slower lately. This afternoon I did 20 minutes on the stationary bike at the gym @99RPM's covering eight virtual miles, following that I lifted weights for about an hour covering my chest, triceps and did one movement for my biceps since they were a secondary group being used in one of my chest exercises. My calories as I type this are at 2005 total and I am done for the day at this point, included in those calories is a banana, 2 peaches, 4oz of roasted turkey breast, a whey protein shake and the rest of the menu is very similar, to say that I have been eating cleanly is an understatement. Somewhere along the way in the last week or so my focus has become strongly aimed at getting below 300 pounds as fast as possible without stressing over it and I can see the numbers on the scale in my head as clear as I can see the screen in front of me as I type right now 299.

I have not been posting my weight on Fridays for a couple weeks and that is sort of purposely not on purpose, wait what? Somehow having that "I gotta post my weight on Friday" monkey sitting on my shoulder was screwing with my mojo so the first time around it was literally I lost track of days but last week I decided that I wasn't posting it because I was in a zone and didn't need the false road block to get in the way. I have had no time to write daily because of a non weight loss related situation that has kept me from the keyboard as often as I would like to be here but I am going to try and get to posting on a regular basis once again as some of the smoke is clearing and I actually feel guilty not writing a post! not to mention that I have fallen behind on all of the other blogs that I enjoy reading.

My wife has been a peach the last couple weeks, She has kept me on track with some extra support and we even got out on a hike yesterday which played a part in why I didn't get a post up. We hiked about 4.5 miles much of that was up hill and we packed a lunch that we enjoyed on a "look out point" along the trail that actually over looks one of the bike trails that I ride and that was probably the most awesome lunch that I have had in a long time. I started something back in January 2008 with this whole weight loss thing and back then it was a matter of do I want to live or do I want to die and that made things easy because if there is one thing that is certain its that I want to be around for my wife and kids, for about the last year though I found that I was/am comfortable with where I am physically....to a point.

Comfort is one of those things that can sneak up on a fella and slowly take over the drive that was once flowing in his blood, it is after all one of the main reasons that many people try and lose weight right? I LOVE the being comfortable with myself thing, I am finding it harder to find things that I am limited from doing these days and feel that I have my life back not in the respect of anything other than my stamina is there again and I do what I want to. The mere fact that I can on a whim go on a hike with the love of my life and sit in the quiet of the New England woods sharing a moment of just enjoying the company is something that I was not a possibility at 534 pounds and I have been soaking those moments up as they come for the last year.

There is something on my horizon that is very important to me and getting myself back into the groove of dropping weight like its my job is just how its going to be for as long as it takes me to get to my goal weight. The days of letting the comfort be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow are over, I need to get to my goal so that I can prove to myself that I can in fact go the full 100% and not be mister 97% like I have been in the past, its time to get the last couple few off of my bones once and for all. My lowest weight since starting down this road to better health was 305 pounds back on May 21st, I am right now as I type this post 25 pounds higher than that low number and honestly it aggravates me more than almost anything that I can think of right now but to focus on that would be a mistake.

I am focusing on my calories, I again started weighing EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth a week ago, no more "going off of what I know" with my "eying it" technique. Missing a workout is not an option which is nothing new because as you all know I LOVE the gym and I LOVE the workouts but I am going to push myself harder in order to get to my goal weight which will start by me getting back down to that 305 pound mark that I made back six months ago. I need to get to that initial goal not because of anything other than to prove to myself that I can finish what I started back in January 2008, I've come this far and I've done it on my own, no payment plans or food in a box delivered to my door, not at the edge of a knife on an operating table and no miracle pills, I will get to the weight that I set out to get to, my way.

That's all I got for tonight, tomorrow will be just the next day in a string of many where I punish my body into submission.

As Ever

1 comment:

  1. You so inspire me to keep pushing myself..to stay consistent!!You are amazing!!