See that wagon over yonder? yeah, the one that I fell off of about a week ago, that's the one, keep your eye on it because I am hoping back on. When stress enters stage left its devastating for my ass, I immediately go to the "stress eating" and nothing helps it. Figuring out how to deal with stress in a different way has to be a priority for me as it is how do they say? my down fall.
Not getting into exactly the source of stress because its nothing that I can fix or change, I need to change the how I deal with it factor more than the stress itself because life will always include stress on one level or another. I am not making excuses for my lack of control with the eating and I am not blaming "stress" I am just straight up stating the why part of the equation that lead to a screwed week of poor choices when it came to my intake.
Me and my beard full of ice.
My poor Truck
My driveway after using the snow blower and its still not down to black top! to give you a point of reference, that's a Ford Expedition and the snow is higher than the tire.
With that said, I have ridden the trainer more this week than I have all year and with the snow that came down over the weekend I haven't stopped moving with all of the shoveling but that will not make up for the lack of discipline in the refrigerator department. When my weight loss is the subject my intake is more important than any exercise that happens, from the beginning I lose weight faster when I eat within my calories and walk at least a mile 3-4 times per week and this has to go back into place as my basic program.
Making sure that my calorie limit is not disrespected will be my main focus in the coming weeks, I will also be utilizing the trainer and walking to get some movement into each day. I was talking to Wify last night and told her that I really wished that I could figure out why as soon as stress pops its head into my daily that I immediately turn to my old pal food, it is the most frustrating aspect of my life. No matter how hard I try, no matter how far I come or how much weight I drop when it comes to stress in my life the same fix pops into the picture, snatch something up and shove it down my throat, fuck....
This whole weight loss thang is not a race so it truly is just a start over from now kind of a feeling but I have to tell you, looking back at photos of me at 305 may as well be a kick to the throat because its where I want to be. Looking at my closet full of a wardrobe full of clothes that just don't fit me currently pisses me off and yet stress pops in? you know where to find me.
Only one thing to do and that's to put my big boy pants on stop acting like a Nancy and harden the fuck up, allowing food to have this hold on me is weak and fighting with that fact is not easy but its my life and weighing close to 400 pounds is NOT in the fucking plan.
That's all I got for today, time to ride the trainer.